


Shining Light

by Flulamela



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brainwashing, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Lance (Voltron), Druids, Galra Keith (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 05:41:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 51,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12149823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flulamela/pseuds/Flulamela
Summary: He sees Lance still crouched in the middle of the corridor, his face contorted in pain after throwing Keith. Keith tries to call out to him, but his vision is starting to blur and his brain becoming sluggish from the pain and the blood loss. He must have said something though because Lance looks back over at him. Lance looks above Keith, shouting something, but as Keith loses his grip on consciousness he can’t make it out. Beneath him, Keith feels Red start to move. He tries to get his thoughts in order, tell her to stop, to wait for Lance.Keith tries to crawl toward him, to get him back damn it.As darkness creeps in on the edges of his sight, he sees Lance smile at him, like the one he gave him in the castle.It’s the last thing Keith sees before passing out.Lance’s smileAfter a rescue mission gone wrong, Lance is captured by the Galra. The Team tries to get him back, but when they do, they slowly start to realize that it wasn't just the mission that went wrong...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone this is my first time writing a fic, so please be gentle with me >o< . However if anyone has concerns or criticism feel free to leave a comment down below. Not quite sure how often I'll be updating this or how long the chapters are gonna be, but I'll try my best to keep this going! Also, rating/tags may change as the story progresses, we shall see.....  
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoy reading!

“Ha… ha…”

Keith was running down a corridor, the same one he’d been down for a while now. He knew where he was going, had traced this certain path so many times it was seared into his memories for the rest of eternity.

He skids around the corner, barely loosing speed and shoots through the hangar doors. He can see the other paladins’ lions looming over him from the corner of his eyes, but he’s only focused on trying to reach the one in front of him.

The black lion.

Suddenly all the momentum he had seems to vanish, his legs fighting to run through invisible molasses. He can feel his heart rate pick up, that ugly feeling starting to claw its way up his chest, choking him. Even as he flails, trying to get closer, he can see the Black lion slipping away out of his reach, and suddenly he’s falling into an endless black hole.

It’s so dark as he screams into the endless blackness, but it just swallows up the sound. The silence seems to mock him: _Alone, alone, alone, alone, alo-_

 

With a sharp inhale, Keith wakes up. For a second he panics, his eyes seeing nothing but darkness in front of him. Then his eyes adjust, and he can make out the other side of his room with the faint light seeping in from under his door. Keith lets out his breath in a rush, trying to get his heart rate back down to normal levels. Sighing, he rolls over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling for a moment before pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. As his heart starts to calm, he thinks back to his dream. There’s nothing new about it, it’s been the same one ever since-

 

He swallows, throat suddenly tight.

 

_“Ever since Shiro went missing”_

 

He presses his hands in harder, making spots bloom across the inside of his eyelids. He stays like that for a moment longer, half considering trying to go back to sleep again. In the end, Keith rouses himself, forcing himself to get up knowing that sleep is impossible now. As he pulls on his armor, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror of his bathroom. He scowls a little at the sight of himself. His hair is slightly longer now, and messier than it normally is.

 _“Lance is probably gonna flip out about it again”_ Keith thinks wryly, a hint of a smile gracing his features. That quickly turns back into his previous scowl as he regards the dark circles under his eyes. They seem to show up more on his pale skin, making his eyes seems bigger and raccoon-like. Keith just sighs, it’s not like he ever really cared much about his appearance in the first place, Lance making sure to remind him of that constantly when they first became a team. Keith just grabs his helmet, taking a quick breath before he walks out of his room.

It had been 3 weeks since Voltron’s battle with Zarkon and Shiro’s disappearance. 3 weeks since everyone had rushed to the Black lions cockpit, staring in shock at the place where Shiro had been. Where Shiro _should’ve_ been.

It had been nothing short of an up-hill battle since then. Just because they were a man down, didn’t mean the universe suddenly stopped needing to be saved. To say it was frustrating was an understatement; the team was being pushed to their limits, more so than before. Of course, they did have the Blade of Mamora on their side now, but they were already stretched thin what with their extensive spy network scattered across the remotest part of the universe. Hell, they barely even had time to grieve after-

Keith clamped down on that train of thought hard before it could spiral.

 _“No”_ Keith thinks, _“We didn’t have time to grieve because Shiro’s not dead”_

But even now, it’s starting to sound more and more hollow of an excuse to him.

 

They had just gotten back from another mission, after receiving a distress call from a small planet. It had been fairly simple, they helped the local populace drive out their Galran oppressors with the help of the  Blade. Keith was just stepping out of lion when suddenly Coran’s voice sounds off on the castles speakers.

“Paladins, come to the bridge as soon as you can! Allura has important news for everyone!”

Keith casts a glance around to his fellow paladins, Hunk and Pidge exchange nervous looks while Lance makes eye-contact with him and shrugs.

 “Can’t be anything worse, right?” Lance jokes halfheartedly, trying to lighten the mood. Keith just scowls at him before marching towards the command bridge.

When Keith and the rest of the teams enters the command room, Allura is deep in conversation with Kolivan. Kolivan’s back is towards them, but whatever it is they’re talking about must be important since Allura’s face is pale and she suddenly looks as if she’s trying very hard not to cry.

Keith frowns. “What’s going on?” he asks.

“Yeah”, Lance chimes in from behind him, “Where’s the fire?”

Kolivan steps away from Allura, face impassible as he does. Allura doesn’t look up at them, still lost in whatever Kolivan told her.

“Princess?...” Pidge asks softly.

Allura blinks once, as if remembering where she is. She looks up at them as she takes in a shaky breath. She opens her mouth to speak, before hesitating and glancing back over her shoulder to Kolivan. He gives an almost imperceivable nod and Keith _swears_ he see’s his lips edge up in a smile.

At that, Allura sets her shoulders as she faces the team again. She’s wearing a look of determination, but her eyes seem to be lighter than before.

“I have some… incredible news.” She says slowly. Keith and everyone else wait patiently as she struggles to find her words.

“Kolivan, with the resources that the Blade has” Allura continues, “They intercepted an encrypted message… a message that was apparently being transmitted to Galra high command”.

Keith can feel his breath catch in his throat, can feel the other do the same behind him.

_Hope, that’s what’s in Alluras’ eyes._

As if reading his mind, Allura smiles. Her voice cracks a bit as she continues.

“The message mentioned the ‘Champion’… we know where Shiro is.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding out Shiro's alive comes as a shock to the team, but maybe not everyone is exactly elated at hearing the news...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again! Here I am trying to post another chapter as fast as I can while I still have motivatio- I mean time. While I still have time. For all of those that have read the first chapter, thanks for the Kudos and I'm glad you guys seem to like the story so far! Again, if you have any comments or criticisms or see any typos, feel free to let me know!
> 
> Sorry that this is a bit of a filler chapter, but it was getting kinda long and so I decided to split it into 2 parts. However, that should mean another chapter within the next day or so! Yay!  
> But if you guys like the longer chapters, leave a comment and I'll make sure to make them extra long for next time.

“We know where Shiro is”.

  
When Allura uttered those words, Lance felt like he’d just taken a punch to his gut. Immediately Lance’s eyes flicked over to Keith who was standing slightly in front of him. He saw Keith’s shoulders tense, and he could see enough of Keith’s face to see of the colour drain from it and his eyes widen. For a millisecond, Lance felt a familiar pang of bitterness in his chest, before he quickly shoved it down again. He realized he was still looking at Keith, waiting for his reaction. He see’s Keith going to open his mouth, but Pidge beats him to it.

  
“What? Where?” They shout at the same time Hunk gasps “Shiro’s alive?”, before taking a step forward to stand beside Keith. Instead of answering, Allura motions for Kolivan to speak.

  
Kolivan steps up to the center of the room while Allura pulls up the map of the galaxy they’re currently in.

  
“We intercepted the transmission from when we were in the Chirasel Galaxy just a few days ago” Kolivan explains, gesturing to a planet on the holo-map. “From what we can assume from where it was being transmitted-”.

  
“What do you mean a few days ago?” Keith cuts off Kolivan angrily, his narrowed eyes flicking back and forth between Kolivan and Allura. “Why are we only finding out about this now?”

  
Even Lance has to agree with Keith on this one, as everyone gives the princess a questioning look. Allura has the grace to look slightly guilty before answering.  
“As Kolivan mentioned, the message we intercepted was an encrypted one, so initially we didn’t know what it said” Allura explained patiently. “Even when we managed to crack it…” Allura pauses, glancing away from Keith’s intense glare.

  
“We just… had to make sure.”

  
_‘Meaning she didn’t want to get our hopes up’_ Lance thinks, but keeps his mouth shut for once. Looking back over at Keith, he seems to relax slightly, accepting Allura’s explanation. After an awkward pause, Kolivan continues.

  
“As I was saying, after cracking this message, it appears that one of Zarkons commanders has your friend aboard a ship somewhere in this location.” Kolivan moves the holo-map around going to a different Galaxy, before zooming in on seemingly blank section of space.

  
“That is the location mentioned by the coordinates in the message” he says, guesturing to the blank spot on the map.

  
Lance squints at the map a moment in confusion, “There’s nothing there” he states.

  
It’s hard to tell because Kolivan is still wearing his mask, but Lance is pretty sure the silence and the slight twitch of his tail means he’s rolling his eye’s at Lance. “Yes” Kolivan continues slowly, “it does seems like nothings there. However-”

  
Pidge cuts him off, a look of clarity passing over their features.

  
“Of course!”. Pidge looks around excitedly at them all, but seeing the look of confusions on everyone’s faces, gives an annoyed sigh before explaining.

  
“Look at the space around it guys, isn’t odd that there aren’t any stars around it?”

  
Lance takes another look at the map in front of them; Pidge is right. The space where Kolivan pointed at isn’t just blank, its…. Non-existent. Its as if someone has cut out that part of the universe, like something should be there, but just… isn’t.

  
_Its almost like…_

“It’s like when we we’re trying to find Ulaz’s base.” Keith whispers beside him.

  
Pidge nods, “Exactly. The Galra must have found a way to replicate what Ulaz did.” They frown suddenly, as they think about it. “This mean we’ll be going in blind, doesn’t it?” Pidge asks, turning to Kolivan.

  
Kolivan nods grimly. “Yes, we can’t get an accurate layout of whatever is in that space pocket since our scanners can’t get a proper read on it.”

  
“But you know that Shiro is in there?” Lance pipes up “How? I mean, even if this message says he’s in there, how can we know for sure?”

  
Lance sees Keith shoot him a glare from the corner of his eye, but before he can say anything, Allura steps in.

  
“Because while we were trying to decrypt the initial message, we caught part of one that was being transmitted back”. Allura waves a hand, bringing up what looks like an audio clip.

  
“It’s not much I’m afraid” She says before letting the clip play. Initially there's nothing much but garbled static, and Lance has to strain to make out anything. But eventually the quality becomes better and a broken voice fill the empty space of the command center.

“….pion….good ne…. arkon is….. communication still aff…. will be sen… wait for our….”

  
The audio lapses back into static, but just when Lance thinks its over, a familiar raspy voice continues.

“I look forward to seeing the Champion”.

  
Lance feels his blood turn to ice. He’d only heard that voice a handful of times but it was enough to make a shiver of fear run down his spine.

_Haggar._

There’s a beat of silence before Pidge speaks.

  
“If Haggar is involved then it has to be Shiro” they say firmly. Allura purses lips, “That is the hope.” She says softly.

“Then what are we doing standing around?!”

  
Everyone jumps slightly at the outburst from Keith, who is now glaring daggers at both Kolivan and Allura. Allura seems to have expected this as she raises her hands slightly “Keith, this is serious, if Haggar is involved-“

  
“Damn right this is serious!” Keith shouts, “If Haggar is involved and you knew, we should’ve been on our way over there days ago!”

  
Allura flinches at his tone but tries again to explain. “Keith, I’m sorry but we had to make sure-” Keith is practically vibrating with anger as his eyes starting to glisten.

  
“Bullshit” Keith hisses through clenched teeth “you just wanted to make sure because you already accepted the fact that he was dead!”.

  
Allura blinks like she had been struck, while Pidge mummers “not cool man…” Seeing Keith like this, looking so hurt and betrayed, makes Lances heart clench. He reaches out to put a hand on Keith’s shoulder.

  
“Keith….” He starts.

  
His hand brushes Keith’s shoulder but Keith shrugs him off, turning on his heel before storming away angrily. There’s a whoosh of the doors opening and closing and then he’s gone.

  
Looking at Allura, Lance sees hurt flash across her features from Keith’s exit.

  
“Hey, don’t worry about Keith” Lance say’s jokingly, “He’s just moody because I was more awesome than him on our latest mission!”

  
Pidge snorts, while Hunk rolls his eyes affectionately. Allura’s mouth tilts up in a small smile briefly before frowning again. “I am sorry” she says clasping her hands in front of her, “I wanted to tell you immediately, but I also didn’t want to get everyone’s hopes up”.

  
Seeing the Princess look so guilty makes Lance’s heart go out to her, He can only imagine what it was probably like, finding out about that initial message not wanting to get your hopes up…

  
“Its ok Allura, we totally understand” Hunk reassures her. Allura looks up at them shyly, gratitude shinning in her eyes. “Thank-you Hunk, all of you, for understanding”.

  
Allura straightens then, turning back around to Kolivan. “Right!” she says cheerfully, “lets get to planning, shall we?”

 

Its not till much later that Lance and the other are able to leave. Hunk and Pidge don’t hang around for very long, scampering off to the lion’s hanger to get started on their part of the plan. With nothing really to do at the moment, Lance decides to make his way back to his room. As he walks back, his mind wanders, going back over the events that happened in the past few hours. He still can’t believe they found Shiro, his mouth curling up in a smile at the thought. Then he remembers the look on Keith’s face when he found out, when he realized that Allura hadn’t told them right away…

  
Keith had looked relieved, his violet eyes going almost comically wide. His lips had parted ever so slightly in his shock, his porcelain skin looking even more pale…

  
Lance shakes his head violently trying to dislodge that train of thought. _‘No’_ he tells himself, _‘we are NOT going there.’_

Lance gets to his room but pauses for a second, looking across the hall where Keith’s room was. He hesitates, torn between leaving Keith be and wanting to go comfo- _ahem_ , let Keith know what the plan is.

  
Well, Keith does need to know what the plan is, but… Lance internally winces as he remembers Keith’s outburst, how his eyes had glistened with unshed tears.

  
_Its probably best if I leave him alone for now… it’s not everyday you find out your boyfriend is alive._

  
Lance turns back to his door and enters his room, crossing the floor before flopping on his bed with a tired groan.

  
“Man, what a day…”

  
Lance lies on his bed a moment longer, letting the temptation of sleep pull his eyes closed. _‘Nope, face first, sleep later’_ he thinks, making himself sit up again. Lance trudges over to his bathroom, stripping out of his armor as he goes. As he goes through his usual nightly skin care routine Lance lets his thoughts drift, mulling over the plan they had talked about earlier. By the time he puts on his pajamas and crawls back into bed, the exhaustion of the day hits him in full force. Laying on his back in the darkness, Lance finally allows the feeling he felt earlier bubble to the surface.

  
_‘I wish that was me’._

  
Not that Lance likes the idea of being captured by the Galra, _no thank-you, he likes it in the castle very much_. No, Lance thinks back to the look on Keith’s face from earlier, part shock part relief. But the care and emotion in those violet eyes…

Lance wishes that it was a look that could be directed at him one day.

He can’t really put a finger on when his feelings for Keith changed. One second, all he can see is Red whenever Keith was around at the Garrison. The next? Well he’s still seeing Red, but its softer, muted.

  
_‘Looking at the world through rose coloured glasses my ass’._

  
Lance won’t lie, when he realized the feelings directed towards Keith were of the... _affectionate_ variety, he panicked slightly.

  
Ok, more than slightly.

  
And in the end, he also acted _just_ a little bit petty (who can blame him anyways?), what with pretending to forget the ‘bonding moment’ he had with Keith (in all fairness, Keith clearly pretended to forget who he was), and then with the whole Nyma incident (aka operation: make Keith jealous).

  
But in the end, it didn’t matter what he did, or how many times he ranted about Keith’s stupid (read: perfect) hair to Hunk. Keith was never his to try and have in the first place.

  
_‘Cause Keith is going out with Shiro’_

  
Lance swallows hard as that bitter feeling squeezes his heart. He wont call it jealousy, he won’t, but what else is there to call it? And then today... Lance curls in on himself as a wave of guilt washes over him, today in that split second when Allura told them Shiro was alive, Lance hadn’t just felt relief.

  
He’d felt angry.

  
And he hated himself more because of it. He’d never admit it out loud, not even to Hunk, but he couldn’t deny that there had been a very, very small part of himself that hoped that maybe…. maybe with Shiro gone…

  
He couldn’t let himself finish the thought, it was awful enough that he was thinking about it in the first place! What kind of a desperate looser was he anyway, thinking something like that about Keith.

_I’m a horrible person_

  
Lance curls into himself even tighter, trying to keep his breathing calm, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. It’s in that moment Lance decides.

 

_'No matter what, I’m getting Shiro back to Keith.'_

 

When Keith stormed back to his room, his last comment to Allura rang in his ears.

  
_“You just wanted to make sure because you already accepted the fact that he was dead!”_

  
He knows he should probably feel guilty about what he said, but in that moment as he walks back to his room all he feels is anger.

  
_'Why the hell didn’t she tell us right away?! Doesn’t she know we’ve all been worried about Shiro?!'_

  
Even as Keith fumes, a small voice of reason creeps into the back of his head.

  
_'She’s just as worried about Shiro as you are, maybe more so…'_

  
Still angry, Keith slams on the panel to open the door to his room. With a huff Keith throws his helmet against the wall, pacing a moment before eventually coming to a stop in the middle of his room. It’s a bit of an effort, but Keith eventually manages to get his breathing to calm down. He’s still kinda mad, his angry just simmering below the surface of his skin. It eventually bleeds away though, as he realizes what’s really happened.

  
Shiro is alive… Shiro is _alive._

  
All at once, relief hits him again, making him sit against the edge of his bed. Once he starts thinking about it he can’t stop, the line _alive,alive,alive,alive,alive_ on repeat in his head. Keith realizes that he’s shaking, but finds that he doesn’t care.

  
_‘My brother is alive.’_

  
A small slightly maniac laugh passes his lips, causing Keith to slap a hand over his mouth. Even so, Keith slowly dissolves into giggles of relief, falling backwards on his bed.

  
_‘My brother is alive.’_

  
On his next inhale of giggles Keith’s breath catches and suddenly he’s crying. Small sniffles that turn into sobs that wrack his body. But _God, he is so relieved._  
Back on earth, Shiro was the closest thing to a family that Keith had. Hell, if he’s being honest, Shiro was the _only_ family Keith had. The one that mattered anyway. Keith doesn’t really remember when his Dad left him, only that one day he was there and the next, he wasn’t. Keith was bounced around from home to home as a kid, learning not to trust anybody since they all left in the end.

  
Then he got out of the system, somehow managed to land some scholarship to the Garrison. He still remembers not wanting to go, really only going because what other option did he have? When he got there he was angry, quiet and distrusting of pretty much everyone. Then Shiro came along.

  
Shiro had signed up to be part of the mentorship program which paired older and younger students together. Initially, Keith hated Shiro. He was so… _preppy_. Too optimistic and annoying always going on about _‘Keith’s potential’_ as a young cadet. Honestly, by the end of the first week of being paired together, Keith wanted to murder him.

  
At the memory, Keith manages to huff a small laugh, calming down a bit. Keith just lays there in the silence, his heartbeat the only thing he hears. The guilt from earlier makes a reappearance, and Keith feels horrible about what he said to Allura. After living for so long where it was just Him and Shiro, Keith still finds it hard to think that now, other people care about Shiro too.

  
_‘Especially Allura’_  .

  
Keith might be dumb sometimes, but even he could see the tension going on between Allura and Shiro. Keith winces internally, as he feels the guilt wash over him. He was out of line, he knows.

  
_‘I’ll apologize to Allura tomorrow”_

  
With that in mind, Keith finally rolls over and falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for backstory amiright? This chapter wasn't as hard to write as I thought it was, which I am super happy about. I'm not really good at back story, so let me know how I did! Also, if you guys find any potential plot holes, LET ME KNOW, and I will get write (ha get it?) on them to fix it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has to make up with Allura, and the Team goes over the plan to get Shiro back. Too bad they didn't think of Murphy's law....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws this at you at 2 am*
> 
> Whew! Okay, first off, thank-you to all the lovely people that have left kudos and comments on this work. It definitely helped drive me to get this chapter done!
> 
> That said.... sorry it took me so long to update this! >^< I had been hoping to post it earlier but then a bunch of stuff came up, Uni is picking up now, I couldn't get the chapter to flow the way I wanted it too...blegh.
> 
> But it's here now, so yay! And it's 7200 words! Double Yay!
> 
> Again, thanks to everyone who have left kudos, bookmarked this and left comments. I really do appreciate it.

 

When Keith wakes up the next morning, it's with a crick in his neck and someone banging on his door.

_‘That’s what I get for falling asleep in my armor I guess’_ Keith thinks, rubbing his aching neck. He rolls out of bed with a groan, stumbling to his door.

He hits the panel on the way beside the door, making it open with a pneumatic hiss and revealing an irritated Pidge.

“Finally! About time you heard me” they say rolling their eyes in annoyance. “Come one, Hunk made breakfast this morning and for once, it’s not one texture”.

As Pidge spin’s around and starts to walk away, Keith falls in beside them. There’s nothing but terse silence between them as they walk towards the dining hall. Keith might still be waking up, but that’s never seemed to stop Pidge from talking to him in the past. He hazards a quick glance over to them, but Pidge is staring ahead unwaveringly, face mostly neutral except for a small furrowing of their brows. Keith sighs internally, Pidge must be mad at him. He might not be the greatest at reading people, but he’s good at telling when people are mad, and with Pidge there are only two options. Full on yell-fest or the ice-cold shoulder. Keith looks away awkwardly, the feeling of guilt in his stomach growing. He knows he should apologize, so just before they reach the dining room doors he manages to mutter a small “Sorry”.

Pidge stops and looks at him, their face still mostly impassive. Keith isn’t sure if they heard him so he says it again, louder.

“Sorry”.

Pidge just raises one eyebrow in a “you don’t say?” kind of look.

Keith shuffles uncomfortably under their gaze before Pidge lets out a sigh muttering “I’m not the one you should be saying that too”.

Keith opens his mouth to respond, but before he can Pidge is already walking through the door into the dining room. Keith hesitates for a second before following Them inside.

The rest of the team is already gathered around the table when Keith walks in. Any conversation that was going on halts awkwardly at his entrance, making Keith pause in the doorway. Allura is sitting at the head of the table as always, and when Keith meets her eye the gentle smile that was on her face vanishes. He realizes belatedly that everyone is staring at him, body language tense and ready for a fight. A second of tense silence that seems to stretch out before Keith, making his palms suddenly sweaty as age-old anxiety creeps up on him

_‘They don’t want you here’_

_‘You don’t belong with them’_

_‘You’re Galra, why’d they want you?’_

His increasing panicked thoughts are interrupted when Lance gives out a low whistle. “Jeez Man” He snorts “no wonder you were so grumpy earlier. Anybody would when you have that greasy mop on your head!”

Keith is flooded with relief. He knows Lance is throwing him a bone. Giving him familiar ground to stand on. Trying to apologize is not Keith’s forte, bickering with Lance though….

Keith finds himself relaxing as he rolls his eyes in mock annoyance, “What is with you and my hair Lance? Jealous you can’t pull off long hair?”

The indignant look Lance gives him is priceless, his face going red as he splutters disbelief while Keith takes his seat. The tension alleviates somewhat at Lance’s antics and in his peripheral Keith can see everyone visibly relax. Ignoring Lance’s mutterings - _“jealous he says- can’t be jealous if you don’t use shampoo”_ \- Keith turns slightly to face Allura, Lance trailing off as he takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for leaving like I did. What’s the plan?”

Apparently, that’s a good enough of an apology for Allura because her face softens at his words.

“Yes, well I suppose we do have a lot to catch you up on” she surmises with a mischievous smirk. Keith has enough grace to look abashed at her words, he deserves the jab, but more importantly, it shows that it’s all water under the bridge. He nods, and Allura looks at Coran, gesturing for him to speak. Coran gets up quickly, straightening his jacket before launching into his explanation.

“Right! As Princess Allura said, there’s a lot to go over Number 4!” Coran snaps his fingers and the dining room lights dim as a Holo-projection flicker to life in the center of the table. The holo shows the area of the map Kolivan had shown them the day before. It begins to move and change as Coran continues.

“As we already discussed, the main problem is that it’s impossible to know what’s on the other side of the temporal space field. The field disrupts normal scanners. However, we have thought of another way to get a layout of the station.”

“That’s why I’ll use Blue’s cannon to get a sonic reading of the space station!” Lance interrupts. He leans back in his chair putting his hand behind his head with a smug look on his face as Coran nods.

“Exactly! Now once we get the scan from our side of the field, we’ll be sending in the rest of the team in the green and red lions- “

Its Keith’s turn to interrupt “Whoa, wait. How are we going to get the red lion through without being caught? I mean green makes sense cause they have their cloaking ability.”

“True” Pidge pipes up “but I think I’ve managed to find a way to transfer the same cloaking programming over to Red”.

Keith raises an eyebrow. “You think?”

Pidge just shrugs “Like 98 percent sure. It won’t be permanent but it should last long enough for us to be in and out”.

Keith levels at flat stare at them.

“What?” they ask. “I said 98 percent!”

Keith just lets out a long-suffering sigh before looking back at Coran. “I’m guessing we’ll be teaming up then?”

Coran nods affirmatively, “Righto Keith. You’ll be paired up with Lance and hit just under the ship while Hunk and Pidge take the communications room”.

Keith nods in understanding, glancing over at Lance. For a second their gazes meet, but then Lance is looking away quickly, bringing his arm up to rest his face on his hand. Keith isn’t sure, but it looks like there’s a dusting of pink seeping through the part of Lance’s face that isn’t covered.

_Weird. Must be the light._

Keith shrugs off the weird feeling in his chest. As Coran shuts down the hologram, he raises his hand in the air. “One last questions Coran”.

Coran gives a “Hmm?” prompting Keith to continue. “If we need a scan of the ship, why do you already know where we need to go?”

Before Coran can answer, Kolivan steps up. “Of course, we cannot be certain of what the actual interior will be, but one of our agents in the field managed to get us intel on potentially new Galra space carrier designs before our fight with Zarkon.” At this, Kolivan pauses.

“We haven’t heard from them since”.

Heavy silence fills the room, making Keith look down at his lap.

_Kolivan knew what he was getting the Blade into._

The logic of it though doesn’t ease any of the guilt in Keith’s chest. He thinks back to when he was in the Mamoran base, going through the trials. He remembers seeing all those faceless hooded figures, being filled with rage as he fought them.

_How many have died for this? How many have died for me?_

His hands clench in his lap _. I’ll be damned if any more have to die for us._

Keith looks up at everyone around the table. Everyone’s faces a version of seriousness, Pidge with their mouth set in determination. Hunk, his eyes betraying the nervousness he’s feeling but even as Keith looks at him, he sets his shoulders, sitting taller. Even Lance, who normally plays off the seriousness, is lacking his usual smirk. Instead, he’s looking forward to Allura, his blue eyes cold and brows slightly furrowed.

_It’s a good look on him._

The thought comes out of nowhere, making Keith blink as his mind reels. _What?_

Lance must have sensed him looking at him because his eyes flit over to Keith briefly. Their eyes meet and Lance gives him a small smile. Keith blinks again in surprise and then it’s gone, Lance facing Allura as if it never happened. Keith feels warmth creeping up his neck, so he swivels in his chair sharply, ignoring it. As they all look to Allura, she stands. Her eyes casting over everyone briefly she gives them a grim smile.

“Let’s get Shiro back.”

 

 

Even after Allura’s statement, they all stay a little bit longer to go over the plan again… as per Hunk’s request. There’s only so much they can go over though, only so much that they can cover while they leave the rest up to chance. Eventually, they trickle out of the dining hall. Pidge and Hunk head to the lions’ hanger to make sure that the cloaking ability will work and to work out any kinks. Allura, Coran, and Kolivan head back up to the command deck to get the small fleet the Blade had brought and the Castle ready for a wormhole jump. Feeling antsy with nervous energy, Keith decides to head up to the training deck to spar with a few drones. Just as he’s walking away, Lance calls out to him “Yo Keith, wait up!”

Keith stops and turns, allowing Lance to Jog up to him. “Where ya headed?” Lance asks, sticking his hands in the pockets of his jacket, falling into step beside Keith.  Keith frowns in suspicion before replying warily “Uh, the training deck?”

Lance nods to himself, “cool, cool” he says breezily, looking anywhere but Keith’s face. If Keith didn’t know Lance any better, He’d say that he seemed nervous. In fact, Keith thinks as he glances over again, he seems scared. In fact, something must be off, it was unnerving to have Lance beside him and for him not to be jabbering away about something or another. From the glances that he stole, Lance looked like he was wrestling with something internally, his eyes brows furrowed and twitching while he chewed on his lower lip. It wasn’t until they got in the elevator till Keith finally said something.

“Look Lance” he sighed, making Lance start “I don’t what’s going on, but whatever it is can you spit it out already? Even I can tell there’s something going on”.

Keith crosses his arms and fixes Lance with his best, ‘come-on-you-idiot’ glare, though there’s no real heat in it. For a second Lance opens his mouth to say something only to frown and have it snap back shut as the elevator dings.

Keith rolls his eyes “Alright then…” He mutters. He goes to get out only for Lance’s arm to snake out and grab his wrist. “Hey, what the hell Lance- “

“We’ll get him back.”

Keith stops pulling at the hand on his wrist. Lance isn’t looking at him, staring intensely where he’s grabbed Keith.

“I promise”.

Lance mutters the words softly before dragging his eyes up to Keith’s face. The look Keith sees makes him inhale sharply; it’s a look of pure determination, one that he doesn’t think he’s seen before on Lance’s face. Blue eyes bore into Keith, the intensity of them making Keith feel like he’s drowning. As he stares, Keith see’s something else behind Lance’s eyes, a glimmer of…. Something.

The edges of Lance's mouth turn up slightly into a small, sad smile. Then he’s releasing Keith and stepping back into the elevator. Before Keith can ask what the hell that was all about, the doors are starting to close and Lance is smirking at him again with a haughty remark of “Don’t train too hard ok Mullet?” And then he’s gone.

Keith stands in the hallway for a few moments, not really sure of what just happened as he rubs his wrist absentmindedly. Lance's hand had been warm around his wrist, the feeling of it soft. Probably from all those products he uses Keith thinks. Still slightly confused, Keith turns and walks over to the sparing room. As he inputs the training program sequence, he thinks back to the look on Lance’s face, that faint glimmer he saw in his eyes. As the first drone drops from the ceiling, Keith thinks it looked strangely like sadness.

 

Keith doesn’t stay in the sparring room for long, just enough to burn off the excess energy he has making him feel more focused, more in control. After, he just heads back to his room before taking a quick shower and passing out for a nap (remembering to take off the armor this time). There’s nothing else he can really do, he’s no expert in mechanics or programming and his part in the plan doesn’t come into play later.

It feels like he only just closed his eye’s before already Allura is calling for the paladins over the Castles intercom. Keith doesn’t spring out of bed like he normally does, instead, he sits on the edge of his bed for a second as he thinks about what they’re going to do. Weirdly enough, Lance’s words from earlier come back to him.

_“We’ll get him back. I promise.”_

Keith shakes of the heavy feeling hanging over him as he hurriedly puts on his armor. _‘Stop worrying’_ he tells himself, _‘you have a plan, you have the team, nothing is going to happen’_. Even as he thinks it though, it doesn’t stop his anxiety from raising its ugly head and whispering things.

_‘You’re not going to get Shiro back’_

_‘He’s not going to be there’_

_‘This plan is going to fail’_

_‘No’_. He thinks forcefully, attempting to drown out his fears. He doesn’t let himself dwell on it any longer, marching out of his room and taking the zipline down to the lion hanger.

When Keith gets there, everyone is already gathered except for Lance and Blue. Allura spots him as he crosses the hangar floor.

“Ah, Keith! There you are, what took you so long?”  Allura asks as he walks up to Red.

“Sorry,” he says with a shrug “I was taking a nap”. At that Allura rolls her eyes “Honestly” she mutters under her breath, “You’re getting as bad as Lance”. Hearing her, Keith gives a small pout while Pidge snickers and Hunk does a poor job of trying to hide his laugh behind a cough. Before Keith can retort though, the alarms for the hanger airlock doors go off and the secondary gravity shield shimmers into place as the doors open and Lance flies Blue into the hangar bay. The doors close and the gravity shield lifts just as Blue sits down and Lance comes scrambling out of her open mouth.

“I got it!” He yells excitedly, waving what looks like a data stick in his hand. He rushes over to them, quickly handing the stick off to Pidge who immediately runs over to the computer to upload it. It only takes a few seconds of Pidge rapidly typing away before a grainy picture of a ship comes up on the display.

“Sorry it’s not better quality,” Lance says awkwardly, rubbing at his neck. “I tried to get as many readings as I could, but it looks like the field is still disrupting it”.

“Don’t worry about it buddy” Hunk says, giving Lance a slap on the back “it’s the best we got considering”.

“This should work though” Pidge confirms. “It’s not the greatest image quality, but I can make out the layout of the place and I think….” They trail off, before clicking and moving the image around until they zoom on a portion of the lower levels. “There.” They point at where they’ve zoomed in. “Shiro is probably in there.”

Keith squints at where Pidge is pointing but can’t see anything different from the rest of the image. “How can you tell?”

Pidge fiddles around with the keyboard and the image clears up slightly. Now Keith can make out the outline of a large room in the middle of all smaller ones. “Don’t you think it’s weird that there’s this huge room next to all these little ones?” they question.

 “But couldn’t that just be a cargo bay?” Hunk pipes up from the back. Pidge shakes their head pointing again at the larger room. “No, I don’t think so. Look at this room here, and then the room near the back where the Engine systems would be.”

Keith looks at where Pidge is pointing and sure enough, the large room has the same slight box shape in one of the corners as the engine rooms do.

“It’s a generator” He mutters. Pidge nods affirmatively. “Yep, and why would they want an extra generator allll the way down in the bottom of the ship?”

Behind Keith, Hunk snaps his fingers in realization “Because they need a separate power source for a separate system!”

“And the only reason they would need a separate security system….” Allura realizes slowly.

“Is if they had a high-class prisoner to keep under lockdown even if the main power goes offline” Lance finishes.

“Shiro” Keith whispers.

They all stand in silence, frozen for a moment. Then Keith blinks and focuses himself again, setting his shoulders back and standing tall. “Pidge”, his voice coming out softer than he expected “you got the cloaking to work for Red, right?”

Pidge gives a shallow nod, tearing their eyes away from the computer screen to look at Keith. “Yeah, but like I said, it’s not going to be permanent. It should last you about 30 minutes.” Keith nods in understanding, “Plenty of time” he says. Keith looks over at Lance, “you ready man?” Keith asks, shooting him a smirk. Lance just snorts, posture relaxing.

“I was born ready Mullet-head” he grins back at Keith. Keith finds himself grinning back as he puts on his helmet and walks over to where Red is standing. As Lance follows and hunk and Pidge head over to the Green Lion, Allura calls after them. “Good-luck Paladins, and stay safe!”

Red lowers her head and opens up, letting Keith and Lance make their way inside. Once inside Keith buckles up in his pilot seat while Lance stands behind his chair gripping it tightly. “You sure you don’t want to sit?” Keith asks peering over his shoulder. Lance just shrugs nonchalantly “I’ll be fine Keith. Unless of course, you don’t know how to fly this thing?” he teases. Keith scoffs at him before grabbing the controls and easing Red out of the hanger. He flies out into open space, green right behind him as he heads for the area that Allura had told them where the space pocket was. As they near it, Pidge’s voice floats over the comms. “I’m going to activate your cloaking device now, ok Keith?”

“Sure thing Pidge” Keith responds. Pidges voice echo’s back down the line, “And remember, you only have- “

“30 minutes, we got it Pidge” Lance answers exasperated. “Don’t worry, we’ll be in and out, 20 minutes at most. Right Keith?”

Keith just nods, focusing instead on flying straight for the area in front of him. He vaguely hears Pidge say something before his screen flickers as what he assumes is the cloaking programming kicking in. Then he’s flying through the space and –

_Whoa_

They must have made it through the pocket because in front of him is a huge Galra battleship. Keith hears Lance swallow and mutter “Oh man…” as he slowly makes his way to the underside of the ship. As they slowly fly closer, the Comms crackle with slight disturbance as Hunk hails them over their frequency. “I’ve uploaded Lance’s scan of the ship into your helmets guys” Hunk explains. “Once Pidge and I get hooked into the communication ship onboard the ship, we should be able to get a better layout for you guys.

“Sounds goooou-da buddy” Lance confirms, as a picture of the battleship suddenly appears in the corner of Keith’s helmet screen. He gets them as close as he dares, which ends with Red being parked right beside the hull of the ship. He unbuckles himself and gets ready to open Red’s mouth, Lance coming up to stand near him. Keith takes a deep breath, letting it out shakily before hitting the button causing Red’s mouth to open. Using their booster packs, they maneuver themselves to the nearest door.

“Hey Pidge” Lance starts, “do you think you coul- WHAT THE HELL KEITH!”

Keith had summoned his bayard and was about to take a swing at the seam of the door before Lance grabs his arm angrily.

“What?” He barks, “We need to get in and this is the fastest way!”

“Yeah, and the fastest way to getting ourselves discovered Mullet brain!” Lance bites back exasperated. “Do you want the entire ship to know we’re stabbing a giant hole in the hull?”

Keith scowls at he sees Lance has a point, “Well what do you suggest then wise guy?” he asks, turning back to the door. Lance says nothing at first, studying the door like Keith. In the back of Keith’s head, he knows they’re wasting time, and is about to take another swing at the door before Lance shouts “There!” pointing to a small panel that Keith hadn’t noticed before.

“When Shiro and Pidge broke in Beta Traz, they got in through a side door like this one” Lance mentions, boosting closer to inspect the panel. “Shiro used his Galra arm to open the door”. Lance looks back and forth between Keith and the panel, “You’re part Galra, maybe it’ll work?”

Keith starts. “That’s…...actually not a bad idea.” He mutters.

Lance throws him a smirk, “And this is why I’m the brains of this team” he says haughtily, crossing his arms over his chest. Keith rolls his eyes as he goes to put his hand on the panel, “I thought you were the ‘Sharpshooter’” he remarks dryly. Lances surprised spluttering fills his comm as Keith hesitantly puts his hand on the panel.

He holds his breath. A second passes, and Keith is about to draw his hand away when abruptly there’s a small ‘beep’ and the door before them opens. Keith and Lance glance at each other before quickly flying through the door. As soon as they’re in the small airlock the doors shut behind them, and they drop to the floor in a crouch as the gravity is returned.

“Pidge, Hunk, we’re in,” Keith whispers over the comms. He waits for their reply, but all that comes back is static. A small knot of worry starts to form in his stomach as the silence goes on. He tries again, “Pidge? Hunk?”

“Hey, sorry guys”. Hunks whispered voice travels over the comms and both Keith and Lance let out a breath they hadn’t realized they were holding.

“They had a scrambler on board that I had to disable,” Pidge says softly, joining Hunk on the line.

Besides Keith, Lance murmurs “Why would they use a scrambler on board the ship?”. “Probably to keep people like us from communicating” Pidge answers with an arrogant smirk in their voice.  

“Glad you’re on our side Pidge’ Keith whispers back, amused. Lance nods in agreement, “Totally, have you seen Pidge pissed off?” Lance gives a visible shudder “They could find dirt on my baby sister Stella, and she is an actual angel.”

“I did tell you not to touch my stuff Lance” Pidge rebuts airily. Lance pouts with a ‘hmph!’ making Keith chuckle beside him. 

“Okay...” Hunk interrupts “…this should help you guys not get lost”. As he finishes another map appears on Keith’s helmet display, its clearer and shows the floor they’re currently on. “Thanks, guys” Keith whisper before slowly edging out into the hallway.

Keith peers from where they’re crouched and seeing that everything is clear starts to make his way down the corridor keeping close to the wall. Lance mirrors his stance on the opposite wall as they slowly make their way forward. As they skirt around corners and pass through rooms, Keith and Lance barely talk, only communicating to say the path is clear. Without Lance’s usual banter, it makes the pounding of Keith’s heart louder. Keith tries to keep track of the time; _How long has it been? 5 minutes? 10?_ Either way, they need to hurry. After what seems like an eternity, they finally reach the room marked on the map. Peering at it from around the corner where he and Lance are hiding, Keith frowns when he sees the room is being guarded by four Galra drones. Keith edges back into a crouch and faces Lance.

“Okay here’s the plan” He whispers, “I’ll charge the drones, drawing their attention and you stand and shoot them”. Keith goes to stand when Lance is grabbing him again.

“What do you mean you’re going to charge them?!” Lance whispers loudly “That’s a terrible idea, they’ll hit the alarm before you finish them off!”

“Guess you’ll have to be quick then” Keith replies wryly. At his declaration, Lance looks taken aback his grip loosening. Keith gets ready to charge again but pauses when he sees the unsure look on Lance's face. “Hey,” he says, his face softening. When Lance doesn’t look at him, he grabs his shoulder making the brunet's eyes snap to his face. Keith’s eyes search Lance face, gazing into those blue pools.

“I trust you.” Keith tells him.

A part of him is surprised when he finds he means it, there’s no irony in his words. He see’s Lance expression become even more shocked, mouth parting slightly in a small ‘o’. Keith gives him a smile that he hopes is encouraging, before standing and spinning abruptly. As he charges around the corner he hears Lance shout “Keith!” but already his bayard is drawn as he rushes the drone closest to him. He jumps as he swings his sword down to the first drone, the added momentum causing the blade to slice the thing clean in half. He rolls and lands in a crouch, getting ready to swing at the next drone but it’s already falling, a hole appearing in its chest. Keith smirks, not bothering to look behind him as he sprints to the drone that’s starting to raise its rifle. He comes up from his low sprint, driving his sword up into the center of the drone’s chest, the force of it making it fall backward. Just as they land, Keith looks up for the last drone, only to find the end of the rifle in his face. Keith can see the interior of the plasma rifle start to glow and for one terrifying second, his blood runs cold. Then there’s the familiar sound of Lance’s bayard firing and the drones head explodes in a show of metal and wires. Keith remains frozen for a second, his close call rendering him immobile. Then Lance is beside him, crouching down while his hand hovers unsure over him.

“Keith! You ok?” Lances voice cuts through Keith’s thoughts, and he can hear the worried voices of Pidge and Hunk echoing over the line. He mentally shakes himself and gets up slowly.

“Yeah” Keith replies, trying to keep his rattled state out of his voice. Seeing Lance's obviously relieved face, he throws him a grin “Told you I could trust you” He tells him, giving Lance a light punch on the shoulder. Lance stare's at him before letting out a shaky laugh while shaking his head in disbelief.

 “Man, you are one crazy Mullet” Lance huffs, kicking at the drone on the floor. He looks up at Keith again, and for a small moment, they grin at each other, both relieved to be alive. Then Lance looks away, gazing over to where a familiar panel is by the door. He looks back over to Keith “Two for two?” he says with a shrug. Keith walks over to the panel and like before puts his hand over it. It takes a second and then the doors whoosh open and Keith and Lance step cautiously inside.

The room is dimly lit, the only light coming from strange containers filled with a dark glowing purple substance sitting on shelves in the walls. It takes Keith a moment for his eyes to adjust. Once they do, they easily fall upon a familiar form strapped to a table in the center of the room. Keith feels his breath catch, and vaguely hears something clattering to the floor, but then he’s already running over to the table where Shiro is tied down. Looking down at him, Keith feels his anger building in his chest. Shiro is clothed in the tattered remnants of his flight suit that they normally wear under their armor. Keith can see new scars all over Shiro’s chest and arms, dark blue and purple bruises scattered everywhere across his torso making it look like Shiro is starting to turn Galran. Keith reaches out to touch him but hesitates when Shiro lets out a low groan.

“Shiro?” Keith chokes out. He places a hand lightly on Shiro’s exposed shoulder, only to withdraw it with Shiro’s face scrunches up in pain. Keith registers Lance coming up beside him. “Mierda…” Lance mutters lowly, taking in Shiro’s battered form. Lance reaches out a hand to place on Shiro’s leg, but as soon as he does, Shiro screams in agony, thrashing against the table. Lace withdraws his hand like it was burned muttering “Dios, Shiro… I’m sorry…”

Shiro’s scream is what drives Keith into action, he quickly turns away, going over to where he realizes he’s dropped his bayard. Keith strides back over to the table, Shiro giving out small pained whimpers while Lance stands in the corner. Activating the sword, Keith carefully cuts through the restraints that hold Shiro to the table. As he puts his bayard away he tries getting Shiro to wake up.

“Shiro? Shiro, can you hear me?” Keith asks, afraid to try and shake him awake after the reaction that Lance touching Shiro’s leg had.

Keith keeps talking to Shiro, while in the background he can hear Lance hailing the others and letting them know they found Shiro. As Pidge and Hunks relieved sobs come through the channel, Shiro’s eyes finally flutter open with a moan. Shiro’s gaze wanders for a moment, before landing on Keith’s face and focusing.

“K-Keith?” Shiro breaths and Keith has to fight back the urge to cry when he sees Shiro hasn’t forgotten him.

 “Y-yeah, Shiro” he manages to get out “It’s me. We're here to get you out”. At that, Shiro’s eyes widen in terror, “No”, he croaks, fingers twitching. “You…. You can’t be here…”

Keith frowns at that, but as he opens his mouth to ask, the ship's alarms start to go off.

The blaring alarms make Keith and Lance jump, and Keith whirls around to try and see what could have set it off but Pidge is already yelling in his ear.

“Son of a- Damnit Keith, Red’s cloaking program failed!”

At that, Keith curses under his breath before turning back to the table and hauling Shiro upright. Shiro goes pale, his eyes rolling back as he faints. Keith grunts as he takes all of Shiro’s weight before maneuvering Shiro off the table so he’s leaning against Keith.

“You’ll have to cover us” Keith yells over his shoulder at Lance, already making his way towards the door. Lance is already ahead of him, running forward to check the hallway.

“You might wanna hurry buddy!” Lance shouts as he starts to fire down the length of the hallway. Keith starts to move as fast as he can with Shiro’s unconscious form, dragging him out of the room. Lance stops firing as Keith makes it out into the hallway. Blasted drones litter the floor as the three of them pick their way around them as fast as they can. They only manage to get down two more hallways before a squad of drones appears in front of them. As the drones round the corner, Lance shoves Keith and Shiro into a side alcove, quickly dropping to a crouch and activating his shield. Keith doesn’t have time to respond before Lance is getting fired on, his face twisting into a grimace as he curls behind his shield.

“Lance!” Keith yells. He quickly sets Shiro against the wall before activating his own shield. He takes a quick breath and then he jumps out, keeping his shield up as he charges the drones. A sharp pain burst in Keith’s shoulder as he hits the first drone with his shield, but he ignores it, using his shield to shove the drone away cutting it down when he gains space. Sensing movement behind him, Keith spins and hits a Drone with a side-kick causing it to slam against the wall. Out of the corner of his eye, Keith sees a plasma gun being raised, making him put up his shield on reflex. He just gets it up in time, the shot meant for his torso glancing off his shield and into a drone encroaching on his right side. Keith turns to finish off the remaining drones but Lance beats him to it. There’s a quick series of gunshots and the rest of the drones collapse around him. Keith looks over his shoulder to where Lance is still crouched, the barrel of his bayard smoking slightly. Keith hurries back over to him, going over to where he left Shiro against the alcove wall.

“You ok?” Keith asks, quickly scanning him for obvious injury. Lance nods sharply “You?”

“Yeah, think I’m good” Keith responds, going over to the alcove and reaching to pick Shiro up. When he does though, pain flares bright and angry in his left shoulder making him drop Shiro with a hiss. Hearing him Lance scrambles over with a worried “Keith?”

Keith looks down at his left shoulder, only to see a small hole punching through his armor. As he stares at it, he’s suddenly conscious of the wet feeling trickling down his side inside his suit. “Keith, what’s wrong?” Lance starts, only to have his eyes widen at Keith’s shoulder, making him quietly let out an “oh mierda” under his breath. Lance must’ve left his line open because suddenly Pidge’s and Hunks voices are blasting in Keith’s ear.

“Lance? What’s wrong? Is Keith ok?”

Keith recognizes Pidge’s worried tone over the comms, shortly followed by Hunk asking, “Are you guys alright?”

“It’s nothing guys” Keith grits out, “Just a scratch”. At Lance’s furious look, he glares at him in an effort to keep him from telling the others.

“Just a scratch?” Pidge asks scathingly “It better be just a scratch you mother- “

“It’s fine Pidge,” Lance says quickly, cutting them off. “Just looks worse than it is,” he says in a joking tone even as he stares seriously at Keith. Keith mouths a ‘thank-you’ as Hunk cuts in with “What do you mean by that?”

Keith huffs a sigh “I got shot, it's fine. I can still walk”

“YOU GOT SHOT?!?” Hunk practically screeches.

Keith is about to make a rebuttal but Lance surprising cuts in. “Guys, we don’t have time for this” he addresses Pidge and Hunk angrily, “We need to get out of here now. How are your guys side of things?”.

“We managed to make it out ok” Pidge replies “had to fight off a few of those stupid drones, but we got back to Green”. At that Keith feels a wave a relief wash over him, _‘they got out’_.

“Where are you guys?” Hunks questions anxiously.

“We’re almost to the airlock we came in at” Keith informs him, going around to crouch beside Shiro. “We’ll be right behind you guys”.

“You better be” Pidge threatens, but Keith can hear the slight waver in their voice.

“Don’t worry Pidgeon”, Lance jokes “we’ll race you guys back to the castle!” Keith hears a small sniffle over the line, and before he can stop himself he throws in “See you guys back at home.”

There’s a pause over the line before Pidge says “Alright” in a small voice. Keith hears the slight static change as the line goes dead.

Even as his shoulder throbs, Keith bends down and slings Shiro over his good side, grimacing as reaches up with his left hand to get a better grip on Shiro’s arm.

“You still good?” Keith pants. Lance swallows hard, before nodding. Before Keith can walk, Lance is coming around to Shiro’s other side and slinging his arm around his shoulder. Keith opens his mouth to argue, but Lance interrupts him already walking.

“It’ll be faster this way” he huffs, as they carry Shiro down the hall. “You think you can get Red to come to our position?”.  Keith doesn’t know, but internally he reaches out to Red, trying to convey the urgency he’s feeling. Red answers back, her anger at Keith’s pain rumbling down their connection making Keith smile despite his throbbing shoulder. “She’s on her way” Keith manages to get out.

They’ve just about made it to the airlock they entered in before another squad of drones appears. “Oh come on!” Lance yells just before he activates his shield again and tugs Shiro against him. As Lance pulls Shiro over to one side of the hallway, Keith dives to the other side pulling his shield up. He grits his teeth as the drones’ shots hit his shield, making his arm vibrate in agony.

Come on Red! Keith thinks desperately.

Answering his thoughts, there’s a sudden ‘thump’ against the side of the ship, making everyone in the hallway scramble for balance. Just as Keith steadies himself, there’s another hit and before he can do anything, a section of the hallway in front of Lance is ripped open just as Reds head fills the gap. The drones are scattered for a moment at Red’s abrupt entry, giving Lance time to grab Shiro and throw him unceremoniously into Red’s jaws.

Turning back to see Keith on the opposite side of the hallway, Lance yells “Keith come on!” over the plasma rifles firing between them. Keith tries to edge out from his hiding spot, but the drones are making it impossible.

“Lance, go! Get Shiro out of here!” Keith screams at him, but Lance shakes his head, refusing to get in the lion.

“Come on you stupid mojol!” Lance yells back at him angrily, “What’s a few more drones?”

Keith manages to shoot Lance a quick glare before having to shrink back against the wall as the drones continue to fire at him. Keith pauses, getting ready to fling himself across the hallway when Lance appears out of nowhere beside him. Keith doesn’t have a chance to react as Lance hauls him to his feet, his shield raised, covering the both of them as Lance drags Keith across the hallway.

They almost make it across when, a plasma shot catches Lance in the leg, making him cry out and fall on his knee. As Lance falls, Keith keeps his shield up trying desperately to cover the both of them. Lance recovers quickly and brings his shield up next to Keith’s, giving them a few more inches of cover.

Keith looks from Lance's injured leg to where Red’s open maw is just out of reach. I wonder if we can make it.

But another quick look at Lance's leg shows that Lance would be able to make the short dash to freedom. And as Keith looks up to meet lances gaze, he can tell Lance has come to the same conclusion. Keith swears internally, desperately trying to think of a way to get them out of there.

“Ok… fuck…. Lance, maybe we can…”

Keith can’t seem to form a plan, and it’s getting harder to hold his shield up with his injured arm and as more drones start the fill the hallway. He’s still looking around for something to help them when Lance’s free hand suddenly comes up to grab the side of Keith’s helmet. Lance turns Keith’s face towards him, and as Keith stares into Lance’s blue eyes, he can feel himself stop breathing from the intensity of it.

Lance’s eyes are filled with fear and are slightly glassy from the pain in his leg. But they’re also warm and bright, staring at Keith with something like affection. Time seems to slow as they continue to hold eye contact, as Keith slowly drowns in blue pools. Then Lance is leaning closer, the visors of their helmets the only thing separating them. Keith wants to ask what Lance is playing at, hopes that he has a plan because there’s no way he’s letting Lance die.

Not when Lance had a family to go back too.

Not when he made Keith feel included with their stupid rivalry, made him feel like he had a family of his own.

Not when, even despite his sometimes-annoying personality, he remained so loyal to the team.

Not when he actually came up with good plans and kept Keith from killing himself via stupidity all the time.

_Not when Lance had taken his breath away that first day at the Garrison._

 

And in that second, Keith suddenly knew what he was feeling…. And what he had to do.

 

Too bad Lance realized it first.

 

For as Lance leaned towards him, making Keith’s breath catch in his throat, Keith sees Lance’s lips move. Saying something too soft for the comms to pick up, but close enough that Keith understands. And Keith is so distracted by it that he almost misses Lance whispering “It’s ok, and I’m sorry about this”. Then Keith’s brain catches up, and he stupidly opens his mouth to ask, _“sorry about what?”_

Then pain blooms in his shoulder as Lance punches him hard. It’s enough to make Keith see stars, so he doesn’t register Lance grabbing his wrists as he swings him around into Red’s mouth.

Keith hits the interior of Red with a crash, cracking his head against the floor. Dazed and hurt, Keith struggles to get up again, looking towards Lance.

He sees Lance still crouched in the middle of the corridor, his face contorted in pain after throwing Keith. Keith tries to call out to him, but his vision is starting to blur and his brain becoming sluggish from the pain and the blood loss. He must have said something though because Lance looks back over to him. Lance looks above Keith, shouting something, but as Keith loses his grip on consciousness he can’t make it out. Beneath him, Keith feels Red start to move. He tries to get his thoughts in order, tell her to stop, to _wait for Lance._

Keith tries to crawl toward him, to _get him back dammit._

 

As darkness creeps in on the edges of his sight, he sees Lance smile at him, like the one he gave him in the castle.

 

It’s the last thing Keith sees before passing out.

 

Lance’s smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! Now the real fun begins..... *evil cackle* 
> 
> Sorry for ending it like this, I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can, but it might not be up until after Thanksgiving (and yes I'm Canadian, so its this weekend for us). 
> 
> I know this was a very Keith centric chapter, and the next ones might as well, but I promise Lance will get his time to shine!  
> Also, I tried my best writing for Hunk and Pidge and I tried to stay as close to what I think their personalities are. But if you guys have any suggestions please feel free to let me know in the comments! It's my first time writing a fanfic like this so I'll take any helpful advice you guys have!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance wakes up and Keith wakes up, neither have a good time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Y'all! I am SO sorry for this late update. I really did mean to publish a chapter sooner, but there was Thanksgiving and then dealing with mid-terms and essays and just the general crazy-fest that is University. But, I have a small break in between exams so here I am! It is a shorter chapter just cause I'm low on time and inspiration right now but I promise to try and upload another chapter within the following week, following 2 weeks MAX. 
> 
> Thanks again to all you lovely people that left kudos and comments! It really helps keep me going and warms my cold shriveled heart. 
> 
> Just a quick heads up, this chapter is not very pleasant. There is definitely mention of torture and blood but it's not super graphic. If that makes you uncomfortable, you can stop reading at: "Lance thinks he can see Red, shooting away from him and for a moment he think’s that maybe she’ll be able to turn around and grab him" and skip ahead to Keith's POV at the end, starts with the line "He’s floating. That’s what it feels like." I'll put a short summary at the end of this chapter for Lance's POV. 
> 
> And that's it! Thank's again for reading and please let me know if you have any suggestions for improvements!

Lance would like to think that he’s lived his life without too many regrets.

  
Sure, there was the one time he regret eating all Miriana’s candy (but only because she caught him) when he was 9, and when he was 14 when he made a split second decision (‘yes I can totally make that gap’) to try jump across the space between apartment buildings with his hoverboard, which landed him with a broken nose and arm.

  
Even when he got accepted into the garrison, far away from his family, feeling guilty as they tried to help pay for his tuition. Even when he continued to fail the flight simulators and get yelled at by Inverson, he didn’t for a second regret it.

  
Even when he realized that his feelings for Keith would probably never be returned, he didn’t’ regret falling in love with the raven-haired boy. 

He felt it now though.

  
Amidst all the laser fire, his arm straining from keeping up the shield, his lower leg throbbing in pain, looking at Keith look around frantically, Lance feels that unfamiliar pang in his chest.

For half a second he regrets not telling Keith, the way he feels about him. But as Keith looks at Lance, a helpless sort of look on his face, Lance shoves all that aside and makes a decision he knows he wont regret.

  
Lance lets himself lean forward, the visor of his helmet hitting Keith’s. He’s still staring into Keith’s eyes, and he can see how for a moment Keith’s panicked look flickers with confusion. Time seems to slow, the aspects of Lance’s plan falling into place.

“I love you” Lance whispers.

  
And he knows that Keith couldn’t possibly have heard it, his voice too soft for the comms to pick it up, but Lance still sees Keith’s eyes widen slightly, his mouth dropping into an “O” of surprise.

  
“It’s ok, and sorry about this”

  
Keith blinks at that, and Lance can see him start to ask “about what?” but before Keith can catch up, Lance pulls his arm back and punches Keith as hard as he can in his wounded shoulder.

  
Keith immediately slumps and Lance’s hears his sharp gasp of pain in his ear. Before Keith’s shield can deactivate, Lance grabs him by the wrists and ignore the screaming pain in his leg, tosses him toward Red’s gaping maw.

  
Over the wave of pain radiating from his leg, Lance hears the ‘thump’ of Keith’s body landing inside Red. His arm is shaking as he tries to keep up his shield.

_“Go”_ he tries to think at Red, _“Go, get him out of here!”_

  
As Lance continues to withstand the battering of the droid firing at his shield, he swears he can sense Red, her indecision joining Blues worry.

“Lance!”

At Keith’s desperate croak, Lance looks over to Red. Keith is struggling to push himself up, his violet eyes are dazed as he looks at Lance. Lance ignores him, looking up to stare directly into Red’s mechanical glowing eyes. “Go Red! Get Keith and Shiro out of here!”

  
Lance feels a thread of warmth brush against his mind, Red conveying her reluctance at leaving him. Behind it, Lance can practically feel Blues roar of anguish at his choice.

  
“Go!” he screams one last time, bringing his other arm to help brace his shield as the droids firepower increases. Lance grinds his teeth against the pain and over the noise of the droids laser fire, he can hear the groaning of metal as Red starts to shift.

  
Lance hears a small whisper in his ear “No…”

  
Lance looks back at Keith. He’s managed to get an arm under him and he’s staring back at Lance with desperation in his eyes. For a moment, time freezes.

  
_“Looks like I got what I wanted,”_ Lance thinks wryly.

  
Keith holds his gaze, everything about him pleading for Lance to come back. Lance manages a small smile, hoping that it’s enough. Then Red maw is closing and there’s the scream of rendered metal and she’s gone.

  
Next thing Lance knows, is the familiar feeling of weightlessness as he’s sucked out of the hole where Red was. For a few terrifying seconds, he spins around widely, unable to do anything against the vacuum of space as the sound of his panicked breathing fills his helmet. Lance thinks he can see Red, shooting away from him and for a moment he think’s that maybe she’ll be able to turn around and grab him.

  
Pain suddenly explodes through his left thigh and he screams.

  
Through the haze of pain, Lance registers himself being pulled backward, an awful tugging sensation coming from his leg. Even as he continues to spin around Lance manages to look down at his leg. He bites back another scream when he sees the spike of a grappling hook piercing through his thigh. Abruptly, Lance is pulled back through the hole in the side of the ship, being reeled in as if he were a fish. The pain in his leg is too much then, his brain unable to override it anymore.

  
The last thing he sees is the black expanse of space, being framed against the edges of the hole.

 

Waking up sucks.

  
Waking up from a cat nap? Great! Waking up after getting 8 hours of sleep? Fantastic.   
Waking up after getting skewered through the leg?.... Not so much.

  
Lance’s senses come back to him slowly, like a slow trickle of water. The first thing he senses is a weird scraping sound and the sense that he’s moving. Belatedly, Lance realizes that he’s being dragged, the pain of his leg throbbing in the background. Eventually, Lance manages to crack open his eyes, taking a second to focus. Somehow Lance manages to lift his head, taking in his surroundings. He’s moving down a corridor. Lance manages to turn his head to either side and yep, he’s being dragged by a pair of Galran Droids who have a spring-trap grip under his arms. Still out of it, Lance lets his head hang, too tired to do much more. Before he lets his eyes fall shut again he notices a hasty bandage tied around his thigh, his armour discarded as blood begins saturating it. For some reason, the idea of a droid patching him up amuses Lance, and he lets loose a small chuckle before falling back into oblivion.

 

The next time he wakes isn’t nearly as pleasant. He must’ve not been out for very long as Lance blearily awakens to still being dragged, strung up between the two droids. Lance’s leg is still pounding and looking down at it, Lance sees the bandage is fully soaked with blood, a steady trail streaming from underneath it. Lance feels the urge to laugh again, cause, _wouldn’t that take the cake?_ Have the Galra try to bandage him only for him to die of blood loss anyway. He’s so light head he barely notices the droids coming to a stop briefly, only for a small ‘whoosh’ of a door opening to be heard before they’re moving again. They only walk a few more paces into the room before stopping. Recognizing that they’ve stopped, Lance struggles to lift his head, blinking as he tries to focus his fading vision.

  
“-was minimal. Although I am pleased to report the mission wasn’t a complete failure”. A voice reports in front of Lance.  
Lance tries to focus on the person in front of him. From where he hangs limply in between the droids, he can make out a robed figure of a Druid who appears to be talking with someone on a holo-communicator, the light from it outlining their silhouette.

  
“I’m am glad to hear that… for your sake Trivake…”

  
At the familiar raspy voice, Lance wakes the hell up. He must’ve made a noise because the figure in front of him tilts their head as if they’ve only just noticed him. The figure smoothly steps aside and Lance finds himself facing the hooded face of Haggar. He can’t see her eyes as they are obscured by the cloak she wears, but he knows that they’ve focused on him by the small sneer that curls the edges of her mouth.

  
“I see.” Haggar rasps, and it takes all that Lance has not to flinch. He’s seen first hand what she’s capable of, battling her once was enough. Not wanting for Haggar to see how terrified he is, Lance forces himself to give her a roguish grin. “Sup Witch Lady!” He manages to get out, silently thankful his voice doesn’t break. “Long time no see! Although I gotta say, what night cream you using? Cause they are NOT working for you.” Lance grins as Haggar’s sneer turns into a deep frown. Feeling a spark of confidence Lance continues “Awe, come on! I know the truth hurts but sti-”

  
He didn’t see the other Druid move, but suddenly there’s a clawed hand wrapping around his throat cutting off his air.

  
“It is unwise to insult my master in my presence paladin,” the druid hisses into Lance's ear. Even as his lungs start to burn, Lance’s eyes narrow.

  
“Fuck… you…” he gasps. The hand around his neck tightens by a fracture making Lance jerk as he tries to wrench his arms free from the droids holding him.

  
“I believe that’s enough Trivake” comes a smooth voice.

  
Lance can’t tell because of the mask covering the Druids face, but he’s certain their eye’s narrow at him one last time before he’s quickly released. As Lance gasps for air, he hears footsteps and raising his head again to glare at Trivake, a tall figure steps out of the shadows to stand beside him. The new figure is… well, Lance would be lying if he thought they weren’t beautiful. He has long silver hair reaching past his shoulders, contrasting with the lilac colour of his skin. ‘So Galra then’ Lance thinks. His face, while handsome, is cold; sharp jaw, high pointed cheekbones, and saber-like pointed ears rising away from his face. Seeing Lance assessing him, the man raises an eyebrow ever so slightly, a small smirk lifting a corner of his mouth. At his expression, Lance swallows heavily. The Galra’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes, it makes him appear almost predatory. The Galra holds Lance’s gaze a moment longer before turning to face Haggar still on the communicator's screen. Seeing him, Haggar scowls.

  
“Lotor” she hisses “what are you doing here?” The man - Lotor – bows deeply towards the witch.

  
“Apologies Honerva” he replies smoothly “But did I not tell you that I would be paying this place a little visit?” he continues to smile as he straightens.

  
“No, you did not.” Haggar grits out, and even with the hood covering most of her face, it’s easy to see that she’s annoyed.

  
“No?” Lotor’s face briefly appearing shocked before slipping back into his cool expression from before. “Must have slipped my mind” he continues coolly. The two regard each other in silence, then as if mentally dismissing him, Haggar focuses her attention back on Lance. Seeing her turn to him again, Lance holds his chin up, refusing to appear as weak as he feels.

  
“It is regretful that the Champion escaped” Haggar starts, and at that Lance can’t help but flash a confident sneer while at the same time Trivake seems to flinch.

  
“However…” Haggar pauses, only to give Lance the creepiest smile he’s ever seen. “The blue paladins were always much easier to manipulate anyway” she finishes.

  
At that, Lance tries to keep his trademark sneer on his face, but it’s impossible to ignore the trickle of terror that shoots down his spine at Haggar’s words.

  
“I expect to be kept updated on your progress Trivake” Haggar says tersely, “you have proven very useful to the empire thus far, so I will leave this project in your hands”. At her words, Trivake straightens. “Of course High Priestess” they respond, inclining their head towards her.

  
“Do no make the same mistakes that you made with the Champion.” Haggar says darkly “there will be no time for second chances”.

  
Not giving Trivake a chance to reply, Haggar abruptly cuts the connection and the hologram flicks off. As soon as she’s gone, Trivake’s head whips around to Lance again. Still stubbornly refusing to let his fear show, Lance continues to grin even as Trivake stalks towards him.

  
“Oooh looks like someone is in trouble!” Lance sing-songs. As Trivake gets closer he goes on, “Oh what, is someone grumpy cause mom is mad?”

  
Trivake doesn’t respond, merely stopping right in front of Lance. With that stupid mask in place, Lance can’t get a proper read on the alien and it unnerves him. Normally, Lance is a pro when it comes to reading people, it was always necessary for when he needed to de-escalate the fights that Pidge would get into with Inverson or when he needed to calm Keith down when he lost his temper. At the thought of Keith, Lance’s heart twinges.  
 _‘Please let him be ok’_ he thinks. If Keith is ok, then Lance can get through whatever this weird druid throws at him.

  
“I know I got a pretty face and all” Lance drawls undeterred, “but you take the concept of a starring contest to a whoooole other level”.

  
He can sense Trivake tense in front of him, and just when he thinks the druid is about to strangle him again, Lotor interferes.

  
“I think I like this one” Lotor purrs, “He certainly has the mouth on him, doesn’t he?”. Lotor’s eyes flick down towards Lance’s mouth, making Lance repress a shudder.

  
“As much fun as it would be seeing him try your patience Trivake” Lotor muses “I think he would be much more use to us alive, hmm?”

  
At Lotor’s words, Lance is once again reminded that, _‘yep, blood loss it still a thing’_ , and feels his initial adrenaline rush start to fail him.

  
As he tries to stay conscious, Trivake’s stances changes slightly and Lance swears he can feel the Druid smiling down at him from underneath the mask. He snaps his fingers, making the droids holding him suddenly let go. Lance crashes onto the floor, unable to supress the small groan of pain that escapes him. Pain blooms in his chest as Trivake kicks his chest to roll him over. Feeling even more dizzy, Lance attempts to glare up at the druid, even as they loom over him.

  
“I look forward to our sessions blue paladin”. It’s all the warning Lance gets before Trivake rips off the bandage covering his thigh and slams a glowing hand down onto the wound.

  
Lance screams.

 

A horrible grating sound wrenching out of him, one that he didn’t think he was capable of making. The pain is horrible, burning. A strange smell filling the air. It stretches on forever, Lance’s entire being latching on to the sensation in his leg. Just when he thinks his voice is going to give out, the hand is withdrawn, and the pain stops. Lance can’t think, can barely breathe, the residual pain still coursing through him. Everything sounds muffled, like being underwater but Lance can make out the authoritative tone of Trivake giving orders to someone. His eyes can’t seem to focus as a pair of strong hands pick him up and begin carrying him. As he’s being carried away, Lance hears Trivake ordering someone to activate “Kuro”.

  
Lance barely manages to wonder what the hell “Kuro” is before his eyes roll back and he faints.

 

 

 

He’s floating. That’s what it feels like.

  
_“Ok… fuck…. Lance maybe we can…”_

  
Fragments. Bit’s and pieces of words and images.

  
A face leaning in close to his, lips moving mouthing words he can’t hear, but can understand.

  
_“It’s ok, and I’m sorry about this”._

  
Wait… why was Lance sorry? Did they have another fight?

  
_He’s flying, landing hard. His arm hurts, fuck it hurts. He’s looking up, Red’s mouth is closing in slow motion. Lance is smiling at him, why is smiling?! Get in the damn cockpit!_

  
_He’s struggling, limbs failing to work with him. Lance is still smiling that small sad smile. Terror is clutching his chest._

  
_“Lance!”_

  
_Red’s mouth is still closing, his eyesight is dimming._

 

_"LANCE!”_

  
Suddenly there’s a ‘whoosh’ sound and He’s falling, someone catching him with a small grunt. It takes a moment, but Keith’s eyes flutter open, his mind reeling.

  
“Hey there buddy”

  
Keith registers that he’s being held in someone’s arms and manages to pull himself up enough to look at the person in the face. Hunk’s concerned face swims into view, inches from his own.

  
“H-hunk?” Keith croaks, his throat feeling dry and scratchy. At Keith’s response, Hunk’s expression melts into one of relief.

  
“Yep, it’s me. How are you feeling?” Hunk murmurs softly. Keith slowly get’s his feet under him, Hunk still holding onto his arm as he guides him to sit on the steps in front of the pods.

  
“I feel… a bit weird” Keith admits, he’s never actually been in the cryopod before. Although Lance had mentioned how he felt like his head was _“stuffed with cotton”_ after he got out. He shakes his head trying to clear it, “everything feels fuzzy”.

  
At that, Hunk snorts. “Yeah, that’s to be expected I guess,” he says with a shrug “Ancient Alien tech and all that”. Hunk gives another small laugh and Keith smiles with him, he goes to ask how long he was out for when…

  
“Hey, you’re awake!”

  
Keith looks up just in time to see a relieved Pidge running towards him, Hunk stepping away just as Pidge pounces on Keith, wrapping their arms around him like a boa constrictor. As Keith recovers from the hug attach, he realizes that Pidge is babbling and shaking as they hug him.

  
“- so sorry Keith! I wanted to go back, but there was so many of them and we knew you were hurt and we didn’t want Shiro to get captured again and -”

  
Bewildered at Pidges rambling, Keith quickly pries them off holding them at arm's length. “Pidge, what are you talking about?” he interrupts.

  
At that, Pidge stutters to a stop, eyes looking wet. Even Hunk steps in from the side to gaze at Keith with concern. “What do you mean what am I talking about?!” Pidge practically yells, Hunk quickly putting a hand on their shoulder in an attempt to calm them.

  
“Hey, it’s ok. He just woke up remember?” Hunk placates Pidge. “He probably still has cryo-brain”.

  
Keith opens his mouth to ask what the hell that’s supposed to mean, only for Allura and Coran stride into the room. Seeing that Keith is awake Allura breaks into a smile, but as she gets closer, Keith can tell it’s strained.

  
“Keith! It’s good to see you awake again. How are you feeling?” Allura inquires politely. Again, Keith goes to respond only for Pidge to pipe up for him.

  
“He doesn’t remember what happened!” Pidge shouts, detangling themselves from Keith. At that, Allura's expression saddens and it makes something turn in Keith’s gut.

  
“If you gave me a few seconds maybe I could remember!” he shouts, uneasy with the tension that is clearly filling the room. “It’s just… all scrambled right now”. He finishes with a huff, shoulders deflating.

  
“Do you remember what we were doing before Keith?” Coran prompts, giving him an encouraging expression. Keith closes his eyes and tries to sort through the jumble of memories that is his brain.

  
“I remember… planning for the mission…” He starts, brows furrowing as he recalls more. “Lance and I, we got onto the ship…” at a sudden memory, Keith’s eyes fly open.

  
“Shiro!” He exclaims, starting to rise as his head scans wildly over the remaining cryopods. He feels a solid hand clamping down on his shoulder, urging him to sit back down. “It’s ok Keith” Hunk assures him, “Shiro actually got out of the pods just now, that’s why I was the only one in here to catch you.”

  
“Yes, Shiro is just resting in his room right now” Coran pipes up, “He was still unconscious when he fell out, but he’s all healed up now”. At that, Keith slumps with relief, letting his head hang with a shaky breath.

  
“So, we did it then? We got Shiro back?” he says shakily, still not really believing it. When no one responds, Keith looks up. Hunk is still gripping his shoulder, albeit tighter now. Coran’s usual cheerful demeanor seems to wilt and Pidge is resolutely staring at their shoes. Only Allura meets his eye, but now her smile from earlier is gone, a sorrowful expression taking its place.

  
“Keith…” She begins. At everyone’s reaction, it finally hits Keith. That uneasy feeling, the realization at how quiet it is, at Pidge fighting back tears.

  
“Where’s Lance” He growls lowly, leaning forward in earnest. Allura purses her lips, and Keith is astonished to see the princess struggling to speak.

  
_“Where’s. Lance”._

  
This time it comes out more of a hiss, a feeling of dread swelling in Keith’s chest. He scans Allura’s eyes, desperately hoping to see something other than the guilt that resides in them. Allura holds his gaze a second longer before she too looks away.

  
“I’m so sorry Keith…” She trails off.

  
Keith sits back as suddenly everything hits him. Finding Shiro, the escape, getting hit in the arm, Lance being a stupid selfless idiot running across the hallway to get to him.

  
_“It’s ok, and I’m sorry about this”._

  
Keith remembers. And slowly he starts thinking _‘No. No, no, no nononoNO’_ , and it’s only when Hunk and Pidge hug him, that he realizes he’s speaking aloud. Then even Coran and Allura are hugging him and it really sinks in, that Lance is _gone_ , and it’s _all Keith’s fault_.

  
Someone is muttering and distantly it registers in Keith’s head that it’s him, muttering “I’m sorry, _I’m sorry._ ” Under his breath over and over again. Everyone starts whispering him empty assurances, that _‘it’s ok’_ and _‘not your fault’_ and _‘couldn’t have known’_ but they do nothing to ease the guilt in his chest, it doesn’t help the way his heart aches as he remembers those silent words Lance had said to him, how he didn’t get to say them back.

  
They stay like that for a while, until Keith stops muttering feeling numb inside. He vaguely recalls the group letting go, standing up on his own and walking out of the room. He doesn’t care if anyone follows him, just lets his feet carrying him away from the cryopods.

  
Keith doesn’t remember getting back to his room. Just finds himself standing in the center of his sparse room.

  
It’s not until Keith has crawled into bed, still fully clothed, that he lets his tears fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Lance is shot in the leg with a grappling hook and then is taken to see one of Haggars druids and Lotor, said Druid proceeds to 'heal' Lance by cauterizing the wound. 
> 
> Yeah... like I said, not pleasant. And it's only going to go downhill from here folks! This is definitely one of those cases where it gets worse before it get's better... much, much worse.
> 
> I know I said no clone Shiro, but I miiight have to retract that statement as I thought of a plot idea that I think works really well with what I have planned for Lance (sorry buddy). Get ready for a wild ride folks.
> 
> Happy Halloween!
> 
> tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/flulamela


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith tries to come to terms that Lance is gone, Trivake has some fun and Lance does not have a good time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *emerges from the pit that is university*  
> Hey everyone! I am so sorry for this massive delay! I just got caught up with school and writing papers and also, I just suck at trying to keep to a schedule >_<  
> But now I'm finally done exams (cries) and I'm back home for the holidays! So I'm going to try my best to get as many chapters out as I can while I have all this time on my hands.  
> Just as a quick note, things are going to start to take a darker turn from now on, what with the torture and mental manipulation and self-degrading.... so yeah. If things start to get super graphic I'll let you guys know but for this chapter, it isn't too intense.
> 
> And thanks again for all you awesome people leaving kudos and comments! Not only do they make me smile, they remind me to actually get my butt in gear and write stuff. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

After the initial disturbance from Voltrons attack, the hallways of the battleship are quiet. The only sounds that resonate are the footsteps of the droids and the mutterings of Galra soldiers that stalk up and down the maze of corridors and the whispering hum of machinery.

“Can’t believe we let those Voltron brats get away!”

“Oh, like you would’ve been able to stop them Xylani”

“Shuddap Merkant. I’m just sayin, what’s the point of advertising the Champion if we got nothin to show for it?”

“Well… we got the Blue one, didn’t we? And besides, you know Lotor he’s… well…. He Lotor.”

“Hmph. I just think that maybe we should – “

As the pair of sentries turn the corner, they immediately quiet seeing the robbed figure gliding towards them. They remain silent as the druid ignores them and continues down the corridor. They don’t dare to move or breath until the figure disappears from sight. Xylani lets out a shaky breath as they watch the druid disappear. “Man, I don’t care who you are” He mutters as the two resume their route, “I’d hate to be on the receiving end of that crazy priest…”

 

Trivake smiles as they hear the guard’s conversation. ‘Oh if only they knew’ they think gleefully, still revelling in the plans they have prepared for the Blue Paladin. They had taken great pleasure in cauterizing the boy’s leg, especially after with how they had talked to their high priestess. When the boy had fallen unconscious, the druid had managed to get a quick quintessence scan. Casting their own dark energy to surround the boy, they poked and prodded until they got what they needed. Feeling it had shocked them… just before they started to grin deeply under their mask. What they found was both unusual and absolutely delightful. As expected, the boy had a version of blue quintessence; the easiest to manipulate but hardest to control. What was surprising was the amount in the boy’s body. Even the Champion, one of the strongest test subjects they’d ever had, didn’t have near the levels the Blue Paladin had. And to top it off… the Blue Paladins quintessence looked to have a high resonance factor, something rare indeed. So rare in fact that the last time Trivake had heard of such a thing, is when they were still an apprentice training under Priestess Haggar…

Still smiling to themselves, Trivake entered the room where they were keeping the Paladin on the lower decks. The Paladin was restrained in the middle of the room, body still limp. Before walking to the console off to the side, Trivake stood in front of the boy, observing him silently.

“The plans I have for you small one…” They whisper to the unconscious Paladin. “You may be an even greater achievement that the Champion”.

With that, Trivake glides over to the control console. Pressing a series of buttons, a holo-screen appears in front of them. Ignoring the startled Galra that pops up as the connection goes through Trivake barks out, “Well. Is it ready?”.

The Galra on the screen manages to stammer out a “yes sir” before Trivake snaps at the solider to bring it up before abruptly cutting the connection. Glancing at the Paladin again, Trivake allows themselves to grin.

“I think it’s high time we got started”.

 

Keith doesn’t know how long he stays curled up on his bed, his mind replaying his last memory of Lance over and over again. He stopped crying a while ago, but his eyes still feel scratchy and his chest still hurts. There’s a plate full of space goop on the floor next to his bed, Keith vaguely remembering Hunk bringing it in. In the back of his mind, Red continues to purr, trying to comfort him in her own way. He barely registers it as he flits through memories…

_Lance get’s thrown across the training deck yet again as the droid he’s fighting gains the upper hand. Keith storms in seeing the droid advance on Lance._

_“End simulation!”_

_Lance groans as Keith storms up to him. “What the hell were you thinking you, idiot?” He shouts down at him, “Are you trying to break something?!”_

_Lance glares up at him as he slowly gets to his feet. “Yes Mullet, I’m deliberately trying to get my ass handed to me” he huffs. Standing straight, Lance stretches with another pained groaned. Keith is almost distracted by the slip of skin that shows when Lance's shirt rides up. Almost…_

_“Well,” Keith continues, internally shaking himself, “why are you practicing hand to hand at such a high level anyway? You’re our sharpshooter right? Isn’t that always what you say?”_

_Lance looks embarrassed for a second and Keith wonders if his face was that red when he initially stormed in. “Ah, well you see…’ Lance rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, “I was thinking that I might not always have my bayard on me or I might lose my position on the battlefield sooo… I should practice my close combat skills? And I guess I’m already behind so might as well learn on the go.”_

_Keith blinks in surprise. “That’s…. actually a good idea”. Lance’s face scrunches up in a frown (that’s NOT cute) at Keith’s tone. “Well gee, try to sound more shocked would you?”_

_Keith rolls his eye and punches Lance lightly in the arm, causing him to yelp. “Shut-up, I mean it. It is a good idea. But starting at this level? Really?” Keith asks, jerking a thumb over to the sleeping droid._

_Lance looks away, muttering something under his breath._

_“What?”_

_Lance sighs before repeating louder, “I said, that’s the level you can do…”_

_Keith goes to smack Lance again, but he takes in how tense Lance seems. Like he’s waiting to be made fun of. Keith finds himself scowling at the look on Lance's face._

_“Fair enough…” he finds himself starting, “But I’ve also had years of taekwondo and kickboxing under my belt. Plus, I had to go through the whole trials of Marmora thing”. Keith puts a hand on Lance’s shoulder, causing the taller boy to look at him._

_“If you really want to learn, I could… show you some basics… if you want”._

_At Keith’s offer, Lance’s face brightens. And for a second Keith is stunned by the smile that Lance gives him._

_“You sure? If – if you want I could teach you how to aim”._

_“Nah, I can throw my knife just fine” Keith smirks at him. Lance splutters, going off on how ‘that is so not the same thing Keith!’ and ‘throwing is very different from shooting’._

_As they walk out of the training room together, Lance waving his hands around animatedly, Keith has a small feeling of confusion as an unfamiliar warmth fills his chest. Shaking his head at himself, he pushes it down before walking away with Lance._

 

Coming back to himself, Keith curses the Keith in his memories. He should’ve known, should’ve done something to let Lance know, to help save him. He was the reckless one, not Lance. He was the expendable one, not Lance.

“It’s all my fault Red” he whispers into the empty room. Red’s purr switches to a growl for a second, her disagreement washing over him before resuming her comforting rumble.

“I should’ve- I shouldn’t have charged into that fight with those droids” he argues. “Maybe, maybe if I hadn’t injured myself-”

Red’s purring stops for a moment, then comes back even louder and Keith can feel her mind try to wrap around his like she’s trying to physically curl around him. It just makes Keith curl tighter into himself, clutching his blanket closer to his chest. He can feel his lip start to wobble again and he fights the urge to cry as Red continues to shower him with thoughts of warmth and consolation. As he continues to lie there, there’s a quiet knock on his door.

“Keith?...”

At the sound of his voice, Keith contemplates whether or not he should let Shiro in. He just knows that Shiro wants to talk about it, but Keith just doesn’t feel like it. As if reading his mind Shiro’s muffled response comes through the door, “We don’t need to talk Keith, I just want to make sure you’re ok”.

Keith huffs a wet laugh at that. Last he checked, he was far from ok. Even though there’s a part of him just want’s to be left alone in his misery, there’s a larger part (the part of him that was used to going to Shiro back in the Garrison) that makes him slowly uncurl and swing his feet off the bed. Leaving the blanket, Keith shuffles over to the door to open it.

He blinks against the sudden bright light before focusing on Shiro in front of him. He see’s Shiro’s eyes fill with sympathy as he takes in Keith’s haggard appearance.

“Oh Keith…”

Keith looks down at his feet but before he can say anything, he suddenly finds himself in a bone-crushing hug.

“I’m sorry Keith” Shiro murmurs in his ear. He feels Shiro tighten his grip slightly, “I’m so sorry Keith” he chokes out.

Keith suddenly finds the tears he was holding back early start to spill out again. He reaches up to hug Shiro back, feeling like he’s scrambling to hold onto something.

“Shiro, i-it’s all m-my fault”

Shiro just shushes him and starts to pet his hair. That just makes Keith want to cry even harder; he remembers how Shiro hugged him when he finally broke down and told him the story about his dad. How he always felt like he was constantly being abandoned, waiting for the other shoe to drop. How he always held people at arm's length, found it easier to be a quiet asshole than to actually get to know people.

After a while though, he calms down enough that Shiro steps back. Looking up at him, Keith manages a wobbly smile, “Thanks”.

Shiro gives him a small smile, “No worries kiddo, did you eat anything yet?”

Keith shakes his head. “No, I mean, Hunk brought some food earlier but… I didn’t really feel hungry”.

“Ok,” Shiro says, “you want to come grab something from the kitchen?”

The thought of having to face the others… it’s a bit daunting to Keith right now. He shakes his head at Shiro.

“Thanks but… I… I just don’t think…”

Shiro nods sadly in understanding. “I get it”, he says softly. “How about I bring you something later ok?”

Keith gives Shiro a relieved smile. “Yeah, that'd be great.”

Shiro gives him one last sympathetic look before turning back down the hallway. As he walks away, Keith calls out to him.

“Hey Shiro?”

Shiro turns, a questioning look on his face, “yeah?”

Keith shifts awkwardly, suddenly shy, before responding.

“It’s good to have you back. I’m- I’m not sure if I said it before”.

Shiro’s face softens, “Thanks Keith”. Keith gives him another small smile before shuffling back into his room. As the door closes behind him, he crawls back into his bed. He wasn’t lying when he told Shiro that he was feeling better, sure his chest still hurts as guilt continues to claw at him, but compared to the tsunami of emotions he was swirling in earlier, it's much better.

Red prods at him and Keith gets the sense of the Lion trying to rub up against him. He smiles in the dark and thinks about scratching the big cat under the chin as a way of thanks. Red gives him a happy rumble, continuing to curl against his mind. Keith takes some comfort in her presence now, silently apologizing for his behaviour earlier. Red simply huffs, feigning annoyance.

Keith feels his eyes start to close. Emotionally drained, all he wants to do now is take a nap. Just as he starts to settle though, there’s a sudden spike in Red’s emotions. He feels her jerk up in surprise, suddenly alert.

“Red?...”

Keith sends a questioning thought down their bond, but Red ignores him. Keith frowns and sends the same questioning thought, stronger this time, but it dissipates as Red suddenly shuts him out. Now concerned, Keith sits up in bed. He tries to talk to Red again but is met with a solid wall. He frowns and tries getting through to her again when suddenly a mechanical roar echoes through the Castle.

It sounds like Blue.

Keith is already jumping out of bed and running out the door before he realizes what he’s doing. Running past the kitchens he can hear the others shouting after him. Sprinting towards the hangar, Keith slams against the mental wall trying to connect with Red again. He can feel tendrils of her agitation coming through, and Keith feels his heart clench with worry. Getting closer to the hanger, another roar sounds out, making Keith's ears ring. He feels Red’s wall loosen for a moment as she becomes distracted. With all the subtly of a bull in a china shop, Keith smashes through the mental barrier.

He stumbles into the hanger as he’s suddenly overcome with a mental assault from Red.

Her sister is roaring in pain, She is doing her best to calm her down. Sister doesn’t seem to listen, she is too consumed with the agony and terror coming from her bright-eyed paladin. She must calm her down, must keep her own cub out so he doesn’t kno-

Keith can pinpoint the exact moment Red senses him. He does nothing as she mentally roars at him, blasting him back to his own side of their bond. Distantly, he hears the others run in behind him.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Language Pidge.”

“Sorry, Allura what’s going on? Why are the lions flipping out?”

“… I’m not sure, something seems to be upsetting the Blue Lion, the others are trying to comfort her.”

“Keith?...”

Hearing his name causes Keith to look up. The others are gathered around, looming over him where he had fallen to his knees. Shiro is kneeling in front of him with a worried look. Keith feels his mouth go dry, and he has to swallow before speaking.

“I- I think it’s Lance”

A mixture of worry, fear and shock crosses everyone’s faces. They all jump as Blue roars again, it makes them all cover their ears from how loud it is. When she stops, Hunk looks over to Keith, fear practically radiating from his body language.

“Why do you say it’s Lance?’ Hunk asks quietly.

Keith swallows heavily, “I was, talking with Red before…” he starts. “And She just suddenly… shut me out… I managed to get through though when I ran in here.”

When Keith doesn’t continue right away, Allura walks over to him to kneel beside Shiro

“Keith? What happened?”

Keith clenches his hands as he looks past Allura to lock eyes with the Blue lion in front of him. Even if he can’t feel anything coming from the bond with Red, Keith swears that Blue’s mechanical eyes are filled with sorrow.

“Blue was freaking out cause she could feel Lance… he… I think he was in a lot of pain…”

Keith hears Hunk hiss in a breath, and out of the corner of his eye, he registers Pidge covering their mouth with their hands. In front of him, Allura and Shiro share a concerned look before standing up. Keith hears Allura and Shiro start to plan in quiet and rushed voices, but he tunes them out. Only one thought runs through his head.

_“What the hell is happening to Lance?”_

 

Lance is having a great dream.

He knows it’s a dream because right now he’s back in Cuba in his old room, early sunlight filtering in through the blinds of his window. Lance always found it weird how dreams could be so specific in their little details. The dust motes winking in and out of the sunbeams, with the smell of coffee wafting up from downstairs, the familiar feel of another person in his bed…

Wait what?...

Lance rolls over in his bed. Across from him is a familiar pale face with obsidian hair, sticking out in all sorts of angles against his pillows.

Well now he knows for sure it’s a dream.

Dream or not, Lance still finds himself reaching out to gently brush Keith’s bangs out of his face. As he does, Keith’s face scrunches up a bit, like the way he does whenever he gets annoyed with Lance. Lance just smiles to himself, Keith would probably hate it if Lance ever told him how cute his nose looked whenever he got frustrated. He continues to caress Keith’s face, just moving his index finger over the sharp planes of Keith’s jaw. As Dream-Keith stirs, Lance feels a familiar ache in his chest along with the familiar knowledge of knowing he’ll never have this.

Across from him, Dream-Keith opens his eyes. He blinks lazily for a moment until he seems to focus on Lance. At seeing Lance, Dream-Keith gives him a tired but satisfied smile.

“Hey”

“…Hey”

Dream-Keith yawns and rolls over on his back to stretch, the action reminding Lance of a cat so much he has to fight the urge to snort. Done stretching, Dream-Keith rolls back over and snuggles in closer to Lance’s side with a happy sigh. Lance let's him, automatically bringing an arm around to curl around Keith’s shoulders. They stay like that for a moment, with Keith curled into Lance and Lance absentmindedly stroking his hand over Keith’s side.

“Hmmm… this is nice…” Dream-Keith mummers sleepily. Lance swallows.

“Yeah… it is…”

If this was real, maybe Keith would’ve noticed how pained Lance sounded. Instead, he just mutters something about ‘should sleep in all the time’ into Lance’s neck. Lance just continues to stroke Keith’s side. This may be a dream, but it was a nice dream. Guess he could enjoy it until he had to wake up.

Laying there, Lance could feel himself start to fall back into a deeper sleep, the edges of his room start to fade away… He could feel Dream-Keith move his hand down to touch Lance’s side…

Pain, bright and sharp suddenly courses through his body. Lance shoots upright, gasping. He looks over to where Keith was lying beside him. Instead of the barely-awake version from a moment ago, Keith now looks straight at Lance, violet-grey eyes cold and malicious.

“Wake up”

Pain shoots through Lance's side again. He looks down and sees his side where Keith is digging claws into his ribs. He desperately looks up at Keith again, only to find Keith’s beautiful face filled with an emotionless sneer.

“Wake. UP.”

Keith pulls back his hand and jabs it even harder than before into Lances side. As pain radiates up his chest, Lance screams.

 

With a gasp of pain, Lance jerks awake, disorientated. He can sense cold metal against his back and feels the thrum of electric restraints against his wrists and ankles.

“Hello Blue Paladin”.

Head a bit cloudy from pain, Lance manages to locate where the voice comes from. Swinging his head over to the left, it takes Lance a second to focus his vision on a cloaked figure standing by a panel in the corner. Seeing the druid in the dim purple light brings back the memories from when Lance was last awake. His heart continues to beat rapidly, but not as much as before.

He knows where he is. He has a pretty good idea of what’s going to happen.

The Druid – ‘Treeku? Trivago?’ – approaches Lance. Lance has to clench his fists in order to fight the urge of pulling his head away as the Druid stands barely a foot from his face. Instead, he does his best to glare at the mask in front of him, his blurred face reflecting off the polished surface. They glare at one another until Lance can’t stand the silence anymore.

“You know, there’s this thing called ‘personal space’” he says dryly, “you Galra should really look into-”

His snarky comment is cut off as the Druid simply raises their hand and shoot a bolt of electricity into his side.

He jerks and lets out a startled gasp. _‘Guess I know what woke me up now’_.

While Lance recovers his breath again, the Druid slowly starts to circle him, head cocked to one side in obvious curiosity.

‘All you need is the dog filter’ Lance thinks, causing him to laugh under his breath. At his huffed chuckle, the Druid stops his movements.

“Is something amusing?”

Lance can’t help but roll his eyes. Humour always was his best defence.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how much you remind me of a dog”.

Lance can’t see the expression the Druid makes, but he can make the almost imperceptible tightening of the shoulders under the robes. He prepares himself for the hit, for the sudden movement from the druid. Instead, the druid just walks silently over to the panel again. Lance can feel a few cold beads of sweat start forming on his back. When he made the decision to stay behind, he was fully prepared for the classic torture routine. To be questioned about Voltron, to be put through the meat grinder. Hell, he was expecting to lose a limb or two like Shiro.

As the Druid continues to type away at the panel, Lance feels himself grow nervous in the silence. Trying not to let it get to him, Lance observes the room around him.

It’s hard to see in the dim lighting, the otherworldly purple glow making everything look eerie. As far as Lance can tell, it’s a pretty simple layout. A control panel in the corner, a door across from him, and off to the side just out of the corner of his eye, he can see a small table of some kind. There doesn’t seem to be any cameras as he peers into the corners of the room. Must not think that they’re necessary on this big Galra warship. And if there aren’t any cameras in this room, it could make it easier to escape. Give him a small head start maybe? Now all he has do is-

“Do you know what makes blue quintessence so interesting?” Lance tries not to jump when the Druid suddenly speaks up.

“Uh… no?...” He answers cautiously. The druid seems to nod to themselves before gliding over to Lance again. They have their hands clasped behind their back and one again stare at him. Lance gets the unnerving feeling of being salivated over.

“Blue quintessence is one of the most adaptable versions of it anywhere” The druid continues, “people with blue quintessence usually have higher resonance factors as well, it helps them to connect with other types of quintessence.”

Lance merely cocks an unimpressed eyebrow. “Whatever you say priest weirdo”, he drawls. “But for the record, I have no idea what you’re talking about”.

At that, the druid huffs a bitter laugh. “No.,” they say simply “I don’t suppose you do”.

The druid moves so fast Lance doesn’t register it. Suddenly taloned hands are digging into his temples and Lance struggles to get away, fear rapidly rising.

“What it means” the Druid hisses in Lance's ear, “is that Blue quintessence is the easiest to manipulate”.

Lance barely has time to try and decipher the druid’s words, before his head feels likes it exploding. A roar fills his ears and he realizes distantly that’s it’s coming from him. All he can feel is daggers of pain shooting through his skull.

It feels like his insides are being laid bare, splinters of images flashing behind his eyelids

 

_He’s back in Cuba_

_The beaches, his Mama cooking at the stove, finding stars with the small telescope his Tio’s got him,_

_School, Garrison, Meeting Hunk, Pidge, Keith in the hallways, Simulators, Glaring at the back of Keith’s head, Gym, calls home_

_Keith stepping out of the simulator, Late night studying with Hunk, Keith storming out of the principles office_

_The news, Pilots missing, Keith no longer in the hallways, the desert, Keith’s shack_

_Blue’s cockpit, Keith, diving on Coran, the explosion, shooting Sendak_

_Keith, Flying, Keith, Voltron, Keith, Keith –_

Lance realizes the druid is sifting through his memories. He can feel invisible tendrils slithering around in his brain, caressing his thoughts almost lovingly. He feel’s the druid dig deeper into his head, weaving through layers of memories. It feels like claws are scratching the inside of his skull. He tries to fight the druid, tries to hold onto his thoughts, tries to imagine a door being put up against the invader. It’s like trying to stop a tidal wave, the Druid barreling through the flimsy defences Lance tries to put up. As he desperately tries to defend himself, Lance can feel the sick curiosity pouring off the druid in waves.

_‘What makes him tick…. Must be something useful… what do we have here?...”_

He can sense the Druid getting closer somehow, barrelling towards the core of himself. He can hear himself screaming in the background, can feel the way his throat is becoming raw.

Desperately Lance feels himself reaching out to Blue, clawing for some kind of lifeline to help hold himself together. He can barely feel her over the distance, can sense her distant shock and joy at hearing from him. He claws at their bond again, trying to hide from the pain that fills his entire being. He can feel himself begging for it to stop, for help and he’s not sure if it’s out loud or not. As She registers his pain, Lance can sense Blue’s horror, the way how she's trying to surge through his side of the bond. But she’s too far away to do anything for him.

Suddenly, Lance feels the Druid pause. Against his will, the Druid latches onto a memory, dragging it up from the depths of his consciousness. Lance can only stand by and watch as the Druid takes intense satisfaction in watching the memory play out.

 

_He’s pacing in his room in the castle. Hunk is sitting patiently on his bed as Lance rambles on._

_“It’s just… and then he… and Shiro! It’s not fair!”_

_Hunk gives a wry smile, “Wanna try that sentence again buddy?”_

_Lance just huffs and crosses his arms. “I’m trying to say that it’s not fair that Shiro is always going off on the rest of us, and yet with Keith, it’s like he’s some sort of, sort of! - ”_

_“The golden child?” Hunk offer helpfully._

_“Yes!” Lance shouts before flopping on to the bed beside Hunk._

_“I mean, I know he’s perfect and way out of my league but still….” He mutters into the mattress. When he gives a sigh, Hunk pats him sympathetically on the back._

_“I’m sure Shiro isn’t playing favourites Lance” Hunk says with a sigh, “He’s just being hard on us cause he wants us to improve right?”_

_Lance frowns. "Then why is it like nothing I do is ever good enough…” he asks softly, his voice losing the anger from earlier. At his tone, Hunk looks down at him kindly._

_“You are improving Lance, it just takes time is all. I mean, when we first got here I was barely a pilot! Now I’m flying a giant alien cat robot”. Lance snorts at that, remembering all the times Hunk would be sick during their simulator runs. “Yeah, and you’ve only thrown up in her like… 4 times so far!”_

_Hunk gives Lance a slap when he starts laughing, “I’ll have you know that last time was not entirely my fault…” Lance rolls over to give Hunk a pointed stare. Hunk looks away embarrassed before muttering, “S’not my fault a giant alien beetle decided to interrupt the ‘thanks for saving our lives’ banquet… I had already eaten…”_

_Lance starts laughing again, which just makes Hunk roll his eyes and push Lance off the bed with a sqwak._

_“My point is,” Hunk says as Lance’s laughter dies down, “We’re all improving in our own way, some of us faster than others”._

_Lance lays there on the floor, silently thinking about Hunk’s words. What he doesn’t say is the other feelings he has like it doesn’t matter how hard he tries, he’ll just never be good enough, how’s he questioning his role on the team._

_Instead, he smiles up at Hunk, saying ‘thanks’ and moves on._

 

It’s like being pulled from underwater. Suddenly Lance is back in the room with the Druid standing in front of him. His chest is heaving and he stomps down the urge to be sick. As he tries to come back to himself the Druid calmly walks over to the door.

“Wh-what the hell w-was that” he gasps, trying to glare at the Druid, but he feels like his face is filled more with fear than anger. The druid pauses and tilts their head at him again and Lance shivers at how now the movement seems much more predatory.

“Why it is only the beginning young Paladin” the Druids purrs before pressing a button that causes the door in front of him to open.

Lance stares at the person filling the doorway in horror.

_‘There’s no way…. I remember throwing him….’_

Cold yellow eyes bore into Lance, as lips curl into an animalistic snarl. Lance can only stare as he lets a terrified whisper fall past his lips.

“Shiro?...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops... did I leave it on a cliffhanger? *cackles evilly* I thought about going forward with this scene but then I thought it might be better if I just start a whole new chapter instead! So for next time, Lance is NOT going to be having a good time (sorry my beautiful boy).  
> It's funny, when I started this I told myself to keep the story universe as simple as possible.... yeah no.  
> Things change as I have ALLLL the plans for Lance..... See you next time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance continues to not have a good time, Trivake continues to be a dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Y'all! Sorry about the long delay for posting a chapter, gotta love that university life amirite?...  
> Anyway, sorry again that this chapter is kinda short. Haven't had a lot of time or motivation to write currently as writer's block will forever be the bane of my existence. Plus, (though I know this is a poor excuse) this story is becoming bigger than I originally intended! So I am trying to make sure all my plot holes are filled and my background makes sense cause I am a bitter bitter perfectionist.  
> AnYwAy.... enjoy this chapter!

Lance felt a wave of cold wash over him as he stared into the yellow eyes of the person in front of him. The Shiro in front of him growled and snarled at him, trying to lunge at him before being pulled back suddenly. The Druid’s shoulders seemed to huff in annoyance before he waved his hands indicating to the wall to the right of Lance.

  
“Hurry up” They hissed, and suddenly Lance noticed the two galra guards standing behind Shiro holding onto thick metal bars. Lance’s eyes followed the bars to where they ended, attached to an obsidian black collar wrapped around Shiro’s neck. He swallowed hard.

  
With Shi- _‘No. That thing’_ , still snarling, the two guards struggle to maneuver the tall man over to the wall that the Druid had indicated to. As they did, the Druid returned to the panel before giving the two guards a short nod. Simultaneously, the guards hit a switch at the ends of the poles.

  
The poles must have been held by some kind of magnet because as soon as the guards hit the switch, they dropped with a clang. Immediately, the…Thing, lunged towards Lance at the same time the Druids hands flew up. The effect was instantaneous, the Not-Shiro being slammed back against the wall by some invisible force. The Not-Shiro roared with rage, clawed hands scratching at the collar around his neck. Out of the corner of his eye, Lance saw the Druid smirk before reaching down with one hand to hit a series of buttons. Sections of the wall on either side of Not-Shiro opened before glowing purple wires slithered out and attached to the collar. Satisfied, the Druid lowered their hands and the force holding Not-Shiro to the wall vanished. Lance couldn’t hold back a flinch as the thing that was Shiro tried to lunge for him again, only to be stopped by the cables coming out from the wall. The Druid cast a silent look over to the guards who immediately stiffened before scuttling out of the room with the poles. All the while Lance just stared in horror at the Shiro in front of him. As the yellow-eyed Shiro continued to snap at him, Lance felt a cold trickle of fear pool in his gut.

  
‘ _What if we grabbed the wrong Shiro? What if the real one is still on board? What if this was the real Shiro? Turned into some kind of-_ ’

  
As if sensing his thoughts, the Druid responded “No, this isn’t your leader. Unfortunately, your team was successful in regaining the Champion”.

  
Lance could practically see the sneer in the Druid's voice. Still, at his admission, Lance felt a small part of him relax. As long as the rest of the team were still safe… that’s all that mattered to him now.

  
“No” the Druid continued, walking over to where the Not-Shiro was chained to the wall, “this is simply a mere imitation of Voltrons precious leader…” As the Druid let the statement hang in the air, it clicked together.

  
A Clone. This was a _clone_.

  
As Lance realized it, cold rage rushed through him. “What the hell did you do to Shiro,” he asks quietly, voice turning to ice.

 

The Druid merely shrugs, “Only what was necessary. What, didn’t you enjoy my improvements?”

  
Lance jerks against his restraints, wanting nothing more than to beat the Druids mask in with his rifle. Shiro had gone through enough the first time he’d been captured, now that it had happened a second time… Lance scowled at the Druid, fear forgotten for a moment as rage filled him.

  
The Druid paused and regarded Lance for a moment, the clone still snarling in the background. Lance held the Druid’s gaze until they nodded to themselves and turn away to face the clone. If they weren’t wearing the mask, Lance would be willing to bet that the Druid was smiling.

  
“Yes, it is unfortunate that my little pet project got away”, the Druid slowly walked over to the side, just out of reach of the clone’s curled claws and snapping fangs. The clone’s eyes tracked the movement, and if Lance didn’t know any better, he would say fear filled his eyes.

  
“I suppose I still have this, even if it is a cheap imitation” the Druid lilted, gesturing to the clone. “I was trying to replicate my initial project you see, since the first biomechanical grafting and conditioning went so well, why not try to create an army of them?”

  
An image of a multitude of snarling Shiro’s filled Lance’s head, and he shudders before he can think about it further. The Druid huffs, almost in a regretful way Lance thinks, “But instead, I was left with this empty shell, a shadow of magnificence” They sigh.

  
“You’re sick” Lance snarls, straining against his restraints slightly. The Druid actually laughs at that, a grating, whispering sound, like they had forgotten what it was supposed to sound like.

  
“Sick you say? I prefer the term visionary.”

  
The Druid reaches into their robe and withdraws a vial of golden liquid. At that, the Shiro-Clone starts to whimper, thrashing at his restraints to get away. The Druid merely produces a needle from thin air and starts to draw out some of the golden liquid, still talking to Lance.

  
“At first I was frustrated, but then I realized even if only a shell, it still has it’s uses. Being just a copy, it has no true original quintessence and so, no resonance factor. A blank slate if you will.”

  
Lance’s head is spinning, he doesn’t know what the Druid is talking about, but going from the looks on the clones face… it’s nothing good. The Druid finishes with the vial, putting it away again. By now, the Shiro-Clone has stopped thrashing and is now cowering, trying to press himself into the wall.

  
“What are you going to do to him?” Lance demands, uneasiness pulling at his gut. Instead of answering, the Druid lunges forward, faster than Lance can see. They wrap an arm around the clone’s neck, forcing his head forward. The Shiro-Clone starts to struggle again, a mixture of growls and whines coming from its mouth. It’s too surreal for Lance; if not for the claws or the yellow eyes, it’s like Shiro is there in front of him. By forcing his head forward, the Druid exposes the clone’s neck and even from where he’s restrained, Lance can see a small metal disk embedded in the flesh above the spine. Lance can only look on in horror as the needle slowly descends and the clone’s thrashing gets more desperate, it frantic whining growing louder.

  
Ignoring the clone’s choked cries, the Druid pushes the needle into the disk, ejecting the contents of the vial. Job done, the Druid steps back.

  
The effect is almost instantaneous. The clone's body goes completely rigid, eyes bulging out of its head. Wearing Shiro’s face, his skin… it unnerves Lance, and as much as he reminds himself that it isn’t actually Shiro, it’s horrific to watch.

  
Just as suddenly as they had stiffened, the Clone’s body starts to spasm, head thrown back in a silent scream for a moment before a sound rips past its lips.  
The sound that leaves the Clone’s mouth can only be described as one of pure agony. As they scream and thrash, it’s skin seems to shimmer, tiny wisps of golden light floating off of it.

  
As more golden light gathers on the clone’s skin, the druid curls their fingers, beckoning the light. The light shifts, and starts to float towards the druid. They pull out a different vial, and almost reverently, start to manipulate the light into it. For once, Lance doesn’t know what to say, what to think. He’s never seen anything like this, not with all the planets they’ve been to.

Lance had refused to afraid before, wanting to be strong for his team. Now? His entire body is encased in ice as terror slithers its way up his spine.

  
Eventually, the light stops pouring off the Clone. The Druid snaps the vial shut and Clone sags again, head lolling in between its shoulders. Now that the screaming has stopped, Lance finds the room eerily quiet, his rapid heartbeat unnaturally loud in his ears. Then, the cables shifted and blearily, the Clone looked up.

  
Lance sucked in a breath. Before, the Clone’s eyes had been pure yellow, the eyes of a Galra. Now, the entire sclera was a reflective black, the only colour being a dark green reptilian pupil.

  
“እ-እንዴት ነህ?”

  
The language coming out if the Clones mouth is a strange series of hisses and clicks, nothing like the deep growls from before. Lance feels his face furrow in shocked confusion; the clone-Shiro was weird enough, but this… it’s like it has a whole new personality. Before, the Clone had been aggressive and snarling. Now…

The poor creature tries to sink to the floor in an obvious attempt to curl up and become smaller. And while the language is strange to hear, it's apparent that it's pleading. It keeps saying the same series of clicks and hisses over and over again, and soon tears form in its dark eyes.

  
Even if Lance didn’t have any siblings, he known body language enough that the clone in front of him is acting like a scared, small child.

  
The Druid interrupts Lance’s scrambled thoughts. “Quintessence manipulation is a funny thing. You can’t create it from scratch, at least not complex forms that is”.  
They saunter over to where the clone is half crouched by the wall, unable to fully sink down because of the cables holding its arms. They reach out a clawed hand, gently caressing the Clone’s cheek even as it sobs and cringes away from them.

  
“You can, however, remove and replace quintessence” the Druid continues to stroke the Clones face, making the clone screw their eyes shut in fear.  
“It’s tricky, but not impossible. And if done right, you can keep most of the characteristic of the original”.

  
Lance, whose mind has been whirling ever since they first brought the clone in, latches onto the Druid's words. It takes him a minute but then it clicks.

  
“You- your… replacing peoples minds?...” Lance stares at Shiro-clone in horror. The weird switch makes sense now. The clone isn’t just acting like a different person… _it is a different person._

  
The Druid makes a non-committal hum, “I suppose so yes. If you were to oversimplify it that is”.

  
Lance tries to think, to make sense of it all. _If the Druids can switch people into different bodies…_ Lance fixes his stare on the Druids mask.

  
“What are you going to do with me?” Lance is proud his voice doesn’t break.

  
The Druid stills. Looks back over at Lance. Once again, Lance curses the stupid mask the thing wears. Their intense stare down is eventually broken though, clone still whimpering, silent tears streaming down its face, a puddle that growing underneath it. The Druid notice giving an annoyed hiss before back-handing the clone across the face. The clone yelps in pain, trying to make itself smaller as it attempts to stifle its cries. Stepping back, the Druid shakes their head before turning to look at Lance again. When they speak, Lance doesn’t need to see the smile that grows underneath the mask.

  
“Oh, Blue Paladin. I am going to do absolutely everything to you.”

  
Leaving those words hanging in the air, the Druid steps back over to the control panel and calls for some sentries. Lance barely pays attention to the droids that come in and drag the screaming clone out of the room. He tries to use his last few seconds to prepare himself for what’s coming. Once the clone is dragged out, heavy silence settles over the two of them. The Druid steps out from behind the control panel and saunters up to Lance, every step reverberating in the small room. As the Druid draws up in front of him, Lance sucks in a small breath. The Druid slowly raises their hands, claws settling around Lance's skull.

  
The last thing Lance thinks is:

 

_“Well, Shit"._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Trivake... you are inspired by every evil British villain I know...  
> Again sorry for the short chapter, but reading week is coming up (as well as my awesome friend Mekacoeur!) so I am hoping to get some stuff written down and figured out.  
> Also FYI, in case people are wondering, THIS WILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING. However... it's my firm belief that we grow by going through shit. I've experienced it in my own life and seen it in the lives of others. Yes, pain builds character. Is it full of sunshine and rainbows and supposed to be romantic? HELL NAW. This fic will be an expression of that. SO sadly, we have only just pulled out of 'uh-oh' station on the way to 'angst-ville'. But I can promise that our boys will be happy eventually. Because just like I believe we all gotta go through stuff, I also believe that we all get to our happy endings, even if we don't realize it.  
> So yeah, that's hows it's gonna go! As always, comments and kudos are much appreciated and keep me sane through bio mid-terms... :'(  
> Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trivake continues forward with their plan, Lance continues to not have a fun time, angsty Keith makes and appearance and so does Lotor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Crawls out of the hole that is University*  
> Hello everyone! Sorry for such a late update, I've just had the busiest month of my life! March was the month from hell this year, and as much as I love school, do we really need to have a midterm every Friday for the entire month of March?! (Can you even call it a midterm when you have 3 IN ONE CLASS???)  
> But now school is wrapping up, I'm pretty much done all my assignments and now all that's left is finals! *cries*  
> I'll try to get a few more chapters out, but they might be on the shorter side. But for now, enjoy!  
> Thanks again for all the awesome comments and kudos, they keep me going!

Agony.

That’s the only word that comes to mind if Lance had to describe the last few hours. Though he’s not actually sure how long it’s been, it’s kinda hard to keep track of time when your brain is being clawed apart.

After the clone had been removed from the room Lance was in, the Druid had gone to town. Their clawed fingers had barely touched Lance’s temple before pain ripped through his skull. An aborted scream managed to make its way past his lips before Lance could clench his jaw shut in pain. Just like before, the Druid seemed to be sifting through his memories. As old sights flashed before Lance’s eyes, he got the strange sensation that the Druid was browsing, like his mind was a book and he was trying to find the index to everything about him. Lance tried to fight it again by calling out to Blue, but their connection was weaker than before. It was like a wall of glass had gone up between them, Blue was sending flashes of emotions – distress, helplessness, cold fury – but that was it.

Before the Druid had been searching aimlessly, just strolling around Lance’s brain. But after finding that memory of his conversation with Hunk… now they were searching purposefully.

Lance could feel himself straining off the upright table he was strapped to, every muscle tense in pain as memories continued to flash across his eyelids. First, it was just random things, old childhood memories and weird moments in his life. The Druid seemed to brush those aside, disinterested.

Lance could sense the Druid brushing up against darker parts of his mind, could practically hear them purr once they found it.

“ _No… nonono…”_

He wasn’t sure if it was just in his head or if he was actually doing it, but Lance thrashed when the Druid got closer to that part of him. He tried again to imagine a wall or a locked door – anything. It lasted for a good three seconds before the Druid's eerie laughter filled his head as they ripped away Lance’s defences.

It was like the opening of Pandora’s box. All the memories and emotions he had shoved away over the years started to play out again behind his eyes. Lance tried opening his eyes but it nothing happened, he wasn’t even sure if they were open or not. Lance tried to get out of the Druids grip, tried to yank his memories back and stuff them back into the box they were supposed to be in. The Druid just sank their claws in deeper, holding him still and forcing him to watch.

Images flew by like before, but now they were slower, lingered longer as the Druid revelled in them.

_“You can’t play with us … We don’t want beanpole on our team!... “_

_“Ugh.. that weirdo McClain tried asking me out again…. Honestly, so out of his league…”_

_“I’m disappointed Lance…. Thought you were smarter than this…. If only you applied yourself…”_

_“Did you hear?... Apparently, McClain is Bi… Makes sense….. already a freak...”_

_“I’m surprised he graduated…”_

_“Not enough money….”_

_“Dumb Cargo Pilot…”_

_“… Never be good as….”_

_“Stop being such a goofball!”_

_“…Work harder Lance…”_

_“..Disappointed…”_

Just when Lance didn’t think he could take it anymore, the Druid paused, pulling up a memory and letting it play out, analyzing it.

_Lance is sitting in the school’s councillor’s office, pamphlets spread out across the desk. The councillor is frowning down at the pamphlet that Lance just handed him. Reading the cover of it, he slowly puts it back down on the desk._

_It reads “Galaxy Garrison”._

_Lance fidgets in his seat as he explains himself, his hands constantly twisting._

_“I just figured, I really like space ya know? And I mean, flying too I guess. And the Garrison seems like the best place to go, even if I don’t get into the intro space program I could at least try the- ”._

_His counsellor, Mr. Leeson, cuts him off. “I’m sorry Lance –  but… but are you sure?”_

_At the interruption, Lance deflates a bit, shoulders tensing._

_“I- I mean, yeah. Like I said, I’m really into- ”._

_“No, I’m not doubting your passion Lance,” Mr. Leeson says with a small smile. “But I’m concerned about… well about your grades Lance.”_

_At that, Lance can feel his smile falter, a familiar feeling of dark embarrassment welling up inside._

_“Um, yeah… But I’m hoping that I can pull them up by the end of this year! And, well I’m going to get my friend Hunk to tutor me and- ”_

_Mr. Leeson shakes his head. “Lance. I’m sure you want to get into this program, but the fact is… I’m worried that even if you do get in if you’ll be able to make it.”_

_Lance feels his stomach drop. He casts his eyes down to his lap._

_“…oh…”_

_Mr. Leeson sighs, “I’m just saying Lance, is this program the one you really want to take? You’ve shown that you’re passionate about it, but well, passion can only get you so far buddy.” He leans back in his chair._

_“And of course, there is the issue of expenses…”_

_Lance winces at that. He knows that it’s no secret that his family isn’t exactly rolling in dough, but still…_

_“I just want you to consider this carefully Lance. Maybe you should look at other more… local schools.”_

_Lance can’t meet Mr. Leeson’s eyes, so he just nods, heart hardening just a little bit more._

Just as quickly as it started, it stops. Lance feels the Druid’s claws pull away from his temples as they step back, just in time too. Lance barely has time to pull in a gasping breath before he pitches forward and vomits from the pounding pain in his skull. His throat is raw, _“unconscious screaming and vomit don’t mix I guess”_.

Everything hurts. Lance would laugh at the cliché, but it’s true. Every muscle is on fire after being tense for so long, his head feeling like it's about to crack open any second. He tries to lift his head when he hears the Druid footsteps and the door opening, but the movement makes his head spin as he lets out a low groan.

“I’m finished here, take the paladin to cell block B”.

More footsteps echoed through the room. Lance is barely clinging to consciousness as the Druid powers off the restraints and the guards catch him roughly under his arms. As he’s being dragged out the door, Lance hears the Druid call out to him.

“Rest up Blue Paladin, I’m already looking forward to our next session”.

Lance isn’t sure if the Druid sees it, but he raises his middle finger up just before his eye’s roll back into his head.

 

 

When Lance wakes up, he is _(“Shocker!”)_ in a cell. It’s with a long groan and some half-muttered curse words that Lance manages to sit up. His head still hurts but at least its been dialled back from “someone is splitting it open with an axe”, to “slightly manageable migraine on steroids”. As he tries to will the pain in his head into submission, he can’t help but notice that he’s no longer wearing his armour. Instead, he’s wearing the typical prison garb that he’s seen before when Voltron had rescued prisoners.

Managing to look around his little cell, Lance wants to laugh, it’s so typically Galra. Grey non-distinct metal walls with a slight outline of a door on one, the only light being the same sickening purple light along the seams of the ceiling.

From the little lighting he has, Lance sees a tray of food by the door. He goes to stand but –

_“Okaay. We’re gonna try that again when the room decides to stop spinning…”_

Instead, Lance crawls over though even that limited movement making him want to spew his guts again. He pulls the tray closer and can see what appears to be the Galra version of food goo alongside some bread or cracker-like thing and a cup of water looks like water. He almost takes a bite before pausing, frowning down at the pile of goo.

He sniffs at it experimentally. It doesn’t smell like anything really and now that he thinks about it, Lance doubts he would be able to smell something like drugs or poison. Lance is tempted to sniff the water as well, but he figures that it’d be equally as impossible to detect anything. Staring down at the food, Lance wonders what the odds are that they would do something to tamper with his food. The Druid seemed keen enough to keep him alive if nothing else.

Lance shudders. If he’s honest, most of the past events are a blur. The pain in his skull the only indicator that he just got recked by space Xavier.

_“I’m looking forward to our next session”…_

If the Druid, (Tree-something? Whatever) is planning on a repeat performance, then Lance figures it’s unlikely anything is in the food. Shrugging, he starts shovelling food goo into his mouth; _“might as well keep my strength up”._

The goo is bland and tasteless, not that Lance is surprised, considering he is a prisoner here. As he sits and eats, Lance tries to sort through his scrambled memories. He remembers getting captured and the whole meeting with Haggar and the other guy? Lotor? Then the Druid (Trivake! That’s it.) was oh so helpful in cauterizing his leg. Lance pauses. Now that he thinks about it, though his head is killing him, his leg doesn’t seem to be hurting that much. Looking down, there’s no bandage on his thigh. Hoping that the Galra aren’t weird pervs and that there aren’t any cameras in here, Lance pulls his pants-legging thing down, just far enough to expose the top of his thigh. For a wound that was supposedly cauterized, the skin looks less like the bad half of two-face and more like newly healed scar tissue. Fingers skimming over it, Lance frowns. Last he checked, the Galra didn’t have the kind of healing technology like the castle did and he was sure as hell that he hadn’t been thrown in a healing pod.

_“Whatever, just means that I’m valuable enough to be taken care of”._ It’s not exactly a comforting thought, but hey, he’ll take what he can get.

Now that he has some food in his system, the pain in his head is slightly more bearable. Even so, Lance can’t find much more energy than to crawl back over to the corner and curl up with his knees against his chest. Sitting there, he runs through what else he knows. _“Well”,_ he thinks dryly, _“the druid definitely had the whole ‘I’m a creepy villain, fear me!’ vibe going for them… then there’s that… thing…”_

Lance grips his knees tighter at the memory of the clone. The fact that the Galra were able to make a clone of Shiro…. What does that mean for him? Will they do that him? Lance’s chest grows tight. Use his cells to make a bunch of Galra Lances? What if… the team tries to rescue him, and they get the wrong Lance? What if they get a clone Lance and don’t believe that Lance is the real Lance?

It’s the sound of his rapid breathing that manages to bring Lance out of it. Realizing that he’s well on the way to freaking out, he tries to get back in control. Lance focuses on his breathing, on the rest of his senses. The way he can feel the cold metal floor under him, hear the whir of machines on the ship, the faint smell of sweat in the air. Letting out one last breath, Lance manages to calm down. He’s being ridiculous. The team would totally know that he was the real Lance.

Right?

Even though he’s just calmed down, Lance can’t ignore that familiar sense of anxiety in the back of his brain. As much as he doesn’t want to think about it, the memories that the druid made him re-live don’t exactly help. Lance thought he had gotten over a lot of those moments, he always tried not to think about them in the past but now… His nails dig into his legs, small pricks of pain keeping him from falling into that hole again.

_“Just don’t think about, just don’t think about it, just don’t think about it, happy, happy, happy…”_

It’s a few more minutes before Lance can relax again, his old memories safely tucked away back into the box in the back of his brain where they belong. Lance decides to ignore the small niggling voice that whispers “but for how long?”

Resolutely ignoring the small anxious voices and the memories of his time with the druid, Lance can’t help but let his mind drift towards Keith. Lance replays their last moments over in his mind, Keith was awake when Lance had thrown him into Red, so it’s a safe bet that he was able to make it the castle. And even if he passed out, Lance knows that Red would sooner fly into a black hole than let Keith die. He wonders if Keith is back with Shiro by now. If they’re cuddling it up in Lance’s absence.

Lance can’t help but feel his heart throb painfully even as he wants to smack himself.

_“That’s what I wanted right? It’s what I promised him, that I’d get Shiro back. At least this way, Keith doesn’t have a self-sacrificing idiot for a boyfriend”._

Lance huffs at his own joke, lips curling for a second before settling back into a frown. _Not like I can do anything about it now... just hope he's ok._

By now, his eyes are growing heavy, exhaustion setting in now that he’s had a moment of peace and some food. Still groaning with pain, Lance manages to shuffle back onto his side, trying to curl up against the corner so he can try and sleep. He doesn’t think that he’ll get much sleep on the cold metal floor, but as he closes his eyes, Lance will take what he can get.

 

 

The only warning Lance gets is the slight whooshing of the cell door before he’s rudely awakened by a boot to the ribs. One second, dozing in perfect oblivion. The next, he’s gasping for air as he’s hauled up onto his feet.

If he had the breath, Lance would curse at the two guards that drag him out of his room, but as it is, he focuses on getting his breath back while glaring at them.

The guards are silent as they lead him down the hallways of the ship. Lance debates whether or not it’s worth it trying to pester them in the hopes of getting some info. But considering the _wonderful_ wake-up call he just had, he figures its better to try and memorize the route he’s taking. Keeping his eye’s peeled, Lance looks for a door, signs directing to the escapes pods, hell – even an airlock would be good at this point. He can’t help the ball of disappointment that sits in his gut when all he sees are endless stretches of hallways, the only signs indecipherable with his limited Galra.

Too soon, the Guards are stopping in front of a door and the ball in Lance’s stomach only grows. Even as his heart starts to pick up, Lance keeps his face impassive.

The door slides open and sure enough, the Druid – Trivake, Lance reminds himself – is already there. Trivake doesn’t even glance up, simply snaps his fingers and points to the upright table Lance had been strapped to yesterday. As the guards roughly shove him into the room, Lance briefly considered trying to make a break for it. The guard on his left has a plasma pistol strapped to their leg, easily within Lance’s reach. All it would take would be a well-placed hit, disorientate the guard, grab the gun and…

Before Lance can try anything, electricity arcs across his back, making him arch in pain with a surprised gasp.

His legs buckle, and while he’s dazed, the guards get him onto the table. His back now on fire, Lance doesn’t pay attention as Trivake activates the straps that hold him in place and waves the guards out of the room.

Even though he’s been strapped down, Trivake doesn’t show any signs of getting started with whatever he’s planned for today, _tonight?_ So Lance is able to take a few precious moments to collect himself again.

While Trivake does his thing, Lance subconsciously tries to reach out for Blue again, eyes slipping shut. He knows he had felt her yesterday, if only briefly. He searches for the bond they have, reaching as far as he can. But he can’t feel anything, not even the faint glimmer he had during last time. At that, Lance tries his best to quell the quickly rising fear in his chest. Just because he can’t sense the bond doesn’t mean that Blue can’t feel him… right?

Lance doesn’t get time to dwell on it since his face is rudely grabbed by a clawed hand. Deliberately opening his eyes slowly, Lance stares coldly into the eyes _“eye holes?”_   that peer into his own.

“Sleep well, Paladin?” Trivake asks, fake concern laced in his voice. Lance just sneers.

“Great, thanks for asking” he replies breezily. “Gotta say, quality service you got here. Totally five stars on yelp man, you should really get into the whole B ‘n’ B thing- ”

He get’s cut off as Trivake’s taloned fingers shift down to Lance's throat where he squeezes threateningly.

“Careful Paladin” they warn lowly. “I wouldn’t want my little project to lose their tongue so soon into our sessions”.

That shut’s him up. Lance clenches his jaw and glares daggers while the Druid moves back a step. The Druid looks away briefly as they search their robes for a minute, pulling out a small vial of glowing purple liquid. At the sight of the vial, Lance immediately tenses, remembering the last time the Druid had started pulling out vials and needles.

Instead of advancing towards Lance though, the Druid just holds the vial up to the light, regarding it curiously for a moment before he speaks.

“Quintessence is quite remarkable” they start. “In it’s most basic form, it’s an incredibly powerful energy source.” They lower the vial and look back at Lance. Lane swallows nervously.

“So powerful, it can be used to power our ships, our weapons” Trivake waves their hand as they talk. “Almost anything really. But when manipulated…”

Lance decides he really doesn’t like the body language of the druid. He fucking swears he can see their eyes glinting with pleasure underneath the stupid mask. He’s grateful when the Druid turns their head again as Trivake continues on.

“There are different types you see” They drone on. “Some can only be used for certain things, only able to be pure raw energy. Others can be much more useful.”

Lance narrows his eyes, vaguely remembering something the druid had said to him before. “Like this blue quintessences then?”

Again, it’s hard to tell, but the druid seems almost gleeful when Lance says that. “Yes!” They hiss excitedly. “Out of all the different types, blue quintessence is easily the most malleable. Surely you’ve felt it?” Trivake cocks their head as they ask. Lance shrugs, as well as he can, being strapped to a table.

“Couldn’t tell you” he says dryly. “Voltron isn’t really into torturing or manipulating people all that much”.

“Oh, I’m sure you have”.

Lance jerks his head back as the druid suddenly crowds his space. “Hey asshole-” he starts to say before the druid cuts him off.

“I’m sure you’ve always been the most likely to fit into a crowd, haven’t you?” they lean in to whisper. Lance clenches his teeth instead of answering.

“Yes. That’s it isn’t it?” Trivake wonders softly, the voice coming from underneath their mask soft and hissing, sending chills down Lance’s spine. “Always the one to fit in, make yourself fit the scenario but it’s never the other way around is it? Since people are hardly willing to fit to you, you always make yourself fit. Bend and break yourself into whatever form it is you need to fit in.”

The druid’s words are grating in Lance’s ears, and he finds something dark and ugly rising in his chest as the Trivake keeps taking.

“That’s what makes all the blue paladins so special. Black may be the head, and Red the right hand, but Blue? Blue is the soul of Voltron.” Trivake seems to be speaking almost reverently now, their low voice drawing Lance in without him meaning too.

“Blue is the mediator, the binding force. It has the highest resonance factor, can connect to any other form of quintessence in a tick”.

Lance’s brows furrow at the ‘resonance’ part. He kinda gleamed that quintessence is some sort of energy. He remembers what Allura did on the Balmera, almost killing herself if you listen to Coran. And Allura has mentioned it enough that he started to get a basic grasp of it. But the resonance thing… he has no clue what that means, but he’s willing to bet it has something to do with the druid’s ability to fucking switch people out of their bodies. Lance’s gut clenches at the memory, no longer paying attention to anything of what the druid is saying. Is that what’s going to happen to him? Get stripped out of his body and thrown into some fucking vial?! Is the druid going to use his body for some kind of doppelgänger?

Lance starts to feel anger grow alongside his panic as Trivake just keeps going on about how rare he is. Like some kind of specimen. ‘Guess that’s all I am now’ Lance thinks distantly. When the druid shows no sign of stopping, he can’t help but interrupt their rambling.

“So what, your gonna… remove me like you did that clone?” He asks, fighting to keep his panic out of his voice. The druid stops and stills at Lance’s outburst, giving an annoyed sigh before answering.

“Sadly not. Though it would make things much easier” they say. “No, that trick only works if you have a blank slate. It can’t be done when there’s pre-existing quintessence if I ‘removed’ you as you say, your body would simply die”.

Lance isn’t sure if he completely keeps the feeling of horror off his face. He’s guessing he doesn’t, going by how the druid voice turns predatory.

“And you’re much more useful to me alive.”

Lance’s eyes flick down to the vial Trivake still has clench in their hand. “So what’s that then, huh?” He asks shakily.

Trivake holds up the vial again, “Oh this?” and Lance can practically hear the sardonic eye brow raise. “This is just a little… boost”. They turn around and walk back to the panel where they pull out some kind of injection gun.

“You see, I’m not very well versed in your species anatomy,” they say as they start to draw out the glowing, purple liquid, “but I’m fairly certain that your form is going to need some support for what I have planned”.

He knows that it’s pointless, but Lance still tries to shift away from the druid as they draw closer to him. He cranes his neck as far as he can while the druid reaches up with a clawed hand, covering his eyes. Lance can feel his heart trying to burst out of his chest, his breathing picking up as he senses the tip of the needle through the leggings covering his thigh. He tries to prepare himself again, imagines throwing up walls to keep the druid out, gathering up all the important memories, the ones the druid seemed interested in. He still gasps in pain though, when Trivake shoves their way inside his head.

Lance is sure his body is straining, can distantly feel the tension in his body. He prepares himself for the familiar onslaught, for the sense of Trivakes invisible talons ripping his head apart. Instead, the druid approaches slowly.

Lance can feel it when Trivake touches the walls inside his head, can feel their claws scrape against them, making him shudder. Cruel laughter reverberates through his skull, Trivake’s amusement at Lance’s barriers leaking through. Instead of smashing them though, Lance can feel him turn away. Lance keeps behind his mental walls, warry. Trivake seems content to sift through the memories Lance left behind, picking through them almost lazily. He takes such a long time, Lance is caught off guard when he finally picks one and _tugs_.

Lance is thrown into the memory, disorientated for a second as he tries to place it. When he does, he’s confused. It’s just… a random moment between him and hunk back when they were in the Garrison. It’s so old and faded, Lance can’t hear (remember?) what they’re talking about. Why is Trivake interested in this?

It’s weird watching himself. He’s sitting on his bed, lips moving and hands waving around animatedly while Hunk sits in the chair by his desk. Hunk is nodding along, smiling, obviously agreeing with whatever Lance his saying. Then Hunk opens his mouth to respond, his face scrunching up to look like… Inverson? Lance guesses he must’ve been doing an impersonation.

The memory-Lance falls back with laughter at it and watching the memory Lance smiles to himself. He doesn’t know why Trivake picked this but he’s glad he did, his chest filling with warmth at seeing his friend. Warm tendrils of emotion leaking from the memory at the sigh of Hun-

Lance has barely let himself feel happiness at the sight of Hunks face when lightning rods of pain shoot into his left leg. It’s so sudden, Lance gets ripped from the memory as his mind blanks white. If he thought that getting shot through with a grappling hook was bad, its nothing compared to this.

He can barely think, there’s so much pain. He can’t breathe, only draw in small gasps as his body won’t let him relax his chest. It’s like raw electricity is shooting all through out his body, starting at his leg.

Just as quickly as it came, it stops.

With a whoosh of air, Lance sags forward against the restraints. His body is trembling, his stomach feels sick and Lance can feel tears prick at the corner of his eyes. He doesn’t want to cry, he can’t cry, _he can’t cry right now_.

“Interesting”.

Lance jerks his head up at the druid’s voice. They just stare at Lance, mask reflecting wide terrified eyes. Lance opens his mouth, to say what he doesn’t know. Instead, his stomach lurches and he pukes violently, vomit landing on the floor and his chest. It takes him a second to get his breath back, his mouth sour with the leftover taste of his vomit. Lance can feel some stuck on his chin as he looks up when he hears the druid’s footsteps come closer.

The druid has already filled the injection gun by the time he steps back up to Lance. And for a brief moment, Lance’s brave resolve breaks as he sees the needle get placed against his other leg.

“Please”. It comes out a breathless whimper.

Trivake merely stares, hand already reaching towards Lance’s face.

The next time it happens, Lance screams.

 

 

There’s sweat in his eyes and his muscle are burning but he doesn’t care, doesn’t want to care…

Keith slams his shoulder into a training droid before whirling around and slicing the one coming up behind.

Breathe. In, out. Swing. Duck. Block.

_“We have to go back for him!”_

_Hunk’s angry voice echo’s in the common room. His normally calm expression has been replaced with anger after hearing Keith describe what happened with Red._

_Keith is sitting on the couch, the small pool of guilt growing larger in his gut. It had been a while since Blue had stopped roaring, her yellow eyes growing dim as she suddenly activated her barrier._

Roll. Lunge. Breathe.

_“I’m afraid it’s not that simple Hunk” Allura tries to reason “We only found the ship in the first place because of the Blades assistance. Not to mention that the ship was cloaked in a-”_

_“So?!” Hunk yells. “Ask Kolivan again! If we found it once we can do it again right?”_

Kieth takes a hit to the ribs, he grunts. Keeps going.

_“I- I don’t know Hunk” Pidge pipes up, voice small and unsure. “By now they’ve probably moved on to a different star system, and if they still have that dimension cloaker, it’s going to be almost impossible to track them again”. Pidge fiddles with the edges of their sleeves, biting their lip. Keith hates seeing Pidge like this, first their brother. Now Lance._

Block. Slide left. Duck.

_“Well, then we make it work” Hunk argues. “We- we have to get him out of there! Blue already has her shield up, what… what if? –“_

Keith takes another hit, gets up and lunges back into the simulation with a snarl.

_“I’m with Hunk”. Everyone’s heads whip around to where Keith sits on the couch. “The longer we sit around, the longer Lance suffers”._

Swing. Stab. Block. Fucking swing.

_“We have to start on getting him back now”. Keith can’t stop the anger in coming through his voice, it’s that or he lets everyone know how scared he is for Lance. Allura seems to guess though, cause she starts to say, “Keith, it’s not your fault-“_

A hit to the back of his knee, making him fall. Keith swears, but he’s already spinning and getting up.

_“The hell it isn’t my fault!” Keith shouts, surprising even himself with his outburst. The team is looking at him with pity in their eyes and Keith can’t stand it. “Keith,” Shiro says softly. “We’ll figure this out ok?”_

His eyes are burning, probably from the sweat dripping down his face.

_Keith just looks away, biting the inside of his tongue to keep from yelling again. He can feel the guilt and anger eating at him from the inside. He hates sitting here, hates not being able to do anything._

Keith takes a hit, hard. So hard he goes flying across the room. He pushes himself up, arms shaking and the droid advances. He jumps back in with a yell.

_“… There might be something…”_

_The team turns back around to face Pidge. They’ve lost the uncertainty from before, now their eyes are flicking back and forth rapidly as Pidge thinks._

_“If I could study the transmission frequency, I’m sure I could create a search algorithm that could look for similarities in other signals,” they say slowly. Hunks face seems to brighten at that. “Yeah! And then if we could get Kolivan to send whatever signals they’re intercepting we can increase our search area! And maybe…”_

_Pidge and Hunk start talking rapid fire, and Keith notices some of the tension leave Shiro’s and Allura’s shoulders. Keith doesn’t relax though._

His chest is constricting, his breaths coming fast and hard. His arms are on fire, but Keith doesn’t care. He keeps swinging his bayard around.

_“Is there anything I can do?” Keith asks. He wants to help. Needs to help. Instead, Shiro places a hand on his shoulder and tries giving him a comforting smile._

_“Maybe not right now buddy, but I’m sure Pidge and Hunk will tell us when they got something figured out yeah?”_

_Keith glares down at the ground, letting the feeling of helplessness drown him._

_“Yeah”_.

The droid hits Keith’s sword hard, forcing him to one knee. He struggles against it, fighting to keep his arms from giving out. He can do this… 

The droid forces him down another inch and Keith grits his teeth. No longer constantly fighting, his brain screams at him: _‘Your fault your fault your fault’_. He keeps seeing Lance’s sad smile behind his eyelids, the words his lips formed.

Just when he can feel his arms about to give, Keith feels rage and sorrow well up in his chest. With a roar he pushes the droid off him, bringing his sword down in a powerful arc. The droid falls to the ground in two pieces as Keith finally allows himself to fall to his knees. He’s breathing heavily, and his muscles and eyes sting. Keith sucks in a few shaky breaths before managing to get back on his feet.

It’s been three days now. Pidge and Hunk are still working on tracking the transmission, Allura and Shiro are still trying to deal with using Voltron minus one member, Coran is trying to drum up allies and Keith….

Keith is useless.

So he spends his time on the training deck. Just like before. Eat, sleep, train, repeat. He doesn’t spend that much time in the shower, just enough to rinse off.

It’s easier this way, he reminds himself. Just train himself to exhaustion every day and he doesn’t have to put up with his brain yelling at him.

Keith momentarily considers going and getting so food, but he just doesn’t feel like it. He doesn’t have the energy to try and socialize with the others, to see their looks of worry and pity out of the corner of his eye.

So, like he’s been doing for the past few nights, Keith stumbles into his room and flops down on his bed, waiting for exhaustion to take him.  And just like the other nights, Keith hopes that this one will be nightmare free.

 

 

Trivake hurries down a hallway towards the bridge of the ship. Any galra that see him hurry to get out of his way, mistaking his hurriedness for anger. No, it’s not anger that causes him to rush down corridors, it’s excitement.

The blue paladin had been so… responsive to his treatments. Trivake was already beginning to see changes in the boy’s muscle structures. As for the boy’s mind… It was the only snare in the druids otherwise gleeful mood. True, the defences the boy kept trying to put up were laughable and yet Trivake had yet to mould the paladin's mind like he wanted. Oh well. Trivake had time, and they all broke in the end anyhow.

Reaching the Bridge, Trivake orders for the communication officer to make a call to high command. It takes a few ticks, but then their master's face fills the deck.

Trivake immediately falls to a knee. “High Priestess”.

“Rise Trivake”, the High Priestess drawls. Straightening but keeping their head dutifully bowed, Trivake opens their mouth to speak. “Priestess, I’m pleased to say that – “

“Starting without me again Trivake? I am disappointed”.

Trivake clenches their teeth and scowls underneath their mask, turning to face the source of their annoyance.

Prince Lotor strides onto the bridge, looking smug as he senses the druid’s irritation. He doesn’t even bow when he acknowledges the High Priestess.

“Hello, Honerva” the prince says smoothly, lips curving upwards slightly.

Trivake would love nothing more than to claw that irritating smirk off the half-breed’s face, but alas. Even Trivake, the High Priestesses apprentice would be punished for harming a superior.

“Lotor” the Priestess spits, yellow eyes narrowing in annoyance.

Trivake bows slightly at their master's tone. “My apologies High Priestess” they start, “I had no idea we would have… an audience when I contacted you”.

Their master waves her hand dismissively, “No matter Trivake. Now, give me your report on out new subject”.

Trivake spare one last glare towards the prince, not caring if the half-breed can’t see it, before starting. They tell all that they’ve managed to learn over the past few days. How the blue paladin continues to resist at times, but soon the conditioning that Trivake has been using should take effect. And the quintessence treatment is already starting to take place.

“Soon, I imagine that the blue paladin will be on par with the Champions levels, will even surpass it perhaps”. Trivake smiles to themselves; if their able to inject the quintessence into the subject’s bone marrow….

“Very good Trivake,” his master says, sounding pleased. “I look forward to seeing more of your progress”.

Trivake kneels again. “Of course High Priestess, I will continue to keep you informed”. The druid doesn’t stand until his master cuts the connection. Only when that’s been done does he turn to the prince.

“I suppose you are pleased as well?” they ask blithely, not really caring. The prince just nods, looking speculative. With nothing else to say, Trivake turns to go.

“I suppose a demonstration should be in order soon?” the prince asks before the druid can leave. Trivake pauses, curiosity at the prince’s words. “My prince?”

The half-breed is studying his claws as he goes on. “I’ve picked up that Voltron is on our tail again, in fact, they may find us any day now”.

Trivake feels anger bubble to the surface at his words, fingers clenching into a fist. “And I wasn’t informed of because?...” they managed to get out through gritted teeth. The prince shrugs.

“You seemed rather preoccupied at the time”.

Trivake reminds themselves that they didn’t go through all their trials just to lose everything because they wanted to murder the next in line to the throne for being a brat.

“And so you propose a demonstration then? Why?”

The prince drops his hand and turns towards Trivake, smiling.

“I feel that with the right motivation, Voltron could be persuaded in coming to an agreement”.

Seeing the prince's smile, Trivake finds themselves agreeing with the prince’s idea for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are you planning Lotor..... *squints suspiciously*  
> As a side note, I incorporated something I learned about in Psych class into this chapter. Anybody know about the "little Albert" experiment?....   
> Again, thank-you thank-you THANK-YOU for all the comments and kudos, I'm glad to see that people are enjoying this so far! 
> 
> Come and find me on tumblr: flulamela


	8. Writing Update

Hey Y'all. I am so sorry for the super late update and sorry that this isn't an actual chapter! >_< I've just been so busy getting back from my university trip and then trying to find a summer job and trying to organize my life in general. Plus, now that I've actually started my new job (hurray!) I've just been getting used to my new work hours and settling into my new routine. However! I AM CURRENTLY WORKING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER. I can't make any promises that it'll be a long one, but I hope to at least post SOMETHING by the end of my weekend (so Monday or Tuesday cause my days off are Sun/Mon). Now that I have a regular schedule and not a crap ton of extra-circulars, I'm hoping to try to get an actual posting schedule going... Plus, I'm going to try this thing that I read that Terry Pratchett (one of my fav authors) use to do with his writing, where he would write just 400 words a day to practise for writing for long periods of time. 

So yeah! Again, I'm really sorry that this hasn't been a proper chapter but stay tuned folks! And to all the lovely people that keep leaving kudos, comments and bookmarks, I LOVE YOU RADICAL DUDES! As someone who's never shared their writing until this point, seeing that people like it is super encouraging! Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, I hope you have a fantastic day and thanks again for reading this fic!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance realizes that the Druid's experiments are showing up faster than he thought, but no worries, the team has a plan!... Right?...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO LOVELIES! As promised, a little something posted on Tuesday! Sorry it's a shorter chapter, I had originally planned for both Lance's and Keith's POV to be included in this chapter, but a) I did want to get something posted by Tuesday and b) I'm a sucker for cliffhangers/am a cliched writer. 
> 
> Just a quick heads up, Lance does have a quick panic attack, though its quick earlier on in the chapter. I don't think it's too graphic, but by all means, skip it if you don't feel comfortable!

When Lance wakes up again, he’s back in his cell. He knows, because he can make out the purple glow of the ship even from behind his closed eyelids. Opening his eyes is an effort, as every cell in his body seems to ache and protest any kind of movement. And if he thought his head hurt before?... curses stream out of him in a breathless mutter as he sits up.

“Mother Fuc-ah hijo de putafolla de ladofucking shiiiiit.”

From the simple movement, Lance finds that his head is spinning and that his body feels like it just went through one of Allura’s ‘training exercises’ and failed miserably. Panting a bit, Lance looks over to see the same tray of food placed by the door. Lance goes to stand up-

And falls over as pain spears it’s way through his legs.

It’s so sudden, he doesn’t think to scream until after he’s hit the floor again. A chocked yell makes its way out of him as he curls up on the cold metal floor. As he gets his bearings again, all Lance can think is ‘what the actual fuck?’.

He looks down at his legs, expecting to find something horrendous in their place or ‘maybe they finally got around to upgrading him like Shiro…’. But looking at them, they seem fine. Still clothed in the same prisoner spandex the Galra first put him into. Although…

Lance wonders if he’s finally going crazy. He knows his body, hell he’s lived in it for seventeen years! And after seventeen years, you kinda get used to being sorta gangly and long-limbed, get a sixth sense for where everything is in case you accidentally knock over something important… (like a cup of nuville onto a certain gremlins laptop?). And as someone who always prided himself on his looks, Lance knew what every piece of him looked like.

So why the hell do his legs look… different?

Panic is a creeping thing in the back of Lance’s mind as he squints at his legs. He doesn’t know how he knows, he just… does. It’s almost unnoticeable but still, his legs look… longer somehow. Bulkier.

The panic in the back of his head starts to make itself known and Lance finds his breaths becoming short and fast, till they’re just small little gasps. Lance wants to tuck his head between his knees, but he can’t, ‘ _oh_ _god_ _he_ _can’t_ , _he_ _can’t_ _move_ _his_ _legs. What_ _the_ _hell_ _did_ _he_ _get_ _injected_ _with_?!’.

The light-headiness from before comes back with a vengeance, causing Lance to just flop over and try his best to curl into a ball. He knows he needs to calm down, to breath, but the idea that the druid is changing him, making him into some sort of thing is terrifying. All the fear he had been trying to push to the side comes back with a vengeance, his brain a whirlpool of darkening thoughts.

_‘Breathe, breathe Lance! You need to breathe!’_

Lying there in the darkened room, Keith’s voice seems to reverberate in his head and Lance can’t help but get a sense of déjà vu…

_Keith’s voice is far away, Lance barely registering the warm hands that settle on his shoulders. His lungs don’t want to work properly, still remembering the images he’d seen in his nightmare. Voltron shattered Earth up in flames. He couldn’t find his family, he couldn’t find the team… he had run through the battleground, rounding a corner only to find…_

_“LANCE.”_

_Lance jumps a bit as his eyes abruptly refocus. The first thing he registers is Keith’s violet grey eyes, right across from his own. His breathing is still coming in short panicked gasps, but he manages to stutter out a confused, “K-Keith-h?”_

_Serious violet grey eyes bore into him, and Lance finds himself centring on them as he tries to escape the bloodied images he’d just seen. The hands on his shoulders give a comforting squeeze._

_“Hey sharpshooter, it’s ok.” Keith gives Lance a small smile, and Lance think’s distant that it’s both weird and beautiful to see Keith like this, all gentle like._

_“You’re ok Lance, but I need you to breathe,” Keith says softly, concern painted on his face. Lance manages a nod in response._

_“Good. Ok Lance just look at me yeah?” Lance wants to snark that he already is, but it’s hard when your lungs don’t work. Instead, he keeps staring into Keith’s eyes as Keith starts to take deep, slow breaths. It takes a moment, but eventually, Lance manages to catch onto Keith’s pace. His breaths even out and the panic squeezing his chest dissipates. Keith is still holding onto him, so Lance takes one more slow breath before straightening and saying “I-I’m good now I think”._

_Keith gives him a tight nod as he quickly removes his hands from where they sit on Lance’s shoulders and turns away, scowling. If Lance didn’t know any better, he’d say Keith was embaressed._

Somehow, the memory of Keith’s voice telling him to breath is what does it. Lance forces himself to take a horrible gasping breath, and then another… and another…

It feels like hours, but Lance get’s his breathing under control again. He keeps replaying that memory in his head, letting the imaginary sound of Keith’s voice wash over him as he calms down. Only once he’s wrestle the panic back down, does Lance open his eyes again. Slowly shifting into a sitting position, Lance can’t help but glance back down at his legs again. He glups, just once, seeing them and their strangeness. Then he shakes himself, like he can shake off the off-kilter feeling he always gets after a panic attack.

“No use in getting worked up again eh?” He says aloud to himself, hating the way his voice echo’s off the walls. “Whatever. Just cause they changed my legs doesn’t mean they changed me”.

Lance ignores the little unsure ‘ _right_?’ that pops up in the back of his head.

With nothing else to do besides sit and stew in his head, Lance drags himself over to the meal tray by the door. It looks like much of the same meager fare like before, but at this point, weird Galra food is the least of Lance’s troubles. He digs in, forcing himself to eat all of it before crawling back over to the wall and falling asleep.

 

This time around, Lance isn’t woken by nightmares or by the druid. Instead, he’s thrown awake the same time he’s thrown into the opposite wall. His body hit’s the wall with a crash, making all the other small aches he’d been ignoring flare to life.

Rubbing the back of his head in annoyance, Lance blindly calls out “what the fuck?” as the ship is jostled again, and he finds himself skidding back across the floor. The purple lights overhead have now changed to red, and far off Lance can hear an alarm blaring.

‘ _Alarm_ , _lights_ , _swerving_ _ship_?’ As he connects the dots, Lance’s heart soars. If a Galra cruise ship is getting attacked, that can only mean one thing. Voltron.

As soon as he thinks it, he immediately reaches out, searching. Sure enough, he brushes against a familiar thread and Blue’s delighted roar fills his mind. Lance can’t help the surge of relief he feels, the prick of tears in his eyes as he feels Blue’s concern and elation pulse down their bond.

‘ _We’re_ _coming_ _little_ _one_ ’ Blue tells him, sending him a picture of what looks to be the Green, Yellow and Black lions blasting the ship. Seeing that Red isn’t there, Lance feels a spike a fear.

‘ _Where’s_ _Keith_?’ he asks, but Blue is already sending him another image. A blurred bit of space, making it’s way to the ship. Lance feels a bit of relief seeing that Keith is still piloting Red. His emotion causes Blue to chuckle, ‘ _as_ _if_ _the_ _Fiery_ _one_ _would_ _let_ _a_ _scratch_ _stop_ _him_ ’.

Lance hardy thinks a laser blast to the leg counts as a _scratch_ but Blue just continues, slightly amused. ‘Fiery one was very adamant about being the one to get you’. At that, Lance falls silent, not wanting to think about all the ways he could take that.

‘ _I’m_ _just_ _glad_ _to_ _hear_ _you_ _girl_ ’ he tells Blue instead, making her purr in response.

Lance is just about to ask what he needs to do in order to help, when he hears raised voices outside his door. He turns to see the door open the same time Blue sends questioning concern down their connection. That concern turns to cold rage as Blue feels Lance’s pain when two Galra sentries roughly jerk him to his feet and drag him out of his cell. Small spikes of pain still shoot up his legs, but Lance manages to get his feet under himself, so he can stagger along instead of getting dragged along the floor by the sentries.

“Where the hell are you guys taking me huh?” Lance asks, ignoring Blues mental shouting in the back of his head. “Finally decided to stop by the space starbucks? Well sorry dudes, but it’s a bit late to try and get back in my good graces”.

The sentries don’t say anything, just continue to march him along with an iron grip on his upper arms. Lance can feel his heart beating a mile a minute, as they continue to walk down through the ship. He may have been mostly unconscious whenever he’s been dragged through the ships halls, but he has a funny feeling that he knows where the sentries are taking him. Sure enough, even with the jostling of the ship, they quickly come across a large door which the sentries open.

“I hate it when I’m right” Lance mutters as he’s dragged into the central command room. Standing in front of him is the Druid and that tall, white-haired Galra, Lotor? Or something? Behind them, a video comm link has been established, and Lance tries to keep his face neutral when he sees the team staring down at him. Allura’s attention is currently being held by the tall Galra.

“If you surrender now Prince Lotor” Allura starts saying, “I’m sure that we can come to an agreement regaurding your freedom”. Her voice is light, but her eyes burn with and icy fire that tell anyone in the room what she’d really like to do with the Galra prince.

“Oh Princess Allura, you are too charming.” The Prince – Lotor- replies smoothly, making Allura narrow her eyes in thinly veiled annoyance. Allura starts to speak again, and while she has his captors attention, Lance sneaks a glance at the team.

Looking at all of them, you’d think that they were the ones that had been captured. Dark circles are under everyone’s eyes; on Pidge, it makes them look more owlish than usual. Hunk makes eye contact with Lance and gives him a quick, nervous smile which Lance returns. Then, Lance’s eyes flick over to Keith.

He looks mostly fine, tired but fine. Seeing him makes a small wave a relief bloom in his chest. Lance tries to make more direct eye contact with Keith, except… Keith doesn’t seem to look him in the eye. Lance feels his brows furrow slightly in confusion and opens his mouth to try and talk to Keith when he see’s Shiro move out of the corner of his eye. It’s the smallest of movements, a subtle shake of his head, _“No”_.

Lance quirks one of his eyebrows ever so slightly, a silent “ _what?_ ”. Shiro just raises both his eyes brows, inclining his head towards Lance, _“you”_.

If Lance is guessing what Shiro’s implying… He glances back to the part of the screen where Keith’s face is. Keith isn’t making any eye contact, and to anyone watching, it just looks like he’s scowling down at the people on the other side of the link. Then Keith’s eyes narrow briefly, before returning to his original trademark scowl. Barely a few second later, the same movement happens.

_‘A loop’_. Lance’s heart soars in his chest. Of course. The team is keeping the ship distracted, first by attacking and then by contacting them while _‘Keith sneaks on board’_. Lance would jump if could, but as it is, he’s barely standing. He goes to look at Shiro again, but Lotor’s voice interrupts his thoughts.

“I hate to interrupt Princess Allura” Lotor starts, the interruption making Allura flush with anger. “But I’m afraid there will be no surrendering”. Lotor turns slightly, sending Lance a smug grin over his shoulder. At the Princes look, Lance feels unease churn in his gut. The Prince must see some of Lance's uncertainty show through because his grin widens as he turns back around.

“Oh, and there will be no rats sneaking aboard either”.

Lotor snaps his fingers, and the feed that was playing Keith’s loop suddenly glitches out at the same time Keith’s helmet feed pours through the ships speaker system.

-“ost there guys. You guys still keeping the helm distracted?”

Silence fills the command room. Lance see’s the teams faces pale in surprise. Lotor shakes his head, ‘tsk-ing’ softly.

“Now, now Voltron. Where are your manners?”

Lotor must have patched his own link through to Keith’s helmet because there’s only a brief pause before Keith responds.

“Why don’t you come and face me. I’ll show you some real manners Prince”.

Keith hisses out the last word, all his malice coming through even though Lance can’t see his face. Lotor just sighs, almost like he’s a disappointed parent. He turns to the Druid. “Well Trivake, I think it’s time to move up your initial schedule, hmm?”

The Druid seems to start, before answering. “My lord, it may be unwise to start that stage of the treatment so soon after the last, the boy is barely recovered-”

“And I think Voltron needs a proper demonstration of what will happen if they don’t let us go” Lotor cuts them off, snarling. The Druid pauses, before dipping their head in agreement. Turning towards Lance, he see’s them pull out and injector. One with a much longer needle and filled with the same glowing liquid as before. Terror fills him, and Lance can’t help but start to struggle as the Druid comes closer, the teams enraged shouting filling the background. Lance is helpless as the Druid forces his head down, exposing his neck.

The team is still shouting his name as he feels the needle prick his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd that's all folks! Again, sorry for the shorter chapter but hopefully now that my life is back to its regularly scheduled programming, I can have a better posting schedule. I'm thinking it'll either be weekly or bi-weekly and on either Mondays or Tuesdays. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for all the comments, kudos and bookmarks! They honestly make my day ^_^ 
> 
> For a side note, hows everyone's summer holidays going? Does anyone have summer plans? I'm excited to be starting my summer job as a baker and looking forward to seeing Panic!at the disco in August with my best friend. 
> 
> At any rate, you guys are AMAZING and I hope you all have an awesome day and a fantastic summer!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith deals with having ~feelings~ while the team finally finds Lance! Everything goes according to plan.  
> Until it doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! Look who actually posted something on time, bi-weekly as promised. The whole writing 500 words a day thing is going GREAT. 10/10 recommend. 
> 
> This chapter is basically Keiths POV from the last one, plus a little bit more. I gotta say, even after watching the series, and reading a lot of other peoples works, I struggled a bit in trying to make Keith's actions and dialogue fit his characterization. But I guess everyone has their own spin on how they write characters (one of the many reasons I love reading others people works) and I guess this is just mine! But if you have any suggestions, let me know. ALSO: If you're hella excited/nervous/freaking out over the fact that season 6 is THIS FRIDAY, go scream at me in the comments!

When Keith wakes up, he feels as exhausted as when he first went to bed. That’s hardly surprising for him now though. Even before this whole mess started he was somewhat of an insomniac, but when you throw in feelings of guilt and half-remembered nightmares… it hardly equals a ‘good nights sleep’.

After having a shower, Keith feels a little more awake but is still feeling like death warmed over, so he heads towards the dinning area in the castle. As he walks through the sliding doors, he see’s that Pidge and Hunk are still in the positions that they were in the last time he saw them. Pidge is hunched over their computer, clacking away at the keys and muttering under their breath. Hunk sits opposite, also on a computer. But he seems to be checking something over, as his eyes roam rapidly over the screen while his one hand scribbles on a notepad near by. Neither of them look up as Keith walks in and grabs himself a bowl of food goo. Seeing them sitting there, working away with dark circles under their eyes… it makes guilt pang in Keith’s gut. Nevertheless, Keith makes his way over to the table and sits down with his food.

After it becomes clear that both of his fellow paladins haven’t noticed him yet, Keith awkwardly clears his voice and asks, “Any luck guys?”.

Hunk jumps a bit upon hearing Keith, where Pidge just shrugs and continues typing. “Oh, Keith!” Hunk starts, only to stop as he yawns. “Sorry”, he says before continuing, “how’s it going? Haven’t seen you in a while”.

Keith winces internally at that. He supposes he has been more reclusive than normal these past few days. Out loud though, he just gives a dry chuckle. “I should be telling you guys that. Have you even moved since I last saw you here?”

Hunk ponders a bit, blinking blearily. “What day is it today?” Hunk asks.

“My computer says that’s it the 18th day of being in this quadrant” Pidge finally pipes up, eyes not moving from their screen as they continue to work away at whatever is on their computer. Hunk yawns again before saying, “So about… three days then?”.

Keith looks down into his bowl. Three days. Three days since they had last seen Lance. Most of the team had devoted their efforts into trying to find him; Allura, Shiro and Kolivan gathered together any intel and transmission signals that the blade had intercepted. Coran was going through star charts, trying to see if there was any indication of another space pocket near by. Pidge was working on a searching algorithm, while Hunk crunched the numbers and tried to widen the searching frequencies. For Keith, it was hours spent on the training deck or in his own head. If it wasn’t getting himself beaten to a pulp by training bots, it was pacing the halls of the Castle or sitting in Red. Stewing.

Most of his thoughts were filled with the final moments between him and Lance. He kept replaying it over and over, finding places where he could’ve done something. If he hadn’t listened to his reckless nature, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten injured, slowed them down. He should’ve been stronger, pushed through any pain he had felt. He should’ve been the one to save Lance.

And while most of his mind went over everything he had done wrong, there was one specific moment that Keith found himself thinking more and more about. Specifically, the words he had seen Lance’s lips form, his face inches from his.

Just thinking about it makes Keith’s fist clench around his spoon. Hunk seemed to notice because he interrupted Keith’s thoughts.

“Hey”, he said, his eye’s softening with sympathy. “We’ll find him, ok Keith?”

Keith just nodded, not knowing what else to say. He’d only been telling himself the same thing for the past three days. Suddenly not hungry anymore, he pushed away from the table. He could feel Hunks worried gaze on his back as he strode from the dinning hall without another word.

Out in the hallway, Keith finds himself turn automatically to the training room, but just as he gets there he stops. He wasn’t walking fast, but Keith finds himself panting slightly. His heart rate is starting to pick up and his mind is replaying that stupid moment and he just wants it to stop. Something tight forms in his throat and suddenly his eyes are starting to burn and, and ‘it’s all his fault’.

Spinning around quickly, Keith starts marching back to his room. He keeps moving because if he doesn’t, the overwhelming feeling of crumpling to the floor will win and the last thing he wants right now is for someone to see him like this.

His sight starts to go blurry as tears start to form. There was a reason he had tried not to think about that specific memory. Every time Keith sees those whispered words in his head, he wants to scream, to fight, to throw himself into Red and destroy every last Galra cruiser he sees. Most of all he wants to find Lance and scream at him, ‘Why did you say that? Why, then?!’. Because if Keith is being honest with himself, all he really wants to scream back is, ‘I love you too, you Blue sharpshooting idiot’.

But every time he had started thinking about it, Keith shoved his feelings down. Because if he started thinking about that, then he’d start to think about all those small happy moments he had with Lance… wondering if they would be the last memories he’d ever have of him.

Being so focused on trying to get to his room without anyone seeing him, Keith doesn’t notice Shiro’s presence until he literally runs into him. One moment, he’s glaring through blurry eyes to look at the floor. The next, he’s bouncing off Shiro’s chest, while the tablet Shiro was carrying clatters to the floor. As Keith stumbles, he hears Shiro start in surprise.

“Oh! Hey, Keith sorry about that, I didn’t see- Keith?”

Initially, Keith tries to keep his gaze on the floor, but hearing the obvious concern in Shiro’s voice causes him to look up. He tries to keep his face blank, but Shiro must read him anyway because he asks, “Keith, what’s wrong?”.

It’s such a simple, stupid question, Keith thinks. But with Shiro’s concerned face looking down at him, and the intense feeling of guilt and grief storming inside… Keith tries to say that he’s fine. Worried like the others about Lance, but he’s fine.

Instead, his lower lip wobbles and his façade crumbles. “Shiro, I-” he starts.

Then Shiro is hugging him gently, his strong arms enfolding Keith. And that’s all it takes. The next thing out of Keith’s mouth is a small, but audible sob.

Once started, he can’t seem to stop. Keith quickly finds himself clinging to Shiro as ugly cries maneuver their way out of his chest. Over the sound of his crying, Keith can just make out the soothing sounds that Shiro makes. Keith keeps his face pushed into Shiro’s shoulder as he cries, muffling the sound of his voice as he lets out everything that he’s been feeling.

‘I-it’s all my f-fault S-Shiro, I, I was so stupid, and… _Goddamnit_ Lance…”

At Keith’s admission, Shiro gives him a firm squeeze. “No it’s not Keith”, Shiro murmurs in a low voice. “You couldn’t have known that Lance would do that”.

Keith slowly shakes his head, “I s-should’ve though! He’s a-always been a self-sacrificing i-idiot”. Keith feels Shiro give a small huff of laughter at that.

“Yeah, but that’s no reason to call yourself an idiot Keith”. They don’t say anything else for a few more moments. Shiro letting Keith’s sobs wind down until they’re small hiccupping breaths. Feeling mostly calmed down, Keith loosens his grip on Shiro’s shirt, suddenly embarrassed by his little breakdown. Shiro must sense that Keith is thinking of just ending the moment there and running away, because he pulls away slightly, putting his hands on Keith’s shoulders and squeezing to make Keith look up at him.

“You can’t blame yourself Keith” Shiro states firmly, “You did the best you could-”

“No, I didn’t Shiro!”. Keith can’t help the hot burst of anger, mostly at himself, that flares in his chest. It quickly fades though, when he sees Shiro’s look of surprise, making him stare at the floor in guilt of his outburst. Shiro is silent for a moment before asking gently, “What do you mean by that Keith?”.

Keith shakes his head. How could he tell Shiro? Hell, he can barely admit it to himself.

“Keith”.

Shiro’s voice is soft but firm. Keith knows that he won’t pry into it if Keith makes it clear that he doesn’t want to, but…

“Not here,” he says quietly, voice barely above a whisper. Shiro pauses, eyes flicking over Keith’s face before saying “Ok”.

 

Shiro remains quiet as Keith leads him to his room. He stays quiet even as Keith shuffles into his room and awkwardly sits on the edge of his bed, body tense. Keith fiddles with the bottom hem of his gloves as Shiro sits down next to him. Even though the silence is a bit weird, Keith appreciates Shiro waiting patiently for him to speak. It was one of the things about Shiro that Keith had always liked, unlike so many others, teachers, councils, classmates, Shiro never demanded that Keith share what was on his mind. True, it had taken a bit of a learning curve on both their parts, with Shiro learning to wait and trust that Keith would come to him and Keith learning that it was ok to open up and trust Shiro.

Keith allowed himself a few minutes of silence, wondering where to start. He’s only quiet for a few more moments before opening his mouth and forcing himself to speak.

“I… guess I have something to confess” he starts, noticing how Shiro’s eyebrow’s raise briefly in the corner of his eye. He swallows thickly, deciding to focus on the fraying edge on one of the fingers of his glove as he continues.

“It’s… it’s about Lance. I don’t think I ever told you but… I had this stupid crush on him when we started the first year at the Garrison”.  As the conflicting feelings from earlier start to well up again, Keith tries to keep his breathing even, determined not to start crying again.

“He was just so, so… I dunno, bright? Kinda a dumb analogy I guess, but Lance just always seemed to carry this light with him, I’m not sure if it’s just me, but he could literally light up a room”. Keith hears a light amused huff come from the side Shiro’s on, and he allows himself a small smile at the memory.

“And he was always so popular and nice, everybody liked him. Especially me I guess… But then we actually met for the first time and I screwed it up”. Keith lets out a sigh, “I can barely remember what it was about, I think the flight simulators? I was just trying to give him some friendly advice – honest Shiro! – so he could improve his scores, next thing I know, he’s proclaimed that we’re rivals and that he’s ‘coming for my top spot’”. Keith shakes his head and glances at Shiro, who is obviously trying to remain serious and fighting a smile. Feeling the lightened mood, Keith gives Shiro a shove.

“Yeah, yeah whatever. That when on and then you got kidnapped, I… made some dumb choices and dropped out, and then… well, this all happened…” He lets himself trail off. Keith isn’t really sure how to start the next part.

“Then… I guess we joined this team, started saving the universe. I thought that Lance and I could be friends, but he still wanted to be rivals”. Keith’s throat started to feel tight, and he found he had to swallow before continuing.

“And then I found out I was part Galra and I thought, that ‘this was it’. This is when I get kicked off the team, that nobody wants me. Just like usual”. Shiro made a noise of protest at that, but he raised a hand to quiet him.

“I get it now, that wasn’t ever going to happen but still… I mean, you saw how Allura reacted right? I just thought that the same would go for everyone else. But then Lance… later that day he found me, up on the training deck – shocker I know. He tried talking to me, asking me to train and I just got mad. I didn’t want anyone’s pity at that point I guess, I didn’t want him to try to be friends with me just because I was part Galra… I think I yelled something like, ‘you sure you want to train with the enemy?’ and he just stared at me, Shiro. Then he laughed. And he just said, ‘If you’re the enemy than I can speak fluent Atlantean’. That he didn’t care if I was Galra or not, he just had to make sure he could keep up with his ‘rival’.

Keith finds himself growing quiet again. He had never told anyone about that moment with Lance. Out of all the members on the team, including Shiro, Lance was the only one that went to go find him. He manages to take a stuttering breath, even as his emotions threaten to overwhelm him again. Shiro seems to sense it, placing a comforting hand on Keith’s knee, a silent request for him to continue.

“And I guess, that was enough. No matter what happened, the aliens Lance flirted with, the fact that I was part Galra, that I got to be the Black Paladin, nothing would change between us. We were friends, rivals, whatever”. Keith tried but ultimately couldn’t help how his voice started to waver near the end, how tears started back up in his eyes.

“But then-” and the emotions from before hit so strongly, it’s like a punch to the gut. Keith finally manages to look up at Shiro with watery eyes.

“He said – he said he loved me, Shiro”.

He barely gets the words out, a soft heart-broken whisper. He see’s Shiro’s eyebrows raise in quiet surprise, mouth open in a soft ‘oh’, before Shiro’s face changes into one filed with pity.

“Oh, Keith…” He says softly, tugging Keith towards him in a hug. Keith lets out another small sob as he lets himself get pulled forward into Shiro’s embrace. He lets himself be held as he trembles and continues speaking.

“H-he said it j-just before… before…”

Shiro hushes him soothingly, whispering “I know” into his hair. Keith just cries harder, but he has to get it out, just this once, so at least somebody knows.

“S-shiro I think I… I think… _I love him, Shiro_ ”.

Shiro hugs him tighter, and Keith lets him. Lets himself cry as his heart aches, longing to say the words to a stupid blue-eyed boy… but not knowing if he ever will.

 

They stay like that for a long time. Even after Keith has calmed down again, Shiro continues to hug him until at last, Keith, tired of breathing in stale air being inside Shiro’s embrace, pulls away. Seeing the rather obvious damp spot on Shiro’s shirt makes Keith wince internally. It’s not often that he shows his emotions so openly.

“Sorry” he mumbles to Shiro, but Shiro just waves him off. “Don’t worry about kiddo”, he says warmly. His face turns slightly more serious as he asks, “better?”

Keith gives him a wane smile and nods. He still feels like someone is using his heart as a stress ball, but the weight on his chest from earlier has lifted, if ever so slightly. Shiro gives a comforting smile back, “We’ll find him, Keith. I know we will”. Keith just nods, gazing back down at the floor. He doesn’t want to voice his fears aloud just in case the universe decides to take them to heart. Shiro goes to open his mouth to say something again but is cut off by Pidge’s voice from the castle loudspeakers.

“Guys? Where ever you are and whatever you’re doing, stop. Come to the bridge, I think we just found Lance”.

As the speakers turn off with a faint crackle, Keith glances at Shiro. In the next moment, they’re both booking it through the hallways of the castle, racing towards the control room. Keith makes it there first, skidding ahead of Shiro through the doors. A quick glance around shows that pretty much everyone else is already there, crowding around Pidge’s station. Keith makes his way over, slightly breathless. Getting closer, Kolivan catches his eye. His normally impassive face looks concerned for a moment, before returning to its usual nonchalance. Keith feels his face heat slightly, so concerned with getting to the bridge, he forgot what he must look like. Eye’s slightly red and puffy, cheeks probably even redder now as he flushes with embarrassment. Trying to ignore any further looks he might get, Keith peers over the shoulder of Pidges chair. Whatever they’re working on is undecipherable by Keith, but their face radiates excitement as they hunched forward over the screen. Keith can faintly hear them muttering under their breath and goes to ask what’s going on, but Hunk, perched on the other side, catches his eye and shakes his head. Keith goes back to staring at Pidge’s screen and all is quiet in the control room aside from the small beeping of keys as they make small adjustments. Suddenly, Pidge leans back in their chair, looking triumphant and exhausted all at once.

“I did it. I found him.” They say softly, almost as if they can’t believe it themselves.

“Alright, Pidge!” Hunk cheers, giving them a hug, made awkward by the chair getting in the way. Everyone around Keith smiles in relief, Allura saying “well done” even as Hunk and Coran (who is obviously fighting back tears) continue to congratulate Pidge. Keith want’s to as well, heart swelling with relief, only to immediately sink back down as he asks aloud, “what now?”.

Shiro comes up to stand next to Keith. “Now we make a plan to get Lance back,” he says confidently. “Indeed” Allura chimes in smoothly. She walks over to the control pillars, pulling up the star map as she goes. “Pidge if you could please input the coordinates you found?”. Pidge complies, a few quick taps has a marker appearing up on the map, not very far from the castle.

“They were that close this whole time?” Keith finds himself growling, “why couldn’t we see them earlier?”

Keith ignores the disapproving stares the team gives him as Pidge gives a tired sigh.

“Because” they start, “their cloaking it tech is a lot more advanced than the one I’m used to dealing with. Plus, they’re still using that space pocket-thingy, so it’s hard to get a read on any signals they might send out. The only way we could track them was through any outgoing signal they had, and if they’re not making a lot of calls, that makes it more difficult. Not to mention the fact that trying to catch one is basically like trying to catch a mouse with a pull-snare!”

Keith frowns at himself, as Pidge finishes with an exasperated huff. “Sorry” he mutters, deflating somewhat, “I’m not angry at you”. Pidge just sighs again, “I know Keith. We’re all tired”.

The awkward moment is broken by Shiro clearing his throat. “Close or not” he starts, “we still need to come up with a plan”. Turning to Kolivan, Shiro asks, “is there anything you could tell us about the defences of the ship?”

Kolivan nods, “While we have no man on the inside, we were able to figure out what the ship might have based off of what our other informants have heard”. As Kolivan speaks, he pulls out a data drive and hands it to Pidge, who inserts in and quickly brings up what looks to be rough schematics of a ship.

“This ship belongs to the druid faction of the Galra empire, rare to be sure. From what rumours we’ve heard, it’s one of the ships that is under direct command of the High Priestess Haggar”.

Keith feels unease roll through his gut. His eye’s flick over to Shiro, who looks slightly pale at the mention of Haggars name. Kolivan is still talking, so Keith focuses in again.

“While Haggar seems to mostly conduct her operations from Lord Zarkons ship, it would seem that she has on-going… projects on other ships”. Kolivan gestures to the image of the ship in front of him. “This ship in particular appears to be under the command of one of Haggar’s top apprentices, a Druid named Trivake”. Kolivan pauses for a second before continuing, “Unfortuantly, we were unable to find much more than their name”.

“So what… this ship is basically like a portable lab then?” Hunk pipes up from off to the side. Kolivan nods in agreement, “essentially, yes. It is a lab”.

“Because of that”, Kolivan goes on, “it has fairly low-level grade attack systems but, as we have experienced first hand, very high defense and anti-detection capabilities”.

“So, it’s built to run and hide, not stay and fight” Keith interrupts. “It would seem so,” Kolivan says.  

“If that’s the case” Allura starts slowly, “perhaps the best case would be a full-frontal assault?” she looks at the features of the ship, considering. Keith opens his mouth to agree, but Shiro shakes his head.

“I don’t think that would be the best plan,” He says. “If they have the high defenses that Kolivan says they do, they may actually just try to run before we really get a chance to get close to them”.

“But we may not be able to sneak up on them again”, Pidge interjects. “If they caught us last time, I’m sure that a ship with their capibilities has probably figured out to look for my cloaking signature”. As everyone starts to spit out ideas, Keith quietly goes over everything in his head. They couldn’t sneak up on the ship, because they’d probably be expecting it. But if they attacked head on, the ship could probably hold out enough to get away and they’d be back to square one. Hunk was starting to mention an idea about building an EMP cannon when it all clicked.

“What if we didn’t attack head on?” he said slowly. Keith looked up, gazing around at the team. “What if we just grabbed their attention?”

Pidge, seemed to consider his suggestion, frowning slightly as they rubbed their chin in thought. “I mean, if the command deck was too busy to notice the blip my cloaking signature might make, we could maybe sneak someone onboard”.

“True enough”, Allura adds, “but if we attack them and they don’t see all five lions, they’ll be suspicious”.

“What about the first cloaking job you did Pidge?” Hunk asks, “The one on the shuttle?” Pidge starts to nod excitedly. “Yeah! I can easily input my program into one of the shuttles”. Eyes lighting up they start to continue, “And I’m sure I could easily tell Green to stay in one spot and create a video loop and-”

“No”.

Pidge starts at Keith’s outburst, looking at him with round eyes. Keith knows he’s scowling right now but he could care less. “If anyone’s going to get Lance, it’s going to be me” he declares, practically growling. He hates that even as he says it, the eyes of everyone soften in sympathy. “Keith…” Allura starts softly.

“I don’t care what you guys think, or what you say” he spits out. “I’m the one that got Lance into this mess, I’m going to be the one that gets him out”. He glares defiantly at Allura from across the room, daring her to object. He see’s something flash across her eyes, and for a moment it looks like she might object. But then she sighs and nods. “Alright then”.

Keith relaxes at her agreement, not noticing he had tensed up before. As he takes a step back, he notices Shiro giving him a concerned look. He has one eyebrow raised as if to say, ‘are you sure?’. Keith sets his mouth into a determined line and inclines his heads. Shiro holds his gaze for a second longer, before finally turning back to hearing Pidge lay out their proposed plan. Keith pays attention to but only just. Most of his thoughts start to return to Lance, wondering how he was doing. As they work out the finalities in Pidges plan, he feels steely resolve growing in his gut. No matter what happened, he was getting him back.

 

“Okay… annnd done! That should be enough for us to work with”.

Keith relaxed, and stood up out of his pilot chair. Red obediently opened her mouth, allowing Keith to walk out into the hanger where Pidge and Hunk were editing the video footage they’d just taken.

“You sure this will convince them?” He can’t help but ask. Pidge rolls their eyes, “Well it was mostly your plan in the first place, so I hope so” they say dryly. They yelp as Hunk gives them a friendly smack on the shoulder. “Yes, it will,” Hunk says, ignoring Pidges grumbling. He turns to Keith, “we’re going to feed the video loop directly to Red’s communication systems”. At Keith’s confused look, he sighs and explains, “When the Galra open communication with us, the loop will start playing automatically once we connect to their channels”. Keith nods in understanding, though he can tell Hunk knows that he’s still a bit confused.

Shiro’s voice sounds from over head, “Alright gang, Allura’s opened the wormhole just outside what should be their detection capabilities, so let’s get to our stations”. As the loudspeakers click off, Keith shares a look with Hunk and Pidge. Both are looking nervous but determined. Not one for pep talks he picks up his helmet and turns. “Guess I better get going,” he says, already starting to walk towards where they had prepped the shuttle.

“Hey, Keith?”

Keith turns around as Hunk calls out to him. Hunk has an intense look on his face, his normally sunny disposition switched out for serious expression. For a second he doesn’t say anything, just lets his eye’s bore into Keith. Then his usual smile returns.

“You get him back for us ok?” Hunk shouts across the hanger. Keith doesn’t say anything, just nods, his face serious.

“You bet buddy” he responds. Hunk nods, satisfied, and then hurries over to where Yellow is waiting. Striding across the short distance, Keith climbs up into the shuttle. He can feel Red rumbling in the back of his head, her displeasure at not being able to come with him.

_‘You stay with the others ok?’_ he tells her, _‘we need to keep up appearances if this is going to work’_. Red growls in annoyance, sending Keith exactly what she thinks on the matter. Keith chuckles, _‘I’ll be fine Red, promise’_. She offers up an argument which just has Keith rolling his eyes. _‘I know you can pilot yourself. You’ve done it multiple times before’_.

At that, Red gives him a mental impression of what Keith can only call pouting.

_‘Come on Red, it’ll be fine’_. Even as he thinks it though, Keith takes a deep breath to center himself. Red must sense his unease because she starts purring. It’s a bit strange, having a giant space cat purr inside your head, but Keith still takes comfort in it. ‘ _Thanks girl’_ he thinks, sending waves of his gratitude towards her.

Keith thoughts are interrupted by Shiro’s voice coming in through the speakers of his helmet.

“Keith, you good to go buddy?”

Keith does a quick flight check of all the systems of the shuttle, “Yeah, everything looks good here”.

“Good” Shiro says, “Ok Keith now remember, only go- ”

“When Allura gives me the green light, got it” Keith huffs, they’ve been over the plan a million times in the few hours since they concocted it. “Right, and Pidge?” Pidge’s voice echo’s in Keith’s ear, only a slight bit of exasperation coming through.

“I have to be the one to make the communications connection, since I’m the one that starts Keith’s video loop”.

“Ok good” Shiro responds. “And Allura and I will try to stall negotiations for a long as possible”.

“Though keep in mind, at most we may be able to give you fifteen dobashes Keith” Allura adds quickly. Keith nods to himself, “fifteen dobashes, got it”.

“Alright then team, lets move out!”

Keith watches the lion’s respective hangar doors open as they depart one by one. Just as he’s about to start up the engines to prep, Shiro’s voice filters through his helmet.

“Keith” he starts, and judging from his tone, he’s speaking to Keith over a secure com link. “I know that we’re all hoping that this works…”

“Keith feels his anxiousness flare, “it’s gonna work Shiro” he interrupts angrily. _It has to_.

“I know” Shiro sighs, “but if it doesn’t…” He pauses. “You have to promise me to get off that ship Keith. With or without Lance”.

Keith goes cold. “… you can’t ask me to do that Shiro”.

“I only ask because I know what he means to you Keith,” Shiro says softly. “I know you want to get him back but… what help are you to him if you get captured too?” He doesn’t say it, but the unspoken _‘or worse?’_ stretches between them.

The silence is thick between them, Keith doesn’t want to think about, refuses too. He’s getting Lance back.

“Keith?”

At Shiro’s quiet promting, Keith swallows heavily.

“Fine”.

He doubts that Shiro really believes him, but he doesn’t say anything else. They must be getting close to the ship. Keith waits in silence, staring at the indicator light. He never gets nervous flying, not even when he tried his first simulation at the Garrison. But now, his palms feel clammy as he keeps readjusting his grip on the shuttles controls.

The light suddenly turns green, and Keith grips the controls and shoots out of the castle hangar. He hits the button that starts the cloaking for the shuttle, and quickly makes his way to the cruiser. He can see that the ship is stationary, all the lions hovering around it rather ominously. Getting closer, he can start to make out the scorch marks from laser fire, _‘good job Hunk’_.

He’s almost reached the side of the cruiser when his helmet coms crackle to life.

“ – ow Prince Lotor, I’m sure we can come to an agreement regarding your freedom”.

As Allura’s cold voice echos around him, Keith calms his beating heart. Someone must have opened an open com link with him. He could hear what was being said and could probably talk to the rest of the team, but they wouldn’t be able to talk to him, not without giving him away.

“If you guys can hear me” Keith whispers, “can Hunk move Yellows tail?”. Half a beat later, Keith see’s Yellow flick it’s tail. Assured that the team can hear him, Keith makes his way closer to the side of the ship. Putting the shuttle in hover mode, he moves to the back where the shuttles airlock is. He hits the button to open the doors and using his jetpack, manuvears to the side of the metal hull. He quickly scans it, looking for the area that Kolivan had mentioned would mostly likely be closest to where they would keep prisoners. Finding the marking indicating one of the ships vents, Keith jets himself over, pulling out his bayard.

He starts to make a cut around the vent, the going a little slow due to the double layers of metal around the vents seal. Over the sound of his cutting, Keith can make out the voice of what he can only guess is the ‘Prince’ guy that Allura is arguing with. He’s only half paying attention to the conversation, so when he hears a lull, he decides to quickly interject so that the team can hear him.

“Almost there guys. You guys still keeping the helm distracted?”

He waits for a response, but instead is met with silence. He figures that the team just can’t talk right now, or maybe shut off the com link so he goes to pry the vent off. Suddenly though, his helmet screen flickers and Keith can’t help but jump in surprise, almost dropping in bayard. His normal helmet screen has been replaced with a security feed. A security feed of the helm.

A tall Galra with long white hair stands at the forefront. Just from his posture alone, Keith can tell that this has to be the Galra Allura was arguing with. He’s staring directly at Keith, looking into the camera. He ‘tsks’ softly, shaking his head.

“Now, now Voltron. Where are your manners?”

Keith shakes with rage and fear of being found out. He’s not sure if the Prince can see him or not, but it doesn’t stop him from spitting out his challenge.

“Why don’t you come here and face me.” He snarls, low and deadly, “I’ll show you some real manners Prince”.

Keith is vibrating as the Prince just sighs, turning to a clocked figure to his left. “Well Trivake, I think it’s time to move up your initial schedule, hmm?”

At the mention of the figures name, Keith’s blood runs cold. This was the Druid that Kolivan mentioned. They seem to hesitate before responding.

“My lord, it may be unwise to start that stage of the treatment so soon after the last, the boy is barely recovered-”

Their cut off as the Prince snarls, “And I think Voltron needs a proper demonstration of what will happen if they don’t let us go”. Keith see’s the Druid nod, before he moves off to the side and-

Lance is standing there. Initially out of sight because of the camera angle and where the Druid was standing. In the brief moment Keith sees him, his heart clenches as he sucks in a breath.

Lance must not be able to see him, because his eyes flick from a spot over Keith’s shoulder, to where the Druid turns towards him. Since their back is turned, Keith can’t see what’s in the Druid hands. Whatever it is though, it has Lance’s eyes widening as he starts to struggle against the guards holding him. Keith has never seen such utter terror on Lance’s face before, it has him joining in with the rest of the team as they scream for Lance.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD, YOU GET AWAY- ”

“Lance! Lance NO!”

“Lotor, be reasonable! Please-“

“GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FRIEND YOU- ”

“Everyone calm down!”

The druid ignores them all, circling Lance, who is clearly starting to hyperventilate. He forces Lance’s neck down, and Keith can see the flash of what looks like a needle, before they’replunging it into the back of Lance’s neck between his vertebrae.

The Druid steps back, and for a second nothing happens.

Then Lance suddenly arches, his spine twisting in a horrible angle as he falls to his knees. He opens his mouth and _screams_.

It’s unlike anything he’s heard before, it doesn’t even sound human. Keith watches in silent horror as Lance falls to the ground and begins to writhe, still screaming. His hands are scratching at his neck, fingers stiff talons. Every muscle in his body is strained as he arches off the floor on nothing but his heels and his shoulder blades. Lance’s eyes are wide open, the blue of his iris practically lost amongst the whites in his agony.

Keith can do nothing but watch as Lance continues to scream and writhe before his eyes.

Just when Keith has had enough, preparing to call Red so he can go and blow the ship all to hell, Lance’s scream is abruptly cut off. His eye’s roll back in his head and his body goes deathly limp.

There’s a beat of silence. Then the Prince, who had turned to watch, turns back around, a cold smile on his face.

“Thank-you Trivake,” he says primly, “for that wonderful demonstration”.

Keith has felt rage before, is completely familiar with the warmth and rush it brings. But looking at the Prince, with that pleased look on his face, at the Druid, who stands almost proudly over Lance’s prone body, Keith feels nothing. Nothing but a cold emptiness inside.

“I’m going to kill you”.

He says it so simply. Almost conversationally. Yet Keith has never felt so convicted about something in his life.

If the Prince is startled or even afraid of Keith’s words, he doesn’t show it, instead just giving a quick blink. Then his gaze shifts from looking at Keith through the camera, to just behind his shoulder.

“Certainly a dramatic bunch aren’t you?” The Prince laughs. “Well, now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, I think we were discussing Voltron letting us go?”

Terse silence stretches out between all of them. Keith waits for the order, for Shiro or Allura to say to hell with it and attack the ship.

Instead, when no one says anything, the Druid crouches by Lances prone body. They withdraw another needle and a vial.

“Would you like another demonstration Voltron?”

Keith sucks in a breath while both Hunk and Pidge yell out “No!”. The Druid doesn’t withdraw the needle until Shiro speaks up.

“Yes, yes ok,” he says, sounding shaken. “We’ll pull back”.

Prince Lotor grins. “Excellent” He purrs. He snaps his fingers and the guards standing behind him step forward and pick up Lance from the floor. His head rolls listlessly, mouth slightly parted. He looks so pale, so still. Keith desperately tries to see if Lance’s chest is moving, the only indication that he’s still alive. Keith wants to scream as he watches them drag Lance from the room. Not caring if everyone could hear him, Keith starts arguing.

“Shiro. Shiro, you can’t be serious!”

“Keith pull back to the castle”.

Keith grips his bayard. “The hell are you doing? We can’t pull back now!”

Lotor interjects Keith’s fuming, “I’d listen to your leader Red Paladin, it’d be a shame if your friend had to go through quintessence injections twice today”.

Allura suddenly gasps at that. “ _You’ve done what_?” she asks, horror and anger intermingling in her voice. At Allura’s reaction, decides to resume trying to pry off the vent he was working on. If whatever they’re doing to Lance is enough to get that kind of reaction out of Allura, he needed to get in there.

“Keith! Pull back!” Shiro shouts at him.

“NO!” Keith yells back, shoving his bayard in the space he made and trying to leverage it off. As he strains against the metal, Lotors voice comes floating over his speakers again.

“Well, it’s been lovely chatting but we really must be off. Remember, if you try to stop us, your little boy blue gets a double treatment”. Through the screen on his helmet, Keith see’s the Prince turn around and stalk towards the doors.

“Captain, if you could start the warp drive procedure? Be quick about it, we have some rats to shake off our ship”.

Lotor flicks his hand, and the feed that Keith was seeing shuts off. Beneath him, he feels the ship start to vibrate, engines humming as they power up. It only makes him redouble his efforts, the metal coming away, but the hole still too small for him to crawl through.

“KEITH”.   
  
He ignores Shiro’s shout, gritting his teeth, struggling. _‘Almost there, almost there’_

“Keith if you don’t get out of there now, you’ll be ripped apart by their warp drive!” Hunk shouts. “Not yet!” Keith yells back, sweat beading at his temples. _‘I promised, I promised!’_

“Keith, you’re no use to Lance dead!”

It’s Allura’s shout that stops him. He pauses, panting inside his helmet.

“Trust me Keith, I know” she chokes out.

Keith floats there, feeling the subtle vibrations increase, the humming grow louder. Finally, he yells, slashing at the hull one last time before turning and pushing off the side of the ship. He gets through the shuttles air lock and slams into the pilot seat. He flicks the hover mode off and shoots away from the ship, just as it jumps and disappears.

Keith stares at the empty space where the ship was. Where Lance was.

“Keith… I - ”

He doesn’t hear the rest of whoever was taking, ripping off his helmet and throwing it to the back of the shuttle. There in the dark stillness of space, he screams.

 

 

With the Blue Paladin back in his cell, Trivake goes over results and lab notes in their room. It was slightly annoying, to have their treatment plan pushed up so quickly. The hadn’t planned to treat the central nervous system so soon in their experiment. But, they supposed, perhaps this was for the best. As long as the Paladin showed signs of adapting to it, they could easily move on to other procedures. And looking at the results from the scans they’d just taken… they could move on quite quickly indeed…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp... I did that. LANCE I'M SORRRRYYYY. >~< Oh and you know how people say it has to get worse before it gets better??? Yeah...   
> Hope you guys liked this chapter. I gotta say, trying to make believable mumbo-jumbo is hard. All that stuff to do with planning and tech? I made most of that up. I know that cause it's all futuristic and an animated show, I could very easily just wave my hands and be like 'this works cause SPACE' but I like trying to cover any potential plot holes or to try and make the randomness feel believable. Not sure about you guys, but I HATE it when books/films try to explain something away just by being like 'Oh it was magic! Or weird future science!" 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the comments and kudos! You're all amazing people and I hope you guys are having a great week and are EXCITED FOR SEASON 6 COMING OUT THIS FRIDAY!!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor and Trivake have a little 'chat' and Lance gets to wake up and be angsty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my beautiful people! Sorry for the slightly late update and not that long of a chapter. I was just busy these past two weeks first hanging out with my Dad for fathers day and then visiting my Nana. 
> 
> But, I did at least get something posted at the two-week mark so yay, go me! At this point, every little victory when it comes to writing and regular scheduling is fine by me. As always, I hope you enjoy this (albeit short) chapter and a huge thank you to everyone who is commenting and leaving kudos, you guys are GREAT!

As soon as the cold press of the needle hits Lance’s neck, he knows nothing but pain. It’s so sudden, there’s a moment of delay, his brain trying to reboot and figure out what its feeling. Once it does…

It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before. The pain he had felt shielding Coran from the bomb feels like a papercut next to this.

His thoughts dissolve into white static, nerves lighting up with agony. He’s being set _on fire_.

Yet even as his brain is consumed by the pain, Lance can feel himself thrashing, his limbs spasming as lightning arcs within his body. There’s a high pitched ringing in his head. He can’t think, he can’t think, he can’t-

Then suddenly he doesn’t have too.

 

Darkness. Oblivion. Sweet oblivion.

_“…ack to the cell..”_

Gentle movement, floating almost. He could just stay…

_“What…ow? He’s been like this_ fo _…”_

Part of him wants to wake up. Or is trying to.

_“_ rince _Lotor… look what he’s made me do…”_

No. No, waking up means… means…

_“been…. Days… still hasn…_ ved _…”_

It’s so nice here. But he’s starting to surface.

_“…Lord?...” “I’m sure…_ ust _do as I…..”_

He’s floating again. Feels like he’s back on his Tio’s boat, getting rocked by the waves. There’s air hitting his face, glowing lights behind his eyelids. There’s a light pressure on his wrists and ankles, then a coolness, a whisper of a voice and then

Nothing.

 

Lotor is going over some recent report Ezor sent him when Trivake shows up in his quarters unannounced.

“Normally, its more polite to announce oneself when you enter the personal chambers of your prince” he sighs, not bothering to look up from the screen he’s going over. Perhaps he should just let Zethrid bash the mechanics head in if he was being this slow with the manufacturing of- ”

“My apologies _sire_ ” Trivake mutters, disdain dripping off the title. “But I was simply coming to inquire into the meaning of where, in the name of the Daizbaal, is the blue paladin.”

Lotor almost has to hold back his surprise at the show of such emotion from the druid, whose voice has risen above a soft hiss. Practically shouting for them. Looking up, the prince isn’t surprised to see the tension radiating off the druid's body, their shoulders heaving ever so slightly. Keeping his face neutral, he looks away again as he flicks through the report.

‘Oh, well that is interesting’ “As I recall Trivake, you were frustrated with the lack of progress you were making on the boy” he says, smiling internally when he see’s Trivake clench his claws in obvious repressed anger.

“If his highness hadn’t insisted on such an advanced display so soon, then I would not be having these frustrations” they hissed lowly. “Even if the boy has strong blue quintessence and a high resonance factor, it takes time to have his biology adapt to these new levels”.

“And I am merely helping your test subject recover faster,” Lotor says as he flips pages, “you seemed to be unavailable when I messaged your quarters, so I simply had the paladin moved so as not to disturb you”.

Trivake is shaking now, only indicated by the slight rippling along the hem of their robes. “And you, oh wise prince” they snarl, voice low as they start to step towards him, “didn’t stop to consider the possible implications of what might happen if you put the paladin, who is recovering from accepting pure quintessence into their system, into a healing pod, which also injects the subject with a variant of quintessence?”

By now, the druid is almost looming over Lotor, body rigid as they stand on the opposite side of his desk. Lotor can just make out the eyes that hide under this mask, two pricks of silver that flash angrily. Trivake’s rage is palpable, the air starting to fill with a metallic scent along with a quiet hum.

Lotor is quiet as he stands. He doesn’t break eye contact with Trivake, even as he sees small sparks flashing between the druids claws.

“As I said”, he murmurs coldly, “you were unavailable. I made due without your council-“

“It was a risk that could’ve destroyed all my work!”

“A risk,” Lotor spoke, voice rising slightly, “that was calculated. While you are correct that the pods inject quintessence in order to speed up the process, it is a low-grade type of energy and very generalized, not localized like your experiments”.

Trivake says nothing. The staring match starts to drag on, and for a moment, Lotor can sense the air become more charged, the hum of electricity growing louder.

He wonders if Trivake will really do it; if he will strike down a royal of the Galra Empire.

In the end, the druid must decide its more trouble for them than its worth. They take a step back from the desk, the humming dissolving into silence.

“My apologies,” they say stiffly. They give a low bow, though the action is a pained one, going by their clenched hands. Straightening, they turn and leave without saying another word.

Lotor doesn’t sit down again until a few ticks have passed after trivakes departure. Settling back into his desk he can’t help but smile to himself. It’s always so fun to play around with the Witches little followers. Especially knowing they can’t do much. He might be out of favour with the Emperor, but he’s still the best successor that Zarkon has.

He taps his chin in thought. Still, it would be best to pay closer attention to Trivake. They’d probably be entering the doctrine phase soon enough, and if Lotor isn’t careful, the druid might do something foolish… like make their little experiment come after him.

Lotor returns to his paperwork, going over plans of his own.

 

Trying to crawl back from oblivion is like crawling through mud. Lance’s limbs feel heavy and weird, his head a muddled mess as he tries to come back to himself.

He rolls over with a groan. Every part of him is humming with a low-grade ache, emanating from his very bones. Opening his eyes, he’s not surprised to see himself back in his cell. What he is surprised about, is the rough blanket thrown over him. Then again, it’s probably hard for a druid to have plaything if it’s sick.

Pretty soon Lance has to shut his eyes again, the once dim purple light is now almost painfully bright, making his head throb in pain. In fact, everything seems to be…. _More_. It’s like someone had taken all of his sense, and like wires, had stripped them of their protective coating. It’s like his brain is overloading itself as it tries to process all the new information, making him nauseated.

So, Lance just lies there, the thin blanket doing little to warm him. He tries to remember things, trying to pieces things together despite the large gaps in his memory. He remembers… the druid. That they were doing something, something involving needles and his legs. Remembering that makes Lance inhale sharply; his legs. He remembers panicking, and noise, being dragged. The team… Voltron was there, he can remember seeing Keith’s face. Something…. Something must have gone wrong because the last thing he can fully remember is the image of the druid, robes flowing behind them as they had strode over. After…. It's just a jumble of sensations; the prick of cold against his neck, the feeling of his muscles locking up and the sound of… something. Like different voices overlapping each other.

Maybe if he just tries to stay still for a little bit, he’ll recover faster, get his feet back under him so to speak. Lance stays like that for maybe a grand total of five minutes, before he figures that it’s hopeless and that, moving or not, the frazzled and nauseous feeling he has isn’t going away anytime soon. 

Gritting his teeth, he rolls onto his stomach and pushes himself to his knees. He sways unsteadily for a second, before placing a hand on the wall and forcing himself to stand. The entire time he keeps his eyes closed and focuses on his breathing. It seems to take forever, but soon Lance is standing, though he leans heavily against the cool cell wall. Taking a breath, he opens his eyes.

Everything seems… off. Lance isn’t sure if it’s because of how disorientated he feels, but the cell looks different. He doesn’t know how he can tell, but there’s just enough of a difference that makes everything look wrong.

Looking around the room with unease, Lance can’t help but feel a flicker of déjà vu. He swallows heavily, before looking down at himself.

For the most part, he could almost fool himself into believing that everything is fine, that he still looks normal. But Lance, with all his small insecurities and somewhat obsessive behaviour in regards to his body, knows better. He knows that while he’s tall, last time he checked, his prisoner garb didn’t end at his shins or his forearms. And he definitely didn’t have the kind of muscle mass that he’s packing now. Still lean, but as the skin-tight suit oh so helpfully shows, all of his muscles bulge a bit more.

_‘Guess I can say I finally caught up to Keith’_

The thought hits him out of the blue, apparently the only thing his brain can come up with as he tries to comprehend what’s happened to his body. He can’t help the small laugh that huffs out of him. Then another. And another.

His mind is reeling, his body has probably been permanently altered and yet all he can think about is the fact that he could finally beat Keith in one of their sparring matches now. He can practically see Keith’s face, that look of shock as Lance threw him to the mat.

It’s such a stupid thing to be thinking of, he can’t help but laugh. Here he is, stuck in space, miles from home, having been through torture, and all he can think about, still, is beating Keith. It’s just so… normal for him, so out of place with where he is. By now, he’s laughing so hard it’s getting hard to breathe. He clutches at his sides as tears come to his eyes. In the middle of an intergalactic space war and on the enemy’s ship and all he can think about is his dumb rival.

His dumb rival with the stupidly soft looking hair, those bright violet-grey eyes that speak a thousand words, that annoying aloof nature and that stupid, stupid smile.

Lance’s breath catches in his throat then, and between one laugh and the next, it turns into a sob.

Then he’s sinking back down to the floor, clutching at his sides still, but now in a desperate attempt to hold himself together.

Why is he crying? He did _this_ to himself, he did this _for_ Keith. He knew the consequences, was prepared to face them with his usual false bravado and humour. But now, in this cold cell, in this unfamiliar body, all Lance feels is afraid.

Clutching at himself as he cries, all Lance wants is to go back home. Back to when the most he worried about was the flight simulator scores and his developing crush on Keith. He just wants to go back to Varadero beach, to eat garlic knots by the pier, to hear the music floating out of his parents’ kitchen.

Lance wants to go _home_.

He cries, slowly getting crushed amidst his sense of fear and loneliness. Yet through it all comes a small whispering thought.

_‘I hate them.’_

It’s so sudden and unbidden, that it actually startles Lance out of his spiral. No, no that’s… that’s not true. Finding the Blue lion, Allura, the team being pulled together, it was all some big weird coincidence.

_‘You still hate them’_ comes that small nagging voice. Lance brushes it away. He _does not_ hate Allura, or his team. _He doesn’t_. But even as he tries to convince himself, he feels that small dark part of him disagree.

_‘Allura could have let you go. She forced you to take up a fight that wasn’t yours’_

It’s barely for a moment, but the dark little voice seems to sound… pretty reasonable.

Then, it passes, and Lance shakes his head, trying to clear it of the dark fog that the thoughts had brought. It didn’t matter what he thought. He was stuck in this mess now, so he had to try and make the most of it, try and hold out for as long as he could.

Getting a few more hours of sleep seemed like the best option now, there wasn’t any food around, and Lance didn’t know when the next time he was dragged out of his cell would be. So, with nothing else to do, Lance laid his aching body down, trying to curl under the thin blanket again. He shut his eyes and tried not to think of his weird looking limbs or the vehemence that he heard from his own thoughts.

The sense of unease doesn't fade even as he faded from consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at my boy bein all angsty. But honestly though, I really do feel that the show (so far) has kind brushed a lot of the heavy stuff aside. Sure it might because its primarily a kids show, but are we seriously just not going to talk about how Keith almost sacrificed himself that one time??? Or how Lance kinda DIED in the last season?!? 
> 
> Eh, maybe its just me. 
> 
> But yeah, writing the end to this chapter was actually interesting for me, cause (even if the shows glosses over it) in reality, these are teenagers far from home having to deal with situations that most adults probably couldn't cope with. So I think Lance having a bit of a breakdown/cry fest is warranted at some point. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks again for continuing to read this fic, and to any of my fellow Canadians out there, hope you guys have a great Canada Day weekend! I myself am going home.... to help my mom plant trees... woo.   
> (but I'm DEFINITELY buying some fireworks *cackles*)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro reflects on the failed mission. Trivake decides to take Lance on a little outing. And Lance is starting to feel a little bit different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my beautiful people! Got another chapter for you this week, and hoo boy... Full warning and disclosure, this chapter is pretty violent. I am definitely taking full advantage of the blood and torture tag, but it's mostly in the second half of this chapter. 
> 
> I will admit that this chapter is probably the darkest so far. We get to see just how much Lance is changing and get hints at what Trivake (the dick) might have planned. 
> 
> So yeah, enjoy the angst!! BOY is it in there!

Shiro is polishing his armour when Allura pages him over the coms. Putting his chest plate aside, he hits the ‘accept call’ button from the terminal near his bed.

“Princess?”

“Shiro. Sorry to bother you” Allura’s voice fills the room, and Shiro can’t help but notice the edge of tiredness that seems to come with it.

“Nothing to bother,” he says, “just uh, polishing my armour”.

“Well,” Allura sighs, “if you’re not busy at the moment, do you think you could meet me up at the bridge? I want your opinion on some possible warping zones so we could try to get Pidges search algorithm in range”.

Shiro nods, already standing. “On my way”.

The coms naturally clicks off as Shiro leaves his room. As he makes his way to the bridge, he pauses before making a slight detour.

Getting closer to the training deck, Shiro feels his heart sink as he starts to make out the sounds of metal clashing against each other. Opening the door to the training area, Shiro takes in the sight of Keith jumping on another training drone.

If his brother notices him, he doesn’t acknowledge it. Already pulling out his sword of the drone he just jumped on and flipping out of the way as another takes a charge at him.

Shiro frowns as he watches Keith’s fight. He can tell that Keith is exhausted, more so than usual. But that’s really not that surprising when he’s been here non-stop since they got back from their failed rescue attempt.

Shiro can still remember going to get Keith out of his lion after they had landed back in the hangar.

_The rest of the team had already gotten out of their lions, everyone except Keith. The Red lion had been the last to arrive at the hangar, and after touching down, hadn’t moved._

_“You guys go on ahead,” Shiro told them gently, trying to ignore the devastated looks on all their faces. Pidge was silent and glaring, hands clenched into fists at their side. It hurt Shiro to see how much they were trying not to cry. Hunk, on the other hand, kept wiping away tears even as he tried to clench his jaw. Allura just looked… tired, spent. But at the same time, Shiro could see that spark that he’d come to associate with her. He guessed she was already trying to come up with another plan. But even after Shiro’s gentle suggestion, nobody moved._

_“Go” he tried to say more firmly, keeping his own mask in place, “Get some food. We’ll regroup in a few minutes and… debrief about what happened”._

_Pidge open their mouth to say something, most likely a cutting retort. But at a tired look from Shiro, they snapped their mouth such before turning and walking away stiffly._

_As the rest of the team followed Pidge, Shiro turned towards the red lion. It sat motionlessly, eye’s dimmed. Taking a deep breath, Shiro walked up to it._

_“Please,” he said in a quiet whisper._

_For a second there was nothing, almost as Red was debating something. Then, the lion opened its large jaws, allowing Shiro to step inside. Shiro silently sent Red his thanks and made his way up to the pilot seat._

_What he saw made his heart wrench in his chest._

_Keith sat in the pilot’s seat. He was silent, hands still clenched around the control sticks._

_“Keith?”_

_He flinched, the only indication he heard him but didn’t move. Shiro noticed how his entire body was tense, like a strung wire. He slowly moved closer._

_“Keith… the rest of the team is waiting…”_

_Shiro moved to go put his hand on Keith's shoulder but before he could Keith mumbled something. He paused, “Keith, I’m sorry, what did-“_

_Suddenly Keith was whirling on him, “I said, WHY DID YOU STOP?”_

_Keith was panting heavily, his rage simmering below the surface. And the look on his face…_

There’s an awful screech of twisting metal as Keith pulls his sword out again. It’s slower this time though, and he doesn’t quite get it out fast enough to be able to block the next drone that drops from the ceiling. Shiro winces as he see’s Keith take a hit to his side, sending him rolling across the room. As he watches Keith struggle to get up, he decides to step forward.

“End simulation”

The droids in the room power down, parts of the floor opening up to take them back to wherever they’re stored. Keith manages to get back on his feet but doesn’t even look up as Shiro draws closer. He stops a few feet away.

“You have to stop doing this Keith,” he says, as gently as he can. Keith still doesn’t say anything, just moves his head to one side. Shiro sighs.

“Keith… I know you’re frustrated, worried. We all are”. Shiro takes a step closer. “But working yourself to death in here isn’t going to help anyone, least of all Lance”.

Shiro sees Keith tense at his words. At his rigid posture, all Shiro want’s to do is wrap his brother in a hug. He knows that failing the mission has taken the greatest toll on Keith, that and his current inability to do anything. Shiro feels it too. He had promised himself that he would do everything in his power to prevent any of these kids going through what he did. But he’d failed.

Clamping down on the surge of guilt, Shiro tried to reach out for Keith. “Keith, just… come and get something to eat, please?...”

But before Shiro even touched him, Keith jerked away from him. He kept his face towards the ground as he spoke, “I’m not hungry”. Shiro felt his face fall, “Keith…”

Keith spun around. “I said I’m not hungry Shiro”, he spat, “just… leave me alone”. Shiro went to take another step…

“Please”

Shiro’s heart clenched at hearing the whispered plea that came from Keith's mouth. His shoulders were hunched up to his ears, and even though he had a white-knuckle grip on his Bayard, Shiro could see that it shook faintly.

He stepped back. “Ok Keith”.

As Shiro heard the training room doors close behind him, he heard Keith call out “Begin level 10 training”. Heart heavy as he made his way to the bridge, Shiro kept replaying the look he had seen on Keith’s face.

It was one of loss.

 

When Lance woke up again, he was greeted with the familiar sight of the walls of his cell.

Huh. Familiar.

He sat up with a small hiss, small aches all over his body from sleeping on the hard floor. Pushing the thin blanket away, he stood up so he could stretch a little bit better. Lifting his arms above his head, he tried to mentally categorize everything he felt, closing his eyes and focusing on where things ached or hurt, instead of focusing on the overall pain. It was something that Keith had taught him to do. He still remembers when he asked Keith about it when he had come out of the Mamoran base looking more like an old punching bag than a human.

_“How are you still able to walk, man?” Keith had just huffed, kept limping his way to his room._

_“I dunno, just don’t focus on the pain I guess”. Lance had screwed up his face at that._

_“Don’t focus on the- hell Keith, you look like you just tried to fight an army all by yourself!”_

_Keith laughed, more of a bark really, “Yeah, you could say that…” Lance had to force himself not to smack Keith upside the head. Lance must have made a face, because Keith had just sighed and said, “Look, its like I just… focus more on where the pain is coming from than focus on feeling it. If I know where it’s coming from, I can deal with it”._

Lance focused on his breathing first, before focusing on moving his limbs. There wasn’t any screaming pain like before, more of a deep muscle ache. In fact… he kinda feels… great. Opening his eyes, Lance took a look at himself again. There was still a feeling of nausea when he looked down at himself, but Lance forced it down. He felt weirdly energetic, like when he had drunk too much of Hunks weird space coffee. He shook out his arms and bounced on his feet a bit, trying to displace the excess energy he felt. When that didn’t work, he started to pace. He was actually surprised that no one had come to grab him yet, from the past few times he was in here it seemed like as soon as he woke up and started moving around, the druid came to get him.

Lance walked around a little bit more, but pacing the floor of a small cell gets old pretty fast. Plus, it didn’t really seem to be doing anything, he could still feel a thrum of energy underneath his skin. Though he didn’t really want to, Lance glance back down at himself, at his new amount of muscle mass. The spandex-like prisoner suit really didn’t leave much to the imagination, and well…. At least he finally knew what he would look like with a six-pack.

He might as well try this new body out, right?

Lance’s stomach twisted with the idea. He shouldn’t, he would be playing the druid’s game if he did, acting like he just accepted this. But at the same time, it wouldn’t hurt to get used to himself again. He did sorta feel like he was back in high school, trying to get used to his suddenly longer limbs.

Feeling a little bit foolish, Lance tried throwing a couple of punches. He wasn’t good at hand to hand by any means, not like Keith or Shiro anyway. But at least Keith had taught him how to throw a proper punch. Lance threw some half-heartedly, and without really trying, his hand flew through the air. He blinked in surprise. He… he’d never been that fast before. Feeling a little curious, Lance decided to throw out a combo Keith had showed him.

This wasn’t like anything he felt when he was training with Keith. Sure, he was only punching air right now but _man_ , he could tell he was fast. Growing weirdly confident, Lance started to move around a bit, going through the few motions Keith had taught him. Lance was sure he looked stupid but who cared? He had nothing else to do being trapped in here and…. he just felt like he was full of energy, power. He felt himself starting to grin.

He wondered what he looked like right now, probably way different from that gangly Cuban teen that he used to be. No, he probably looked like a badass right now, like Keith did when he was fighting, or Shiro. Man, if he thought he could take Keith on before then he could definitely take on Shiro now! He could see it, just the surprise on Shiro’s face as they sparred, as he punched him across the room and as he-

_Finally smashed his stupid scarred face in._

The thought came out of nowhere, dousing Lance like a bucket of ice water. He stopped mid throw, panting. He realized that he was still grinning, his face hurting from how wide it was stretched. Lance quickly clamped his hands over his mouth, as if that could stop the fact that he was _still grinning_.

_He could see it, feel it. The power as he kept driving his fist into Shiro’s stupid face, bones crunching under his knuckles, warmth blooming over his hands as blood-_

Lance gagged as he saw the image in his own head. He hit the wall behind him as he staggered back as if he could run away from what he just saw.

_‘What. What was that?’_

Lance started to tremble. That… that wasn’t him, was it? There was no way that he would actually think of doing something like that to Shiro. Lance had never been a violent person, had he? Lance could the feel the familiar sense of fear weigh in his gut. The energy that had been pleasantly thrumming under his skin now feels like an ominous buzz in the back of his head.

“Excellent”.

Lance whirls around at the voice, only to find the Druid standing in the doorway of his cell. He hadn’t even heard it open.

The druid does that damn head tilt again, “It would appear that the new biotic adaptions have merged quite nicely”.

Lance doesn’t bother to question the sudden rage that rears inside of him. He finds himself snarling, lunging for the druid-

Only to hit the back of his cell instead, too surprised to let out anything more than a gasp as electricity arcs through him. His head is still ringing with white noise as a galra drone pulls his arms back, slaps on some restraints and hauls him to his feet. The ringing in his ears eventually fades, only to be replaced by the sound of the druid talking as they walk down the dimly lit hallways.

“…very interesting. I’ll admit, I’m surprised that you managed to withstand such a high level of quintessence injection so early on in your treatment.” The druid sounds almost excited. Like a kid getting a chemistry set for Christmas. They glance back over their shoulder at Lance, “Perhaps this means I could be more lenient with the dosage…”

The druid is already turning back around before Lance can ask what the hell _that_ means. Being shoved along behind the druid, Lance can’t help but notice that they’re almost the same height now. _‘Well isn’t that just great?’._

Lance figures that he’s being led to the ‘room’ for another ‘session’, so he keeps his mouth shut and keeps walking. Better to save his strength for later. Except instead of leading Lance to his little ‘room’, the druid doesn’t stop walking down corridors until they hit (what looks like) a service elevator. The druid scans their hands on the panel beside the elevator, which open the doors. The druid steps in first, Lance getting shoved in behind them. The druid presses a few symbols and the doors shut, the elevator humming as it starts to move. It’s hard to tell in the enclosed space, but Lance has a feeling that they're going down.

“Hmm, I was wondering when you’d show me your murder dungeon,” he says nonchalantly, wanting to fill the silence. The druid of course, says nothing.

“So where are we going exactly?” Lance asks, trying to sound bored. “Let me guess… the pool?”

The druid just glances at him, “we are going somewhere where we won't be disturbed” they say simply. Lance raises an eyebrow. _‘Well, that isn’t creepy at all…’_

Lance tries his best to keep his face an image of boredom. Internally though, Lance can’t help how his heart rate speeds up. If the druid was taking him someplace to keep him away from prying eyes… well, that’s not good no matter how you slice it.

When the elevator doors finally open with a hiss, Lance swallows nervously. He doesn’t have the luxury to hesitate though, the drone already shoving against his restraints forcing him forward.

They step out into a huge room. It’s even more dimly lit than the rest of the ship, and Lance can just make out the shapes of storage containers, the little light there reflected across the metal surfaces. Lance’s footsteps echo in the large space as he gets led to the center of the room. The druid stops, holding up a hand. The drone shoving him forward clamps down on the forearm behind his back, forcing Lance to stop moving. The druid moves off to the side, pulling out a small tablet-like device. Their fingers fly over the screen and suddenly there’s a loud creaking sound from in front of Lance.

Lance squints into the shadows in front of him, trying to find out where the sound is coming from. Before he can pinpoint it, he finds himself being shoved forward, just barely managing to catch himself from falling. He turns around with a retort as the lights suddenly get blasted into full brightness. He winces, blinking spots from his eyes. That’s when he see’s what was hiding in the shadow in front of him.

Standing in front of him is a large humanoid alien. It stands well over Lance’s new height, it’s skin a motley colour of greens, blues and oranges. It has an elongated face, almost like a snout. A snout that has lots and lots of teeth. It’s currently chained up to one of the containers, arms raised slightly above its head, chains connecting from its wrists to a collar around the alien’s neck. Lance takes one small hollow sounding step backwards.

The aliens head snaps up at the sound, opening its eyes. And Lance doesn’t know whether to try running or go a comfort the thing. Because though the alien’s eyes are orange and reptilian, they look at Lance with resigned hopelessness. Looking at the alien chained up across from him, Lance feels fear expanding in his chest as the clarity of the situation hits him.

He takes another step back, only to yelp and jumps forward again as a small shock travels up his spine. Looking over his shoulder, Lance’s eyes go wide upon seeing the small electric force field that’s appeared behind him.

“The following will be a test of the subject new physiological levels,” the druid says, speaking clearly. “This is the first test after the original organic structure has been altered with quintessence injects to the main nervous system and primary muscle structures”.

Lance doesn’t like the sound of that. “H-hey, what do you mean first test-”

The druid moves on, ignoring him. “This test will also determine subject’s aggression levels under extreme duress”.

Lance’s heart starts to beat faster. Aggression levels? Could the druid know anything about what happened in his cell earlier?

He doesn’t have much time to wonder, cause the druid is already tapping away on the tablet and the chains that are holding the larger alien to the wall, pop open and fall to the ground with a clang. Lance turns to face his soon to be opponent, already starting to crouch into a more defensive position. The alien looks confused, rubbing its wrists slowly. It looks over Lance’s head to peer at the druid.

Lance doesn’t bother turning around, but his blood turns cold when he hears the druid speak.

“Defeat him, and I fulfill the terms of our agreement. You and your family’s freedom”.

At that, the alien's reptilian eyes go wide. The hopelessness from before quickly being replaced by a fierce desperation. It glares at Lance, letting their hands drop to their sides as a low threatening growl rumbles from their chest. Lance gulps.

He raises his hands slightly, “Look man, I know you’re doing this for your family but I really don’t want to fight…”

Lance never finishes his sentence, the air gets knocked from his lungs as a huge alien fist slams into his ribcage. He goes flying, hitting the force field behind him which shocks him before he falls to the ground. Lance gasps in pain, he thinks he might have just broken a rib. He looks up and only just manages to scramble out of the way and the as large alien lunges again. He quickly backpedals, looking around for anything that could be just as a weapon. There’s nothing. Just the smooth metal floor, the looming size of the containers and the sparking force field. Seeing the alien start stalking towards him again, Lance tries pleading with him again.

“Buddy, please! I don’t want to do this!”

If anything, that just makes the determination in the alien's eyes burn brighter. It's growling get louder as it flicks out its arms, showing needle pointed claws. It takes a swing at Lance as it gets closer, which Lance manages to doge again, but he isn’t able to dodge the sidekick that comes right after.

Thrown across the little arena again, Lance slides across the floor and hits one of the containers, bashing his skull. He’s dazed for a second, and that’s all it takes for the larger alien to cross the floor and pull Lance up by the throat. Lance starts to choke, blunt fingers scrabbling uselessly at the thick skin of the alien's arms. He thrashes, trying to get free but the alien just squeezes tighter, it’s claws beginning to prick the skin of Lance’s throat.

Terror fills him. Lance looks at the alien with pleading eyes.  _‘I don’t wanna die!’_

“P-please” he gasps out. For a moment, the alien actually looks remorseful.

At the aliens look, feeling the fingers around his neck squeeze tighter, Lance can’t help but feel… disappointed. Guess he was nothing but the team weakling after all. He closes his eyes, listening to the frantic beat of his heart in his ears.

_No._

_Fuck that. We’re not weak. Pathetic, but not weak._

Lance can feel his lungs burn from lack of oxygen, but he feels another warmth in his chest. One of rage. His eyes shoot open again, staring at the alien in front of him. The alien blinks in obvious surprise, not expecting the growl that comes from Lance's throat.

_You have the strength. USE IT._

Using his sudden burst of adrenaline, Lance rears his head back, before shooting forward and biting the alien's snout in front of him. He clamps down and shakes his head back and forth till he feels liquid burst in his mouth.

The alien releases him with a cry of pain, letting Lance drop as he flounders backward. Lance sucks in a few heaving breathes, spitting out the alien's blood at the same time. He looks up at the alien, who now has weird yellow blood oozing from the bite Lance had made. It blinks like it can’t believe that Lance had just done that.

And that just pisses Lance off.

With a snarl, Lance launches himself at the alien. He goes low, slamming into the lower half which sends them careening into the side of another container. The alien must still be shocked from Lance going on the offensive, as it struggles to get it’s arms up to block the punches that Lance throws.

With every hit that makes contact, Lance feels his blood start to sing.

_Who’s the weak one now? Who’s the afraid one now?_

God, this power. Lance has never felt this way in his life. Alive, and strong and… beating the shit out of somebody.

The thought is enough to make Lance hesitate, which the alien must sense because it braces against the container before bringing its legs up to kick Lance in the chest. It sends Lance skidding but this time he drops to the floor, using a hand to grip and slow his momentum.

_That all you got?_

Lance can feel a kind of fog descend in his brain. Distantly, he thinks it kinda feels like what happened earlier. He shakes the thought away, focusing on the alien in front of him who is now prowling around him warily.

Lance finds himself mirroring the alien's movements, circling, waiting for an opening. He sees the aliens arm twitch, betraying his intentions to move. Lance bolts forward, going under the clawed arm that swings at him and driving all of his weight behind his fist as he brings it up.

The force of his swing is enough to make the alien stagger back, giving Lance some space. Without thinking, Lance aims a kick at the alien's right knee. There’s a loud snap, and the alien gives a garbled cry of pain as it sinks to the floor. Lance smirks.

The alien makes a try to stand on his other leg, but Lance just winds up and kicks that one too. With another loud snap, the alien falls to the floor. It makes small, whimpering sounds. Trying to crawl back from Lance. Lance finds himself advancing slowly, as a sneer makes its way onto his face.

_Feels good, doesn’t it? Being the one who wins?_

_Yeah. Yeah, it does._

Lance looms over the alien whimpering on the floor. It starts to put its hands up in a surrendering gesture as Lance straddles its chest.

_Go on then. Finish it. Let's show them the real strength of the blue paladin._

Lance smiles. Then rears his arm back and start pummelling the face of the creature he sits on. It’s just like he imagined. The feeling of fist hitting bone, the sting as the skin of his knuckles split. The feeling of blood splattering on his face….

His vision starts to go hazy, the fog wrapping his mind like a blanket. Then between one punch and the next, the alien is suddenly replaced with Keith’s face.

Lance freezes. For a second, all he can see is Keith’s bloodied face staring up at him, dark eyes the only thing visible amongst the blood and broken skin. Keith is looking up at Lance with pure terror in his eyes, Lance… Lance can see that Keith thinks that he’s going to kill him. And for one, complete clear moment Lance hears a voice in his head go,

_Good._

Lance launches himself off the alien like he was burned. He scrambles away, suddenly aware of hard he’s breathing, the warmth spreading across his hands and his face. He looks down at his hands, not quite able to stop the horrified gasp that comes from his mouth.

His hands are soaked in yellow, viscous blood.

He forces himself to look back over at the alien. They’re almost unrecognizable now. Knees bent at strange angles, yellow splattering across the floor where their head is. The only indication that their still alive is the faint wheezing breaths they take through their mangle snout. Lance sucks in a shaky breath. And another.

Then leans over to the side and hurls.

But the burn of acid does nothing for the horror and disgust that he feels, for the sickening warmth of blood on his skin.

He’s still retching when he hears the even footsteps of the druid approach him. Lance looks up.

The druid stares back down at him, doing that fucking puppy head tilt.  Like Lance just made a weird noise instead of… what he just did.

The druid reaches out a hand, making Lance flinch. He stays utterly still and the hand comes closer. As he feels foreign claws on the top of his scalp, Lance wants to throw up again.

The druid is patting him. Like a pet.

“Good job” they murmur. They sound pleased. Lance retches.

Stepping away from him, the druid snaps their fingers. Lance barely registers as the drone comes over and snaps his restraints on him again. He just stares off into the distance, trying to look at anything but his hands.

Out of the corner of his eye, Lance sees the druid approach the alien still lying on the floor. The druid looks down at the mess, shakes their head once. They raise their hand.

Lance opens his mouth, “w-wait…”

His plea is drowned out as lighting shoots from the druids hands. The body twitches once, then goes still. Then they start to calmly walk back towards the elevator, pulling out their tablet.

“Fist test is a success”, they announce clearly, “test subject is adapting well to new physiological adjustments”. They pause, “however, it seems that mental conditioning needs to be re-enforced for more efficient results”.

Lance jerks his head up at that. Re-conditioning. That means the ‘room’.

“Please…” he whispers. The druid just keeps walking.

 

“The first phase is complete. Moving onto phase two”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of your that skipped that last little bit, there's basically a fight scene between Lance and a random Alien where Lance gets a little too caught up in the fight and kinda loses his shit and almost beats the guy to death. Yay fun times.
> 
> As always, thank you SO MUCH for leaving comments, kudos and bookmarking this fic! Sorry for the slightly delayed posting schedule, I am currently trying to move from my university rez, into an actual house that I'm going to be renting (it has been a hell of a process). 
> 
> Please let me know what you guys think, as this work in unbeta'd and I just love hearing from you guys!
> 
> Love you guys, and hope you're all having an awesome summer. ^_^


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trivake is pleased about the outcome of their little experiment and decided to push their agenda forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So sorry for this late update! But I was busy these last couple of weeks with work, my birthday and then moving apartments. You will never realize how slow an elevator is until you're carrying your entire life in a giant box in your arms... Also, in moving to this new place, I haven't had wifi for a couple of days, so I couldn't use my computer :( 
> 
> But here is a new chapter, entirely from the perspective of our lovely creepy druid, Trivake!!! Yay, right??? I'm not going to lie, I actually had a bit of fun writing this chapter, both in trying to figure out how all of this is going to fit and covering plot points and just because I guess I like writing villains?
> 
> Thank you as always, for the comments and kudos! Hope you guys are having an awesome summer!!

The boy is quiet as Trivake walks him back to their lab. His eye’s, that had once stared at Trivake in a myriad of expressions, is now blank and listless. It brings a smile to their face.

  
Soon. They were so close now.

  
To say they were pleased with their recent test results would be an understatement. If there were any other druids on board, they would see small flickers of corrupted quintessence floating around Trivake, their pleased excitement taking form. They had been worried after the little incident with Lotor and his interference. The boy's body could’ve been overloaded with quintessence too soon, his new biological augmentations ripping him apart if he so much as winked. But in the end, Trivake’s fear turned out to be unfounded. The boy had responded magnificently.

  
Seeing such a raw display of physical power… and being the one who had created it…. Trivake hadn’t felt these kinds of emotions in deca-pheobs. Not since they had been first assigned as high priestess Haggar’s assistant.

  
If they were the one who could finally deliver Voltrons downfall to the hands of Haggar, it would be the achievement of a lifetime. They would finally get the recognition they deserved, finally have the power, the authority…

  
Trivake stops themselves. They mustn’t get too far ahead of themselves, there was still the brat prince to deal with. Trivake wasn’t blind, they saw how the prince had gazed hungrily after the boy after they had taken him out of the healing cryo-chambers. They weren’t the only ones on board that craved power.  
And what power Trivake would have if he could get the paladin under their heel. Stronger and faster than the Champion, with the bloodthirstiness of a druid and of course, the ability to infiltrate Voltron.

  
Trivake breaks out of their musing long enough to scan their hand at the entrance to their lab. They enter, quickly getting the restraints on the experimenting table ready. It speaks of how much Trivake has succeeded in moulding the paladin, that he doesn’t even fight as the drone Trivake conscripted leads him to the table. There’s still yellow blood on the boy's face and it clashes with his dark skin and blank blue eyes. It stands as a reminder of how powerful he is now.  
The restraints in place, Trivake waves the drone out of the way before going to stand in front of the boy. The boy doesn’t look up, but Trivake knows that he recognizes the druids presences going by how his shoulders tense up.

  
For a few doboshes, Trivake merely observes their project. The boy’s quintessence is still blue, though Trivake is happy to see the growing layer of corruption that surrounds it. It sits on top like a layer of machine oil, black and sticky, sometimes dripping and blending with the blue but for the most part staying separate. Trivake sighs internally. Even though the boy has a high resonance factor, something that should make blending quintessence easier, there is still resistance. Though from what Trivake could glimpse during the fight, it seemed to merge slightly under high stress as they predicted.

  
The boy must get tired of waiting because Trivake sees his fists clench a second before his head snaps up, his face scrunched in anger as he snaps, “What the hell are you looking at?”

  
Trivake leans back smoothly. The boy's eyes flit across their mask, desperation and fear shining from his eyes despite the angry façade he tries to pull. Good. His mind is clearly warring with itself, that makes it unstable and that much easier to enter. Though, the defences that the paladin had tried to put up in the past were laughable at best.

  
Hoping to add to their subjects instability, Trivake leans back in. Relishing in how the boy doesn’t quite keep from flinching.

  
“I’m curious” they purr, “how do you like your new adjustments?”

  
The boy's eyes go from warry to narrowed as he registers the druid's words. “You and your adjustments” he spits “can go fuck themselves”.

  
Though the boy can’t see it, Trivake grins under their mask. Increased levels of aggression. Good.

  
“You really should be more grateful,” Trivake says, “If not for my intervention, you would still be the useless cog that had the luck of being called the ‘blue paladin’. Now, you are well on your way to be being my life’s greatest achievement and a new champion for the Galra empire”.

  
The boy actually snarls, and Trivake notices how the layer of corruption starts to weave a bit more into the boy’s quintessence. They turn away from the table, heading to the table at the back of the room where the boy can’t see. As he goes the boy cranes his head, hissing at him.

  
“News flash buddy, I’ll never be anything for the Galra Empire. And the only thing you’re going to be remembered for is for being _fucking crazy_!”

  
Trivake ignores the obvious insult, instead of retrieving the now full vial from where he had left it to collect earlier. It’s a slow process, collecting and then concentrating ones own corrupted quintessence. But this way, there would be no question as to whom the boy could be controlled by. They had been close to starting the process on their previous project, but then, of course, Voltron interfered. However, Trivake can’t complain. In the process of losing one subject, they had gained one that fits their needs much better.

  
Trivake draws the black substance into the injection gun, making sure to keep it hidden in the folds of their robes as they saunter back around to the boys front. Surprising the boy hadn’t quite been necessary the first few times they had injected him, but the nature of this quintessence calls for a different approach. Trivake has to make sure that the boy is unstable, as it would allow for the dark energy to get past the boy's resistance and let his high resonance factor start to merge the two types of quintessence together.

  
The boy is scowling when Trivake appears in front of him again. He might be continuing his brave front but since Trivake can see the swirling storm of his quintessence, it does little to impress the druid.

  
Trivake considers their subject quietly, cocking their head to one side as they do. They’ve noticed that the little action seems to be rather off-putting to the blue paladin. As they stare, the boy’s mouth turns into another snarl and his quintessence flares in agitation. He opens his mouth to speak, probably another insult, but Trivake interrupts him first.

“It’s a shame you don’t see how magnificent you are” they state simply.

  
The boy continues to glare at him.

  
“Truly, I was telling the truth when I said you could be the Empires next champion. More so than Shiro.”

  
At the mention of the name, the boy’s eyes widen for a second before he attempts to keep his face neutral. At his reaction, Trivake smiles to themselves. They knew that probing the boy’s memories would be useful in the conditioning process.

  
“Oh yes”, they continue, “with your natural qualities, you are well on your way to becoming greater than anything Shiro could’ve been”.

  
“Shut up”.

  
The boy seems to tremble with rage, but Trivake can sense it. The guilt. The fear.

  
“Come now. You really should thank me, paladin. Like this, maybe you’ll finally impress that Keith of yours”.

  
The boy pales at that. Trivake almost doesn’t need to cast his quintessence out to feel what the boy is thinking.

  
Fear, loathing, disgust.

  
_Smugness_.

  
And that… that is what Trivake has been waiting for. They see how the corrupted layer of quintessence start to drip and swirl more with the boy’s own blue energy.

All those lovely insecurities, like cracks in a shield. It really wasn’t all that hard to figure the boy out after running around his mind all those times. Just apply a little more pressure, a bit more corruption to those dark hidden emotions…

  
Like a predator sensing death, Trivake continues talking. “Indeed, I wonder what the rest of your precious team will think of you now? With this power, you can finally put them under your command. I imagine it’d be very hard to forget you if they feared you.”

  
The boy starts to strain against the table. “Shut up!” He cries, and Trivake notes the edge of desperation in his voice, the way the corruption sinks deeper.

  
“I know you’ve thought about it” they sing-song, the boy not noticing as the draw their hand into their robes. “You’ve thought about how nice it would be, them grovelling at your feet. Finally appreciating the strength you bring. Is that what you imagined earlier? Did it feel good to finally bash someone's skull in? To make them as pathetic as you feel?”

  
“SHUT UP!” the boy roars. The boy’s quintessence is a swirling storm of corruption and flashes of blue. His eyes are squeezed shut as if by blocking out the sight of them he can escape. Triake grips the injection gun.

  
“It did, didn’t it?” they whisper, so close to the boy now, “to finally have something fear you instead of being afraid all the time”.

  
Trivake watches raptly as the two energies fighting merge for a brief second. At the same time they do, the boy goes rigid before opening his eyes, now a dark indigo, snarling with a grin,

  
_“Yes”._

  
Quicker than thought, Trivake draws the injection gun and slams it into the paladin's chest. The paladin has a second to look surprised before Trivake pulls the injection trigger.

  
The effect is instantaneous. Trivake steps back as the boy’s now indigo eyes nearly pop out of his head. He throws his head back and howls. He keeps howling in pain and rage as his body thrashes against the table and his restraints, hard enough to make the metal groan.

  
Watching the scene, distantly, Trivake can’t help but be slightly grateful. If not for all their previous test subjects, they would’ve never realized that the body needed enhancements to withstand the pure power of the corrupted quintessence.

  
The boy continues to thrash and writhe. Trivake observes how his nails turn into Galra talons, his canines becoming more prominent. By now, the quintessence surrounding the boy is such a dark blue it’s almost black, flaring out like lighting. At the same time Trivake notices this, the boy’s howls start to turn into laughter.

  
His eyes flash open again, iris’s dark and glowing at the same time. His face contorts into something maniacal as his laughter goes past frantic and straight into crazed.

  
He flexes his hands, claws scraping against the metal table as the boy’s body seems to start to relax. Trivake is transfixed as the boy’s darkened energy stops flaring, settling down. Completely merged.

  
Trivake doesn’t think they felt this ecstatic since they first got chosen to join the Druid order.

  
It worked. It’s all they can think as they watch the boy’s laughter quiet into high-pitched giggles. They’ve achieved the impossible – they’ve merged two different types of quintessences together, creating an entirely new type of energy.

  
It’s almost like their subject senses their thoughts. The boy’s head snaps over to them, completely different from the terrified boy from before.

  
Their subject grins. Sharp and feral. The boy cocks an eyebrow as they look Trivake up and down.

  
“ _BOY_ , that sure packed a punch hey?” Trivake is somewhat taken aback by the subjects joking tone. The boy looks down at himself, wiggling his toes.

  
“But I gotta say, thanks for the upgrade drui-boy”. The boy shows another sharp grin as Trivake bristles at the title of ‘boy’. “You were not kidding about that power, were you?”

  
Inside their mask, Trivake frowns. They didn’t expect their subject to be so… _vocal_ , after this last injection. Their own corrupted quintessence should’ve done more than merge the two energies, it should have made the subject answerable to them.

  
Trivake decides to test it. “You will be silent”, they command in an even voice. The boy raises a bemused eyebrow. “Oh, so that how we're playing it, is it?”  
As Trivake scowls, the boy throws his head back in laughter once more.

  
“Man, you think that just because what, you ‘created’ me that I’m going to roll over?” the boy asks incredulously. They fix the druid with a pointed sneer. “You’re more of a crazy bastard than I thought”.

  
Their subjects sneer turns into something more serious as they continue, “you think I just what? Popped into existence?” The boy gives a dark chuckle, “I’m a packaged deal drui-boy, bit of him and you. And don’t think I just forgot about what you did to me”.

  
The metal table groans and the electric restraints buzz as the boy leans as far as he can against the things holding him down. “I remember every second of it” he hisses, his expression losing any sort of false amusement, “and when I get out of here, you’re gonna get it back ten-fold buddy”.

  
At their subjects snarled statement, Trivake considers their words. _‘Bit of him and you’_ … is that what his subject is then? Trivake turns, ignoring the snarling thing behind them. They never even considered… but it would make sense. Trivake isn’t quite so foolish as to believe they created something from nothing. It would be perfectly believable that if this new energy, while independent in thought and consciousness, is merely a merge between the blue paladin's insecurities and fears and Trivake’s own corrupted ambition and ruthlessness.

  
_Hmmm…_

  
While this new concept certainly throws some of’s Trivake's initial plans for a loop, they can still work with this. They turn back to face their subject, who seems to be growling in the back of his throat while he continues to give Trivake an unnerving grin.

  
Trivake decides to take a different approach this time. “I’m sure we’re both very eager to test your new abilities” Trivake starts carefully, “but I would think that you would want to pay someone else a visit first blue paladin- ”

  
The boy scoffs, interrupting them. He rolls his eyes, “First? Don’t call me that ‘blue paladin’ shit anymore. It’s embarrassing. Second, if you're referring to my so-called ‘team’, well don’t you worry your creepy bone mask off”. He gives Trivake a cold smile, “they’re in line right after you”.

  
Trivake sighs internally. Looks like more tedious re-conditioning. They’re just about to start again when they here that their subject is still muttering under his breath.

  
“Yeah, we’ll start with Shiro. Wipe that smug golden garrison boy into the dirt…. And then next? Oh next should be Allura, wonder how that stupid princess would look like when… yeah, yeah and then pidge….”

  
Trivake can’t help but move closer with their curiosity. The subject appears to be talking to themselves, his eyes moving back and forth frantically, staring right through Trivake.

  
“They won’t ignore us then, would they? Heh, no more seventh wheel for us… no, just imagine the looks on their faces… on Keith’s face when he sees- ”

  
For some reason, the boy’s muttering stops. It looks like he’s struggling to speak but nothing is coming out. Trivake see’s his brows furrow in what looks like confusion.

  
_‘Something’s wrong’_

  
Trivake has no sooner thought it when the boy goes rigid again. It’s so unexpected that Trivake takes a step back. Unlike before, the boy’s eyes stay open, dark irises staring desperately at the ceiling. His mouth snaps shut, the boy grinding his teeth as he starts to pant harshly through his clenched jaw.

  
This isn’t supposed to be happening. Trivake doesn’t understand, everything went according to their procedure, this kind of reaction shouldn’t be happenin-

  
_No._

  
Trivake rushes back to the table at the back of the room. It shouldn’t be possible, Trivake injected concentrated quintessence into the boy, why is he rejecting it?!

  
Even as Trivake looks quickly around the table, they already know it’s pointless. They have no more of their own energy concentrated. What they had used was all they had.

  
Trivake turns back around, hurrying back over to the boy. They try to grab for the boy's mind, claws reaching forward. Before they can make contact though, the boy gasps, head snapping down to look Trivake directly in the eye.

  
With eyes back at a cerulean blue, the boy whispers “ _no_ ”.

  
Then his eye’s roll back into his head and the boy slumps, unconscious.

  
There’s an eerie silence as Trivake collects themselves. If anyone else was in the room, druid or not, they would be able to sense the waves of cold anger and frustration coming off of them. It takes all of Trivakes training not to let out a long-suffering sigh. They glide back over to the control panel, pushing the communications button for the drone.

  
“Come to my lab and take my subject back down to his holding cell”.

  
The drone gives its standard reply, and so Trivake goes to leave, pausing in the doorway to look back at their unconscious subject sagging on the table.

  
It looks like Trivake has their work cut out for themselves. They roll their shoulders back, exiting the room. It’s a shame really, they think as they stride back down the halls, they were so close. But this is merely a minor set back, they are to be expected. _Perhaps they just need more of their own concentrated quintessence…._ Either way, Trivake knows that they’ll figure it out eventually. They haven't come this far only to fail on their path to greatness.

Besides. Trivake is a patient druid, and they and their subject curently have all the time in the universe... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was fun now, wasn't it? How are you guys liking Trivake as an OC? Is he creepy enough for you? 
> 
> I hope you guys are still liking the story so far, thanks for sticking with me and my schedule that's about as accurate at predicting the future... aha ha... 
> 
> I'm not sure I would call this the halfway point, but I think that in the next two chapters or so we're gonna get there! Hard to believe that when I started this, I thought I'd be done in ten chapters or so (yeahhh no) 
> 
> Thank you again for reading this story and for all of your support!


	14. Chapter 14

Hey Y'all. Sorry for no new updates, I know it's been a while.   
To start, I'm not going to abandon this fic! This is my ship and GOSH DARNIT, IM GOING DOWN WITH IT!!! I am, however, putting things on pause. I was hoping to update a lot earlier, but then I went on this trip and then got sick with bronchitis when I came back and then university started... ugh. 

I also had the completely smart and sane idea to take seven classes this semester so WHOO HOO. I barely have time to do my school assignments, let alone write and have the energy to be inspired. 

So again, I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a while and that I probably won't be updating for some time yet. But hopefully, if I can get some things done before Thanksgiving weekend, I think I might be able to have some time to write while I'm at home. 

A huge thank-you to all of you who have read and continue to support this fic. I'll try to get something out for you guys soon! And if any of you live in Canada as I do, Happy Thanksgiving!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and the team are tired trying to find Lance, and tensions are rising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *appears from out of the void*
> 
> HELLO, YOU AMAZING PEOPLE. Guess who's back my dudes!!  
> Thank-you for sticking around and for all the comments and kudos, sorry that this update has been a bit of a long time coming! I'm finally finished my fall term in university, and WHOO BOY, I am never taking seven courses in a semester again! 10/10 DO NOT recommend. But now I'm on break and though I haven't been writing, I've been thinking about this story and so I think I have my plot points planned a bit better (after looking at past chapters I'm even considering going back and re-writing some of them, yikes).
> 
> Anyway, I thought that, as much as I love the dark Lance storyline, we haven't heard from Keith in a while so I give you a Keith POV chapter, with an extra side of angst... ENJOY.

Keith isn’t sure what time it is when he finally stumbles out of the training room. Though really, he could care less. His body aches from the number of times he’s been thrown across the training room, his lungs are burning, and his shirt is practically glued onto him with sweat, but his mind is still on a loop: going over everything that happened in the past few days. He thought that training to exhaustion, instead of actually thinking about this issue, like he normally does would help. If anything, it’s just made everything worse. Every time his Bayard slices through a drone, he can only think of how the metal wouldn’t give way on the ship. As he listens to his own harsh panting while he trains, it can’t quite drown out his memory of Lance’s scream.

Dragging himself down the hallway, Keith wonders where everyone is. The last person he talked to was Shiro when he stopped by asking him to eat. He…. Can’t remember how long ago that was. Mostly because after Shiro had left, he had stayed in the room until a level 14 droid threw him a little too hard against a wall and he passed out. Keith had woken up in his room, not knowing or caring who carried him there and went straight back in the simulator.

Now though, Keith’s exhaustion is becoming too much for even him to handle. It’s almost a blessing; being mostly preoccupied with how much his arms feel like lead distracts him from thoughts. Mostly. Keith starts wondering if he should shower first or grab food when his stomach growls. _Well, that answers that I guess._

His feet turn towards the kitchen, his slow shuffling steps echoing in the hallways. He’s almost reached the dining area when Hunk steps out of the doorway. Either Hunk is in his own head or Keith looks as gross as he feels because Hunk starts when he sees him. “Oh! H-hey Keith”.

Keith tries to offer up a smile, “Hey”.

An awkward silence descends between them for a moment, and Keith takes the opportunity to look at Hunk. Though it might have only been a few days since Keith last saw the yellow paladin, he seems to be fading away. His normally tan skin appears paler, and the wane smile he directs at Keith is cracking around the edges. For a split second, Keith feels guilt squirm in his gut as he realizes how self-occupied he’s been. Thankfully, Hunk (ever the caretaker) breaks the silence by shuffling out of the way.

“I was actually just about to go find you!” he starts, gesturing to Keith, “I noticed you haven’t come by to eat anything in a while so I figured you might be hungry”. Neither of them mentions why Keith hasn’t been by, or why it might have taken so long for Hunk to come to find him. Keith just tries smiling again, giving Hunk a low murmured “Thanks” as he brushes past him into the dining area.

“There’s stew on the counter there” Hunk calls out from behind Keith, “I’m just going to go see if I can’t find everybody else”. Keith gives a wave over his shoulder to show Hunk he heard him, before making a slow bee-line toward the island in the kitchen. He notices Pidge is seated at the small table across from him. The area surrounding them is a mess of papers, tablets and other tools Keith can’t hope to recognize. Pidge doesn’t even look up from their laptop screen as Keith grabs a bowl off the counter and ladles some of the weirdly green stew that’s in the pot. He briefly wonders what the hell is in the stew to make it green but decides that he’s too tired to care.

It’s only when Keith plops onto the chair beside Pidge, do they finally notice him. Pidge’s nose wrinkles before they blink and shift their eyes to him. “Ugh, Keith you reek”. Keith just grunts in response, making Pidge roll their eyes before turning back to whatever is on their laptop. Keith blows on the stew waiting for it too cool as he takes in Pidge as well. Just like Hunk, They seem paler, their freckles more pronounced across their nose. Keith also can’t help but notice how much darker the circles under Pidges eyes have become.

Pidge must sense Keith staring because they snap at him, “I thought you came here to eat, not stare at me”. As soon as the words are out of their mouth, Pidge sighs. “Sorry”, they mutter. Keith just shrugs again, trying to ignore the growing sense of guilt and helplessness in his gut. “It’s ok”.

He notices Pidges lip thin at his response, but apparently, they decide to hold whatever response they had back. It just makes Keith feel more uncomfortable. They both know it’s not ok, but what else can Keith expect? Everyone except him has the skills needed to find Lance, have been working overtime trying to do so. All he can do is pace around his head, like a tiger in a cage.  

Keith tries not to stab at his stew too angrily as he thinks about it.

“I’m pretty sure that whatever is in there is already dead Keith” Pidge comments dryly. This time it’s Keith who rolls his eyes before finally taking a bite of his food. It’s good, tasting better than he would expect a stew of that colour to taste like. This only serves to remind Keith, a memory rising, unbidden, as he eats.

_“No way”._

_“Oh come on you big baby, so it doesn’t look like earth food, who cares? Hunk made it, so you know it’s good!”_

_Keith glares at Lance. Lance simply grins wider as he holds out a plate with what appears to be two red striped rocks sandwiching a neon rainbow of things Keith can’t begin to identify. Lance tries to nudge the plate more into his face, but Keith simply crosses his arms more, as if that can protect him from this clearly insane Lance._

_“There is no way that those are burgers”._

_Lance sighs and rolls his eyes as he places the plate back onto the countertop before gripping Keith by the shoulders. Keith ignores the fluttering in his stomach as the heat from Lance's hands seeps into his skin. “Keith” Lance starts, starring with a weird intensity at Keith, “when has Hunk, my bestest friend in the known universe, the bro of all bro’s, the PB to my jelly, our own resident culinary genius, ever stirred us wrong before?”_

_Keith feels his eyes narrow at Lance as he finishes. “First off,” he says, putting up a hand between them, “that was a terrible pun. Secondly” he says, ignoring Lance’s grin, “there is no way in hell, that something that looks like it's been irradiated is edible, even in space”._

_Lance steps back, wagging his finger. “But au contraire, my dear Keith” Lance says smoothly, “one, that pun was amazing, all my puns are (Keith snorts), annnnd…”_

_Lance picks up the ‘burger’ with a flourish, taking a huge bite. “I’ve already had like, three of these, so I know that they’re delicious”._

_Keith scrunches his face up at that, “How in the hell can you eat three space burgers all by yourself?”_

_“Because my Mama says I’m a growing boy,” Lance says haughtily, turning his nose up in the air. He continues to eat his ‘burger’ while Keith eyes the other one on the plate with disdain. Lance is making little obnoxious humming and mmmhmm noises while he eats, clearly only doing it to annoy Keith. Still though…. They way he’s eating with gusto starts to make Keith reconsider._

_As if sensing that he’s close to winning, Lance swallows before saying, “come on man, they’re really pretty great”. Keith contemplates a second longer before giving a resigned sigh._

_“Fine”. He points at Lance threateningly, “but if I die because of alien food poisoning, I’m coming back to haunt the shit out of you”._

_Lance just mutters about Keith being “a big angsty baby”, as Keith picks up the rock-with-neon-patty-burger thing and takes a bite. As the taste hits his tongue, Keith feels his eyes widen in surprise. It’s like he’s back on earth, ten years old and sitting in the diner booth across from his Dad._

_They always went to the dinner down the road on Fridays, where Keith would always get the same thing. A bacon swiss burger with fries and a milkshake._

_Caught up in the memory, Keith doesn’t realize he’s crying until Lance says his name._

_“Keith?...”_

_Keith blinks, hastily wiping at his eyes. He ducks his head before taking another bite so that he doesn’t have to try and talk past the sudden lump in his throat. Lance doesn’t say anything and after a while, he finally manages to swallow. He looks up to see Lance frowning slightly with concern._

_“You should tell Hunk that… that these are great”._

_At that, Lance’s frown disappears, and he nudges Keith with his shoulder. “You should just tell him yourself”. He smiles at Keith and Keith smiles back, a weird fluttering feeling in his chest. They’re almost done their burgers before Keith’s curiosity finally gets the better of him._

_“What made Hunk decide to make burgers in the first place anyway?” he asks Lance, which for some reason, makes Lance suddenly inhale and start choking. Alarmed, Keith goes to pat him on the back but Lance quickly recovers, managing to stutter out, “O-oh you know, no reason!”_

_Keith pins a glare at Lance, as Lance suddenly seems very invested in the last few bites of his burger._

_“Lance…”_

_Lance throws his hands up in surrender, “fine! Fine, I overheard you talking to Shiro on our last mission”. Lance looks away, and Keith could swear that there’s a fine dusting of pink on tan cheekbones._

_“I heard something about how you would ‘kill for a burger these days’ and I mean, we’ve all been missing earth food and Hunk HAS been experimenting lately what with all the new planets we’ve visited and so I thought there couldn’t be any real harm in asking…”_

_“Lance”._

_“and so anyway, that got me thinking about asking Coran…”_

_“Lance”._

_“cause if anyone should know about what’s edible and what’s not it would be him”_

_“Lance!”_

_“and then Hunk and I had to try and figure out what would actually work together and…”_

_“LANCE!”_

_Lance stops mid-rant, finally noticing Keith glaring at him. “Uh… sorry?”_

_Keith rolls his eyes before pulling the Blue paladin into a quick hug._

_“Thank-you,” Keith says softly._

_Pulling out of the hug, Lance rubs the back of his neck sheepishly._

_“Uh, I mean, yeah, no problem man”._

_Keith smiles at him again before giving Lance a less than gentle slap on the back. “Guess you showed me that I never need doubt Hunk’s cooking again”._

_“Who’s doubting my cooking?”_

_Both of them whirl around to see aforementioned paladin standing in the doorway of the kitchen, clearly trying his best to scowl at them. At Hunk’s appearance, Lance launches himself over to him, starting on another rant, accusing Keith of thinking that Hunk would poison them. As he listens, Keith privately smiles to himself before chiming in…_

“… Keith?”

Keith blinks, suddenly realizing he’s been glaring down at his bowl of stew for the past few minutes and that Pidge is peering at him from under their glasses, concern colouring their features. “I’m fine” he mutters, waving Pidge off before stuffing food into his mouth. He keeps his eyes fixed firmly on the table in front of him, partly because he can sense that Pidge is still staring at him and partly because of the tell-tale wetness in his eyes. So focused on tamping down on his emotions, Keith jumps a bit when he feels Pidges small hand close over his wrist. He looks up sharply at them, not sure if he wants their words of comfort just now. Except Pidge doesn’t say anything, just fixes Keith with a look and giving his wrist a firm squeeze before pulling their hand away.

“Thanks”.

Pidge just shrugs, already back to focusing on their laptop.

Silence settles between them and Keith shifts uncomfortably. He feels awkward, not knowing what to say. He had barely just begun a tentative friendship between Pidge and Hunk before Lance was taken and now, after the failed mission and the avoiding the team, he doesn’t know how to repair those bridges. It doesn’t help with how useless he feels at the moment and after seeing how tired Hunk and Pidge look, it only worsens that feeling, making guilt squirm in his gut for hiding away in the training room.

Scraping the bottom of his bowl, Keith debates asking Pidge if there have been any updates. Not that he doesn’t want to know what’s going on with finding Lance it's just…

_Lance suddenly arches, his spine twisting in a horrible angle as he falls to his knees. He opens his mouth and screams._

_It’s unlike anything he’s heard before, it doesn’t even sound human. Every muscle in his body is strained as he arches off the floor on nothing but his heels and his shoulder blades. Lance’s eyes are wide open, the blue of his iris practically lost amongst the whites in his agony._

_Keith can do nothing but watch as Lance continues to scream and writhe before his eyes._

Keith shuts his eyes against the memory. He’s still not sure what’s worse, his brain playing that image on a loop 24/7, or keeping himself in the dark because he’s too scared to find out if that’s going to be his last memory of Lance.

_Still_ , he thinks as he picks up his now empty bowl, _knowing might be better than nothing_. Might be better than pushing himself to exhaustion every day. Mind made up, he turns from where he put his bowl in the sink.

“Hey, Pidge?”

Pidge gives an “hmm?” sound from behind their computer.

“Are there… any updates?” Keith asks, trying to keep his voice steady. Pidge’s hands hover over the keyboard as they turn their head over too look at Keith.

“Oh, so now we're asking about Lance?” Pidge says, their cold tone making Keith wince.

“Look, I’m sorry that I… haven’t been… around”

Pidge snorts at that, their friendly manner from before vanishing. “Around? More like disappeared completely”. They glare at Keith, “look I know you and Lance haven’t always been the best of friends, but this is taking it to a whole other level”.

Keith feels anger and hurt flare in his chest. “Hey, I’m not avoiding the team because of some dumb rivalry! If you don’t remember, I was the only one who wanted to go after him!”

“Yeah!” Pidge yells, “because you’re always the guy with a suicidal hero complex!”

Keith feels himself take a step towards Pidge. “Yeah Pidge, you wanna know why? BECAUSE IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!”

Pidge looks shocked and for a second, Keith doesn’t quite register his words, how his voice has risen to a shout. He realizes that he’s panting and that his hands are shaking, so he quickly turns away from Pidge and grips at the counter.

“It should have been me Pidge”. He says it again, quietly, finally verbalizing the guilt that’s been eating away at him. When Pidge still doesn’t say anything, Keith continues.

“It’s like you said. I’m the hot-shot hero, the one who goes in swinging”. He forces himself to swallow around the lump in his throat. “I – Lance is gone because of my mistakes. I never really thought about how my actions in the field would affect others because I… was always supposed to be the expendable one.”

He hears Pidge makes a small hurt sound from behind him. Keith ignores it, still not looking up.

“And- and now…” damnit, his voice is wobbling and he can feel the hot sting of tears in his eyes. “Now, it’s my fault he’s gone and I can’t do anything to get him back”.

_It's my fault and I love him._

He hears the scrape of Pidges chair on the floor, Their footsteps making their way over to him. He tries not to stiffen when he feels small arms hug him from behind.

Pidge sniffs, “I’m sorry”.

Keith takes another steadying breath before turning around and hugging Pidge back. “Me too”.

Pidge’s grip tightens imperceptibly, another silent apology as they clearly try not to cry into Keith’s chest. Pulling back, Pidge quickly wipes their eyes while Keith does the same.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Pidge says again, adjusting their glasses. “It’s just, after the last mission and then Allura’s debrief, all the stakes have been raised, so Hunk and I have been trying to expand the algorithm’s search area and have trying to input the information we’ve been getting from the blade and - ”

Keith feels a chill at Pidge’s words. “Whoa, wait. Pidge, what do you mean the stakes have been raised?” Pidge starts, pausing mid-sentence. “Oh yeah, you didn’t hear the debrief after…” As Pidge trails off, suddenly looking nervous. Keith feels unease twist his insides.

“Pidge? What happened at the debrief?”

They seem to debate with themselves a moment longer before they finally speak, “Keith… Do you…” Pidge swallows, “Do you remember how that druid injected something into Lance?”

At the mere mention of that moment, Keith finds himself tensing, as the memory of Lance’s screams echoes throughout his head.

“Yes”. _How could I forget?_

“Well…” Pidge looks away before taking a shaky breath and speaking again.

“Allura was saying that from what Lotor said, Lance is being injected with a type of concentrated quintessence. It's normally fine in small doses, hell, it’s the same thing that the healing pods use”.

Keith remains silent as Pidge twists their hands nervously. “Except… Allura says that knowing the Druids, it’s probably corrupted. And while pure quintessence might just act as some kind of body booster, corrupted quintessence does more than that… Allura says she’s seen it in action and from what she knows… It… changes the person who’s getting injected.”

As Pidge falls quiet Keith can feel his blood run cold, can start to hear the pounding of his heart in his ears.

“What do you mean Pidge.”

Pidge looks up, and for the first time since he walked in the room, Keith finally recognizes the mixture of tension and tiredness he saw as Hunk left, that he sees etched into Pidge’s face now.

Fear.

Pidge swallows roughly, appearing small and like the child that they are.

“Allura says that she first saw it when it happened to Zarkon. And that…”

Keith is quiet, wanting Pidge to stop, his brain is screaming ‘ _no_ ’.

“If we don’t get to Lance in time”

_All those memories, Lance laughing, smiling. That’s all they’ll be if they don’t get to him._

“ …he might not be the same…”

_You idiot. You complete idiot. You should have told him._

“… he might not even know us anymore…”

 

 

Keith doesn’t remember leaving the kitchen, though he thinks he remembers bumping into the others on their way in. Remembers how Shiro went to greet him, only for his face to fall at whatever expression was on Keith’s own face. Keith isn’t really aware of where he is until he hears the hiss of his bedroom door close behind him. Except, it isn’t his room.

He only knows it isn’t his because this room is much more decorated than his is. More lived in. There are random posters on the wall, mostly of things Keith doesn’t really recognize. He doesn’t even know how Lance would have gotten them in the first place.

Looking around, Keith sees the blue lion slippers by the edge of Lance’s bed, the blue rode flung haphazardly over the chair by the wall desk. The wall where the bed is is covered in photographs. Photo’s of the different planets they’ve saved, of galaxies, selfies of Lance with the team, Lance with aliens, pictures of Keith…

Keith starts at that. It’s weird to see his face plastered onto Lance’s wall. Yet, there he is. Most of the photos seem to have been taken when Keith didn’t know it, his face turned away and not looking at the camera. Peering closer, the Keith in the photo looks completely different to how Keith normally sees himself. The Keith in the photos looks… peaceful, sometimes contemplative. In one, he has his head thrown back in laughter, sitting beside a put-out Shiro and a blurry Slav. It becomes clear, that Lance has been taking these photos of Keith for a while now.

Keith feels his breath hitch, and for some stupid reason, that photo is what does him in. The idea that Lance – joking, laughing, annoying, stupid, beautiful Lance – might never look at Keith the way he does in the photos, kills him.

Feeling the way his heart seems to want to tear itself out of his chest, Keith curls up onto Lance’s bed.

Sleep doesn’t come for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head, I think that Keith is actually a really emotional boi, he just tends to cry behind closed doors....  
> I can't tell you guys how good it is to be back and writing again! Especially after the things I've heard about season 8 of Voltron.... Not going to lie, I had it spoiled for me so I'm hesitant to watch it even with the good moments I've heard about it! Whatever your stance on the show, please be nice to the creators, they're people too. 
> 
> On the bright side, now that Voltron is done, WE HAVE SO MUCH CREATIVE FREEDOM. MWAHAHAHA! So let's go out there and write/draw/create our little hearts out! I am determined to finish the fic even more now. 
> 
> As always, thank you all you lovely people, for the comments and kudos. They warm my dead little writer's heart.   
> If you want, you can find me on tumblr as Flulamela!

**Author's Note:**

> Just thought I'd point this out before I forget, but this story is going to be taking place kinda in between the second and third season, so sorry but no clone Shiro this time around.


End file.
